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Hope

Summary:
Edward is trying to write a song for Bella, but he can't seem to finish it. With some help from Alice and his own memories, Edward finally is able to put into words what Bella truly means to him.


Notes:
The song I used for this story does not belong to me. If you recognize it that's because it was sung by Mandy Moore in the chick flick A Walk To Remember. So I don't own it, but it worked out rather nicely here.


1. Hope

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1808   Review this Chapter

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write
over and over again

Silently, Edward sat at the grand piano his fingers tracing over the ivory keys softly as he tried to think. It was Bella’s birthday in a few days and he still couldn’t come up with how he wanted to finish the newest song he had written for her.

How do you put how deeply you feel for someone into a song?

It angered him that he couldn’t think of any way to finish this song and he knew it needed to be done soon. His problem was that there weren’t even words to express his deep love for Bella and his family was no help once so ever. Emmet only made fun of him and Jasper still couldn’t grasp on to the idea of Edward loving a human.

Alice had tried to help, but he only got more and more frustrated with her because she kept pushing him. She knew how he felt, she had seen it with her own eyes, but she couldn’t help him to put it into words either.

"Just write down how you feel Edward. She’ll find a way to understand the mushy drabble." Alice giggled as he scowled over at her and pushed her backwards. She landed with a huff, but smiled up at him nonetheless.

"You aren’t helping me any here Alice..." He glared down at her, but his mouth twitched up in to a smile anyways.

"Okay, go to her tonight and while she’s sleeping, take a pad of paper and a pen. Write down whatever comes to mind when you see her in her most precious state." She smiled up at him and reached around to hand him his pad of paper and a pen.

"Fine..." He shuffled to his feet and took off. Bella would be wondering where he was anyways.

I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again

"Are you sure you don’t want me to go sit in the rocker?" Edward said as he lightly kissed Bella on the head; another shiver seemed to jolt it’s way through her body at his lightest touch.

"For the umteenth time, no. I’m fine." She said before trying to stifle a yawn. She didn’t want to go to bed, not yet.

Sleep was the worst time for Bella because she knew that it was the time she spent away from him that made things hard. Even though he stayed with her all through the night, he couldn’t join her in her dreams because he would never sleep and it pained her. She would always try and stay awake for as long as she could, too afraid to wake up without him.

"Fine, but atleast try to sleep." He remarked as she yawned again, only this time even louder and without stifling it.

"Ack! Would you stop fussing over me and just write whatever it is you plan on writing..." She yawned once more and this time could help but to let her eyes droop a little.

Slowly, Bella slipped into dreaming of a world without Edward and he began to write. He thought about what Bella was to him, what she symbolized to him in his life. She was the epitome of pure innocence, everything pure in this world was retained in her body. She was his light, his love, she was his hope. Hope that maybe he had found heaven, even if it was here on Earth.

So, he sat there and remembered all of the times he and Bella had spent together.

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

"Edward?" Bella’s voice spoke out of the silence that had entrapped them both while they laid together in the field.

"Yes?" He sighed as he kissed her head and pressed his cold cheek against her warm one.

"Do you plan to ever make me like you?" She asked this very innocently for this subject had always been a touchy one where Edward was concerned.

"You know I want what’s best for you Bella..." He trailed off as he began to trace the dark blue of her veins up and down her arms.

"What’s best for me is to be with you." She spoke more defiantly now, making her desire known.

"Well that’s where we seem to disagree, my dear." He turned her face up so that he could make his choice plain and clear; he would not be changing her, at least not any time soon.

"Fine." She huffed as she turned around to stare up at the sky.

The stars were bright tonight, although it helped to be out in the woods where there was no light pollution to block out the night sky. She always felt comforted with the stars, always felt like they knew things that she did not and she often hoped they would share their secrets with her. She knew Edward was trying to do what was best for her, but couldn’t he see?

Didn’t he understand that he was all she had ever hoped for?

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again

"Edward! Stop!" Bella giggled as she grasped at his hands which were relentlessly tickling her sides.

"Fine, ruin all my good fun..." He stopped and proceeded to pout.

"Oh, you know I can’t resist you when you pout..." She laughed as she leaned in and kissed him softly on his rock hard lips.

It was enough to melt his heart, if had one and Edward couldn’t help but smile when he looked at her. His Bella.

"You know Alice is almost done planning the wedding. We could get married soon..." He spoke the last sentence softly, not wanting to provoke her.

"I still think you ought to change me first, that way we could have more guests on your side of the church." She spoke as she ran a hand softly through his bronze hair.

"I don’t want to talk about it." He sighed as he laid down, pulling her down with him so that she could be on top of him.

"Well I do!" She said playfully as she pushed her index finger against his nose. It was like pushing hard against a brick wall.

"Can’t you just be happy being human?" He asked as he kissed her finger lightly, a very human-like gesture.

"No, I’m only happy when you tell me what you have planned for me in the future...being a vampire included..." She smirked as she leaned down and kissed him gently; she always knew how to get her way.

When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have
for me over again

Edward sat there and watched Bella sleep for what seemed like hours. He knew that this would be her last night as a human and he wasn’t happy about it. He wanted her to experience the life that he never had, that he never would have. He didn’t want to damn her to an eternity of endless night, even though it would mean that they could finally be together.

He loved her so much, he couldn’t even think about what his life would be like without her shining her inner light upon him. He had been so alone for all those years that he had come up with a system of his own to deal with that loneliness. But now that she would be with him, forever, his ideas seemed kind of, well, lame.

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Edward couldn’t help but laugh to himself, but regretted it because the next thing he knew, a pair of deep chocolate eyes were boring into his own topaz ones.

"Am I a vampire yet?" Bella asked innocently as she lifted her right hand up to her face to inspect it. No, still human, still flawed in every way possible.

"It isn’t morning yet, go back to sleep." He murmured as he closed his eyes, showing her an example of what she ought to be doing at that moment.

"Dammit Edward! Just change me!" She wasn’t shouting, but there were traces of it in her whispered voice.

"Fine!" He had given, he was tired of her nagging and tired of always having to watch himself.

"Good, I’m all yours, forever." She said as she sat up, pushed the collar of her nightshirt aside and barred her neck for him.

He hesitated for a moment, he didn’t think she would really go through with it, but it was now or never. Softly, or as softly as he could, he bent his head down and bit at her skin. He felt her jump at his touch, she was as stiff as a board, but soon she relaxed; she wouldn’t stay that way for long. He let up, as hard as it was because her blood was as good as it smelled.

That was it, she had given him everything, every bit of her that she could and he had taken it in full.

I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

"I love you." She whispered in the dark as her fingertips traced the contours of his face. A Greek God.

"I love you too Bella." He smiled as her fingers traced over his lips and he reached out and kissed them gently.

"I loved the song, it’s really very beautiful." She spoke as she looked him full in the face, if she could cry she would of been sobbing at that moment; he knew that.

"I’m glad, it took forever to finish." He stated as he grabbed at her hand and began to kiss her fingertips softly.

"Well I don’t know why, you know I have know I’m you’re only hope at humanity..." She giggled as he smirked at her and then leaned in to kiss her gently.

"Yes, but putting those feelings into words is a lot harder than you can ever imagine." He sighed as she moved closer to him, resting her head into the hallow of his neck.

"Yes, but it was lovely either way..."

They both laughed and settled themselves into one another for the night. For the rest of their eternal lives.

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope