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In My Time

In My Time by Awsomealice94 Thank you Marauder by Midnight for the banner Isabella Marie Swan and Edward Anthony Mason were just sixteen and seventeen before they met, their destinies never seeming to cross paths. Living in the very outskirts of Chicago, Bella doesn’t want to be married as quickly as society wants. Edward wants to help assist President Wilson by fighting in the World War. Plans seemed to all change when, unexpectedly, with one little spark, a fire seemed to ignite the both of them. Through troubles beyond comprehension, the times of properness and society, influenza on the rise, and abhorrent losses- perhaps even their own deaths, the two of them must concur them all. But can they? A love story to the fullest-but of course, even the best love stories have tragedy and losses nestled inside. (2nd most favorite on the site! Thanks guys! Also-In My Time was on display in Waterstones Bookstore, located in Oxford,United Kingdom for a twilight event)

- alright, I have a VERY good feeling about this story, and I am hoping you will too. Disclaimer- I own nothing, I just write fan fic, and I love doing it :)

29. Illusion

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~Isabella Marie Mason’s Point of View~

Through the fiery inferno, I was able to gaze at all the things I somehow knew I would never have. They came in bright flashes; some quick, and some so excruciatingly long that it felt as though my heart were being ripped away from my chest when the visions went away. I was connected to all of them-to the life we had hoped to have. Like a string attached from my ribs to the very core of these illusions, with each that came each tore something out of me and away. I yearned for them to be real. But that was just it-they were illusions, and illusions they would forever remain.

The flash of a healthy woman, one that looked remarkably like me, was consuming my thoughts. Here she-or I-was gently stoking her stomach back and forth, carefully and adoringly.

It was painfully obvious that she was with child. She had the healthy glow, a lovely blush in her cheeks, which told of nothing but happiness. The smile on her face matched that of her husband, Edward. They looked up at each other and exchanged a look that only the two of them, about to be new parents, would ever understand.

The vision revealed enough so that I could see what room they were standing in. it was the empty room most nearest to our-Edward’s and mine-bedroom. It was a nursery. They stood looking over a beautiful white basinet, lined with lace, waiting empty for the baby she would soon give birth to.

I gasped with pain as the vision left me, taking the hopeful outlook I always had-the one I was using for when Edward and I might someday have children-away from my heart. It was soon replaced by another illusion, and even though I knew it was going to slip away I clung to it like it was the only oxygen I had.

Here, a woman was lying upright in the bed I always slept in with Edward. She had the look of pure exhaustion on her face. Her brown bangs were matted by sweat that clung to her brow, the rest of her hair pulled back into a long, disheveled braid. Her cheeks were rosy and warm from the pains of childbirth, but her eyes sparkled with relief and happiness.

A crying baby, wrapped in a bundle of blankets, was brought over to her awaiting arms. Her face lit up and tears swam elegantly down her face. She slightly rocked the baby in her arms, which were made as if to hold nothing else but that child. Edward walked in, quickly at first and then rather hesitantly. The woman smiled, “It’s a girl.” She whispered.

A grin broke out on his face and he rushed to her. He bent down to kiss her forehead, and then to look at his daughter. He saw a slightly pink little baby, sleeping soundly, in the blankets. She looked just like him. He then bent down to kiss the baby girl, the exact image of himself.

I cried out as the vision disappeared, ripping away the maternal instincts and pure joy I was meant to experience, instead leaving emptiness in my heart. The pain of my very soul being ripped from my chest was more than the fire consuming me would ever inflict.

Again, another illusion was replaced it, and I clung with clenched fingers to this vision even more than the one before it; for each time it left me, it was worse than the one before it. And I would be emptier than I had been the one before it.

The vision opened up to our kitchen. It was beautiful outside and the sun was streaming in through the windows. A woman, a little older now but just as beautiful and just as happy as before, finished cleaning the reminisces of chocolate chip cookies, which her children had eaten as an afternoon snack.

