Fallen Angel Broken Song
Banner by Marauder by Midnight What if... Edward wasn't as strong as we thought he was? ***Eclipse References***
10. Just Talking
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1875 Review this Chapter
I realized that it wasn’t the wisest idea for to place myself in the middle of a mall, so I put my trust in Alice to do the shopping. She asked me my sizes, then promised that the next time we went shopping we would go together.
After she had gone, I walked down the hallway to an empty room, stepped inside and locked the door behind me. Sitting down on the bed, I snorted at myself for locking the door. It would hardly keep anyone in this house out. It was a purely human thing to do, and this made me feel drained, exhausted.
I flopped back onto the mattress and closed my eyes. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Alice. I should most likely go talk to Esme and Carlisle. Dragging myself to my feet again, I walked down the hall, dropped down the stairs three at a time, and quickly shot past the open living room. He was there. I could feel a snarl growing in my chest, but squelched it.
Carlisle stood in the kitchen with Tanya and one of her sisters, and all of their gazes shot to me when I walked in.
“Am I interrupting?”
“Not at all,” Carlisle murmured, sending a pointed look at the others. “Excuse me.”
He came to me in the doorway, then started up the stairs, keeping himself between me and the doorway to the living room. I heard voices rising, the sound turning my legs to lead, so that I slowed then stopped. I turned involuntarily towards them, the world dissolving around me. Carlisle broke the spell, taking my elbow and hauling me up the stairs.
We walked through a bedroom, two suitcases lying on a large bed but nothing more, and into a wood paneled office. There he deposited me gently in a chair and sat himself across from me, waiting until my eyes had focused before he started talking.
“Bella,” he said quietly, “I understand that you’ve spoken to my children.”
“Most of them,” I replied quietly.
“I can understand how you feel. My own experience wasn’t exactly that of the rest of my family’s. I have to tell you, however, that I think you should talk to my oldest son.”
I appreciated that he didn’t use his name. The boy’s voice alone had grated on my nerves. Now the idea of a nice quiet sit-down wasn’t exactly appealing, but the debilitating affect that the casual brush-by had had on me proved Carlisle was correct.
“I know that I can’t let what just happen downstairs happen anymore,” I began carefully. “I also know that I will not avoid him, sneaking around like I did something wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong Bella,” he said, leaning forward and placing his hands on my shoulders. “You have to trust me on that. I know that my children have told you the same thing.”
“Yes,” I said, “They did. I just…”
I didn’t want to do this, not now, in front of this man who had offered me a home, a family, a life. My heart however, my un-beating heart, wanted other wise. I lowered my head as the sobs wracked my body, unable to meet his gaze.
“Let them out Bella.” Carlisle wrapped his arms around me, held me tightly to his chest. And let myself collapse against him, let myself drown in the pain of everything I had lost. “Let it go,” he murmured into my hair. “When your heart breaks, you have to get the shards out somehow. The tears are there because it hurts, but they’re also there to heal. I know,” he chuckled, “we can’t shed tears. But if we could, I’d be crying with you now.”
We sat like that for many minutes, as I broke down helplessly in the arms of a man I hardly knew. When I was finally able to pull myself together, I sat up, pulled my hair off my face, and took a deep breath.
“Why me Carlisle?” I whispered.
“I can’t really explain it Bella,” he replied. “You were his singer. The human whose blood called to him so strong, that his control shattered and he could do nothing but what he did do. Edward is the strongest of my children…” I looked skeptically at him, sorting quickly through my thoughts.
“Oh, he’s killed more times than me, or Rose, yes, but he fights a greater thirst than us, and conquers it. That is strength, and I think that if you looked within yourself, you would find that Edward did hesitate before he succumbed to his nature.”
“How did you know?” I whispered. The thought, the knowledge of this, had always been with me in the back of my mind, but I had ignored it, brushed it off.
“I know Edward,” Carlisle smiled sadly. “I know how he thinks. He could never have given in to his thirst without putting up a valiant struggle first.”
I struggled to my feet and he stood with me. “I want to thank you,” I said shakily. “I was going to before I had my meltdown but…”
“Oh, Bella, what on earth could you have to thank me for?” he asked me with a sad smile.
“For… keeping me. Letting me stay and live off the foundation you’ve built. The money, the… family.”
“You are my daughter now, just as the others are. You will always be welcome where ever we happen to be.”
