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Monster Within

Summary:
banner by me banner by me The instant Bella gets turned into a vampire she becomes the thing she was dreading to become- a monster...


Notes:
I OWN NO CHARACTERS!


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1990   Review this Chapter

"NOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, the pain was ceasing a bit, but the fire that had been going on for what felt like months still burned in my veins, making me lose my vision at times, and lose my hearing. I occasionally felt cold hands touch my face, my hands, my throat. I occasionally heard small whispers in the distance but then it was all muffled as the fire lurched me deeper to my personal hell.

I grunted one more time until finally the pain stopped at once and I gasped my eyes open. I jolted up from the soft bed and bumped my head against Edward. I clapped my hand to my head, "Ouch, sorry." I gasped, my breath came in hard rasps and I noticed the reason was because I was thirsty. Edward grinned sheepishly, "Do you have water?" I asked lamely.

Edward chuckled down at me, his smooth voice even more silkier than I had ever heard it, it made my heart melt. I shook my head slightly trying to clear my head, Edward waited patiently, then smiled, "You don't need water." He said calmly.

"Yes I do." I said defensively.

"No you do no Bella, sweetie." He said, my stubbornness went away when he pressed his lips on mine. I realized I didn't feel the same cool feeling every time he pressed his lips on mine and I knew I wasn't warm anymore either, which meant there were no more rules in kissing.

I kissed him lightly first, like I would kiss him if I was still human, then my lips moved swifter and faster on his, he froze for a second but then joined me. I brushed his tongue softly and traced his lips with my tongue. I grabbed his face and pulled in closer to mine, not wanting the moment to stop.

And then I smelled it, I froze mid-kiss, Edward felt me freeze and held my shoulders, in the reflection of his golden eyes I saw mine turn black, dark black. He noticed my eyes too and shifted uncomfortably at the bed.

I looked outside the open window where I saw a little girl skipping happily, her blood smelled good, even if I was up in the second story. She managed to slip on a crack in the street, the little girl fell in slow-motion for me -I knew what would happen next, little girl falls, blood oozes out of the cut, I go nuts- until she hit the ground, that's when everything sped up. The little girl cried in pain as her knee bled out. Wind blew in gently in the room, making the aroma flow around me, my lips curled back into my teeth, I was knocked back by Edward, he was held onto my hands with a lot of force that I never imagined -even though they told me about their super strength-, he pinned my whole body up against the wall, his body firmly pressed against mine. I growled deeply and threw him across the room making him land on the glass bookcase.

Emmett came bounding in the room when he heard the noise, Carlisle came close by him. I snarled, "Out of my way!" And tried to push against them. I remembered what Edward told me that I could be stronger than Emmett when I would be a newborn. I closed my eyes and threw Emmett and Carlisle out of my way and escaped through the door.

At the end of the hallway Alice and Rosalie waited for me, their eyes piercing with worry. I could still smell the blood of the little girl, she cried in pain, and my lips turned into a menacing smile.

No less then ten seconds had the little girl tripped and triggered the beast within me. I chuckled as I heard everyone coming in back of me. I passed through Alice and Rosalie with a quick punch and escaped out into the front door.

I flung it open, looked around swiftly around the lot; no one was outside, just the little girl sniffling on the ground, her hand covered in her blood. The smell reached me again and nearly knocked the breath out of me, I inhaled slowly before looking at the little girl straight in the face.

She sniffled once more before jumping up startled, her brunette curls flying into the air, she stared at me in horror, her dark eyes wide in shock.

I knocked her down onto the floor. She wailed in terror, and I laughed in satisfaction. I closed my eyes and leaned into the little girl's neck. I felt a punch by my ribs and I was flying through the air.

I saw flashes of people, Edward and Emmett both with their hands in fists looking angry. Rosalie cradling the little girl in her arms. Esme's shocked face in the doorway. Carlisle's disappointed face above mine- I had fallen back to the ground. Jasper looking from the upstairs window, his nose flared and Alice trying to restrain him from going after the bleeding girl.

Edward and Emmett both carried me back up the steps with a fast pick-up. Edward carried my lower half of my body and Emmett my upper; both clinging onto my body like cuffs. I struggled to brake free of their iron grasps. My breathing heaved as I lusted for the blood.I growled angrily that I had let my prey get away, I twisted and punched my fists and kicked my feet, but would not get away from either of them. I sighed in deep frustration.

I felt myself being placed on the bed, my body still facing to the ceiling, both Emmett's and Edward's faces were calm. Edward swiftly went to the window and closed it. Emmett stayed -pressing my body hard on the mattress. As soon as the window was closed and the soft breeze stopped entering the room I relaxed a bit, my body still shook uncontrollably at the thought of the blood. My mouth felt to water when I thought about my teeth sinking into her flesh.