She folded the dishtowel and placed it next to the sink before gazing out the window and to the backyard.

Three children were running across the lawn, happily laughing, as Edward chased them. The eldest, a girl not more than seven years old, had a white dress on with lace trim that was evidently not made for playing like this. But as her mother understood, it didn’t matter if she had grass stains on the front-she could play in whatever she liked. Her hair was auburn, like her father, and ran in long curls down her back. Her eyes were a bright emerald green. She looked over at one of her brothers. The middle child, no more than five years old, ran around with his baseball mitt on. He had brown hair like his mother, and green eyes like his father. He was trying to get the baseball from his father, who was carrying the littlest of the family. This little boy was four and had auburn hair, again, like Edward. But finally, there was a child of the woman that had big brown eyes…mimicking her own. As she watched them try to learn baseball, she couldn’t help but smile.

I screamed as it was going…smaller and smaller until I couldn’t even hear the children’s’-my children’s’- laughs anymore. This had almost killed me. I could feel it tearing away almost everything I had. My joy and hopefulness had gone before it. So it took away my ability to have those three children. And with just that one thing came many others; my maternal instincts, my happiness, my reason for being…all being ripped and torn from my body.

And just when I thought nothing more could come, something did. A vision of a very old, but very much in love, couple was seated by a fire. They held hands and exchanged a look I had seen earlier, though it was different. It was not the look of two very happy and in love new parents, but two very happy and very much in love grandparents. Grandchildren whizzed by with their new toys from that Christmas morning. And all the couple, one with brown eyes and one with green, could help thinking is that they had a full and happy life with all the love they could have ever asked for.

I felt myself shuddering with sobs as it was finally ripped away from my desperate but weak clutch. It was the last vision. It took the last things I had left-my ability to grow old…my mortality…my life. I wasn’t even sure love was left for my heart, after I realized that the woman I was seeing in all these visions could have been me, but will never be me.

The fire burned everything, until I woke up numb and cold.

When Carlisle Cullen explained to Edward-I wasn’t even sure it was my Edward anymore-and I what he did…what he was…and what we were my thoughts were confirmed. Everything was taken from me.

I realized then that there was no looking back. That life I wanted to have-that simple yet happy human life-could no longer be mine. I wasn’t human. I didn’t have the means or capacity for such a life.

Which begged the question-what type of life would I now have?

“Correction-what type of life will we now have.” Edward whispered. It made me jump. I found myself on the other side of Carlisle’s apartment in less than a second.

“How-I didn’t-” I tried to tell him that I didn’t say that thought aloud.

“I know…I can…I can hear thoughts. At least, I believe that’s what I’m doing. It’s what Carlisle explained might happen to us.”

“Have you been…reading my thoughts,” I swallowed, “this whole time?” I asked him. He gently shook his head, walking closer to me.

“I have never been able to before. I believe you had a very strong thought and that somehow allowed me to hear it. It seems, with you, I can only listen when you allow me to.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and gently turned me around to face him.

“I can’t.” My voice broke as I turned me head away. I couldn’t even cry.

“You can’t what?” he asked me.

“Look at you. Your eyes…they aren’t the same. They’re red.” I bit my lips, “as red as mine. And I can’t-” my voice broke again.

“Bella…they may have a different color, but they are the exact same. We are the exact same. Besides some physical differences we are Bella and Edward.” he forced me to turn around and to look into his eyes. “Look at them-don’t you see me? Don’t you still see Edward Mason-the man that is more in love with you today than he has ever been before? We have been through everything together. If my mother were here, she would tell me that God only gives us what we can handle and nothing more. We can handle this, love.” He dropped down to a whisper.

I did see him-I saw his eyes somewhere through the red. And then I realized that we could still have some life, the two of us still so in love, even if it was without a few things. We would learn how to cope with being vampires. We would learn how to do it all- together.

“I love you too.” I whispered. We embraced, and even though I knew we were freezing cold to the touch, it was warm and it was safe. In his arms, I knew that I was home and I would be for eternity.