Smiling, I turned to leave, but he stopped me.
“Bella, would you like me to be there with you, when you do talk with him?”
“No,” I answered quietly. “It’s a nice thought, but I think it’s something I’ll have to do alone.”
“Well, be careful with him Bella. As I’ve said, I know my son. He’ll be tearing himself apart over this. If you’re too rough with him, he’ll bolt, and I must confess that I would rather he stayed close by for a while.”
“I’ll… keep that in mind,” I replied, considering the strategy I had concocted only hours before. “It’s not something I understand, but I’m… drawn to him.”
“You are his fledgling Bella. You will always be close to him, whether you want to or not.”
Grimly, I shut the door behind me, leaving Carlisle alone. If Edward was hurt more by my kindness than my anger, that’s what I would give him, no matter how hard it was. But to be connected to him, forever, could I survive that?
I listened to my mother in a daze, stayed limp when her arms crushed me in an embrace I did not deserve. I could hear the words, but couldn’t… listen. What had she done to me? I couldn’t hear her thoughts, and that scared me. And the kiss, how did the kiss make me feel? Why had she done that? Did she remember me kissing her before I…
Esme had stopped talking, was staring over my shoulder, and I could feel eyes on my back. I shivered. She was behind me.
“Could I talk to Eddie alone for a minute?”
I cringed. No one had ever called me that. I didn’t know what it meant, so unfamiliar and foreign. My mother’s eyes narrowed, but then she stood, apparently unaware of the instant tightening of my hand on hers. She left me, and I couldn’t find my voice to tell her not to leave me alone with this girl.
I stood and quickly crossed the room to the window. Pressing my back against the glass, knowing that if I had to I could escape through it, I faced her. And was struck dumb. She was beautiful, more beautiful than I remembered. Perfect curves, milky pale skin, and those eyes. Eyes that had haunted me since… I swallowed. Since I killed her.
“We need to talk,” she whispered.
“Why?” I asked warily.
What could she possible have to say to me? She stepped innocently over to the couch, sitting down without even a rustle of cloth against skin. She kept her eyes on the floor. I strained, concentrated, but I could get nothing from her head. I had heard the thoughts of the rest of my family. They said she knew everything. Did she know my thoughts?
“I cannot forgive you for what you did to me,” she began, and I flinched. I did not need to hear this. “I can tolerate you though. I’m saying this for your family.”
What did she mean? Oh why couldn’t I hear her thoughts?
You don’t want to, a little voice snarked in my ear. It was right.
I quaked with the thought of what was in this girl’s mind. But why was she telling me this.
“Carlisle said it was because I am your fledgling,” she continued.
The word was foreign to me, but there was a sound to it, a feeling I wasn’t sure of.
“There is a physical bond that draws me to you, created by your siring me. That is all there is to that. I will fight it, because I have no wish to remain close to you.”
I was pressing myself back into the glass again. I knew this; I could not survive hearing it. I remained silent, though my tongue ached with the need to speak the words that had lodged in the back of my throat. She wouldn’t believe anything I had to say. That pissed me off. She knew everything, she must know how I felt, how sorry I was. Yet she ignored it.
She must have seen the anger flash in my eyes. For an infinitesimal second, it was mirrored in her own. Then her eyes softened.
“Think about what I said, Eddie. Think about what you did.”
Standing, she stepped toward me, and I edged even farther back into the window, feeling the glass give just slightly. She raised her hand, brushed her thumb softly across my cheek. Unable to stop myself, I turned into the impossible warmth of her palm.
Suddenly, she leapt away from me, hissing with a hatred that burned the air like acid. My body instinctively moved into a defensive crouch. My eyes darted back and forth, but I saw nothing, though she continued to snarl.
“Anthony,” she spit.
Anthony, but that was my…
“Get out of here.”
I was so confused, there was nothing there, but she clearly saw something.
“Miserable wretch,” she growled. “Leave before I give you a reason to look so pitiful.”
“Bella,” I said firmly, placing a hand on her shoulder. How could I touch her?
On contact, she jolted as if an electric shock had passed between us, and for all I had felt, one truly had. Her head whipped back and forth between my face and the empty patch of air she had stared off into, all the while venom dripping from exposed teeth.
Jerking away from my hand, she darted from the room, leaving me alone staring at my outstretched palm.
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