Emmett and Edward's hold on me never relaxed until I sighed a shaky sigh and stopped moving, relaxing my tense body into the soft mattress- which caressed my body.

They released me slowly looking at me. I was overwhelmed by sudden guilt and I felt ashamed of myself. I shuddered when I thought about me biting into the little girl, a moment ago I was lusting for her blood, and now I was cursing myself for even think about it. I curled up into a ball hugging my knees against my chest. I sighed, and sniffled. I could have taken a little defenseless girl's life, over losing control.

I shook my head, trying to take away the thoughts, "I'm horrible!" I whimpered into the mattress. Emmett chuckled next to me, his laugh making the bed rock.

Edward sighed and stroked my hair, "No, Bella, you're not horrible. Every one of us had trouble in the beginning -I even had trouble with it for a while, I killed, Bella- its natural for us not to be able to control our lust and strength yet." Edward said, keeping his voice silky smooth.

"I should die! I nearly killed a little girl!" I said shaking my head.

"Bella, don't say that!" Emmett said in a fierce tone.

"I should, I don't deserve to live!" I cried.

"Bella, sweetie, I told you, even the strongest of us fall off the wagon." Edward whispered, his voice untroubled.

I sat up looking at my hands, I was too ashamed to look at either at them in the eyes. "But I'm not strong." I mumbled.

Emmett chuckled again, "Yes you are, Bella, I mean did you see how far Edward flew when you threw him, and how hard I hit the wall when you punched me?!" He asked, not a trace of anger in his voice; just admiration and excitement. I didn't understand, shouldn't he be mad at me for doing that, not how hard he hit the wall.

"I'm sorry about that." I mumbled.

"Don't be sorry for that Bella, I actually think you didn't go to overboard on the whole thing." Emmett said grinning.

"You guys are too understandable towards me." I said stifling a giggle. "But I don't deserve it, I am horrible, I'm not strong enough to control my thirst- even thought i knew I wasn't going to hunt humans!" I added in disgust.

Edward laughed softly, "Bella, even if you came with that state of mind when you were human, once you are a vampire all your thoughts change as soon as you smell blood. But don't worry, it will take you a while but you will control it like us." Edward said and kissed me on my forehead.

"Yeah!" Emmett said.

I scoffed, "No, I don't think I will, just lock me up and hide the key, I doubt that I will get used to this, I didn't know I was going to react this way if I smelled blood! Human blood!" I said.

As soon as I finished my sentence, Alice, Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle came into the room. I dropped my head immediately, my embarrassment returning.

"Hello." Alice said in a small voice. "Bella, you, um...look great as a vampire." I grimaced, I didn't care what i looked like, well not right now at least, I'll check myself out later when this whole thing is taken care of.

"Bella are you all right?" Esme asked looking worried.

I nodded my head not looking up, but keeping my gaze on one spot on the floor.

"It is all right, Bella, you don't have to feel ashamed, trust us, this happened all the time with all of us." Carlisle assured me.

I glanced up slightly and then looked back down, Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me on my left cheek.

"It's not all right, I-I..." I let my voice drop.

"Bella, really its fine, Edward almost massacred an entire town and Jasper nearly destroyed us, really Bella its fine and the little girl is fine also." Alice said kneeling down in front of me.

I perked my head up finally realizing that I had to be worried about the little girl, "Is she all right, what happen? Did anyone see?" I began to panic.

Rosalie chuckled, "She's fine, Bella, I took her to her house, the little girl hardly noticed anything really, she just say you and then nothing else except me carrying her to her mother, so she's fine and no, no one saw you, we made sure." She said.

I nodded and looked back at Alice sitting in front of me, "Thank you guys, for being so nice to me,but, I-I don't know if I am going to get use to this." I said looking out the window.

"Yes you will Bella, in time, give or take about two years, if you stick with animal blood," Carlisle said.

"Unlike Edward." Emmett said chuckling.

Edward shrugged, I giggled.

Then sighed and shook my head, "No, I think you guys should lock me up until I'm perfectly clean!" I said nodding.

Edward shifted uneasily in his spot, "Bella, we cant do that, and I wouldn't want that, you need to be out into the natural world to control your urge, it will take time but yes, I believe you will be fine." He said, I looked into his golden eyes, smooth and liquid. I relaxed.

"I believe you, then." I said looking up to my family, "I believe in all of you." They all smiled down to me.

Alice got up and tugged me toward the bathroom, "Now, go look in the mirror!"