Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

September

Summary:
Bella's 18th birthday party from Jasper's point of view.... ON HIATUS....


Notes:
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, and neither are the books, Twilight and New Moon. They are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Some of the dialogue will seem familiar and a few lines due to the fact that I borrowed it from Chapter 1 of New Moon. Well this is my first fan fiction, ever, so be brutal if you must. Criticism is always welcome. In some ways it was hard to write from Jasper's POV because you don't really see much of him, especially in New Moon. I'm not sure if this will be a one-shot or not, I think it might. Though you can help me decide if you like....


9. Sharing Isn't Caring, It's Something Else

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1328   Review this Chapter

I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was so worried about Alice and Bella. I really hoped Alice would get there in time, but I knew she wouldn’t. Alice left too late to make it to Forks by the time Bella jumps, but still, I was hoping. It was a fool’s hope, it was hope nonetheless.

I told Emmett and Rosalie not to contact Edward, and if by some miracle he called here, not to tell him what happened and what’s happening at the moment. They agreed, but Rosalie felt that we should tell him. I would need to keep a close eye on her; Rose likes to do her own thing without listening to others.

I was waiting for Carlisle and Esme to return from their hunting trip so I could tell them the news. I didn’t even want to imagine how Esme would take this. She would be heartbroken. It’s one thing to lose Bella by leaving her behind, but it’s another to lose her to death, and not in old age either. No, because she killed herself and it’s our fault, my fault. If I hadn’t lost control and taken a snap at her at her eighteenth birthday party, none of this would have ever happened.

We would have never left. Edward wouldn’t have broken her heart. She would have been happy. She wouldn’t have wanted to kill herself. She would have stayed alive. Right now, she and Edward would be lying in his room, holding each other in a loving embrace.

I dropped my head into my hands. How would Charlie take it? Alice is right, it would kill him to know that his only daughter had committed suicide. He won’t know the reason, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be that hard to guess at.

I sat on the living room couch all day staring at the wall, thinking. I was so tired of thinking. It hurt too much and time seemed to pass by so slowly, as if on purpose.

I watched as the sun set and the moon became visible. I couldn’t find anything to do with myself. Emmett and Rose were in another part of the house, doing something I didn’t know about. If it was the usual, then I was perfectly content about being in the dark and knowing nothing about their…activities.

I knew that Carlisle and Esme were due back in the early morning. Unfortunately, I would have to be the one to break the news and break their hearts. If anything went really bad, I would be able to spread a wave of calm throughout the house.

It was two hours after sunrise, a little over twenty-four hours after Alice’s departure, when Carlisle and Esme walked through the front door. Their eyes were a bright topaz and they were smiling at each other, happy to be with one another, not to mention satisfied with the hunt.

“Hello, Jasper.” Esme looked at me and I nodded in response. I couldn’t smile, it would be forced and look more like a grimace instead.

Both Carlisle’s and Esme’s smile faltered a little, the light leaving their eyes. I really didn’t want to tell them where Alice was and why she was there, but they had I right to know. I knew I had to tell them, it’s not something one can keep hidden, nor should it be.

I sighed and motioned for them to sit down on the couch. They obliged, and looked at me expectantly. The time had come to tell my parents.

I took a deep a breath. “Carlisle, Esme…there’s something you should know.” They nodded for me to continue. “Alice is in Forks.”

“Why is she there?” Carlisle asked. “We had promised Edward we would stay away from that small town and their inhabitants.” Esme’s eyes filled with sorrow.

“I know. What I have to tell you isn’t easy.”

“What’s happened?” Esme demanded. How do I break this to them gently? That’s just it, I can’t. It’s impossible.

“There’s no easy way to tell you or soften the blow, and I’m so sorry for that.” I could feel my own grief welling up but I had to suppress it. “Bella’s dead,” I whispered quietly.

Carlisle’s eyes widened and Esme gasped. “How do you know?”

“Alice had a vision early last morning.”

“How?” Esme questioned quietly. I knew what she meant without having to ask for clarification.

“Alice saw her jump…off a cliff…at La Push,” I answered her, almost inaudibly. “Alice waited in the vision for Bella to reappear, but she never surfaced.”

Esme’s hands flew to her mouth to keep her gasp concealed, while Carlisle murmured a soft “no”. Esme began to sob tearlessly, trying to keep her cries in, but not being very successful. Carlisle enfolded his wife in his arms, trying to comfort the both of them.

I knew comfort was no where to be found. After all, they had lost a daughter for all eternity. God only knows what Edward will do when he does finally learn of her death.

“When…when did she…jump?” Carlisle asked.

“Sometime yesterday afternoon.” I took a deep breath. “Alice left half an hour after her vision, while you were hunting, so we couldn’t contact you.” I paused, feeling the sense of loss Carlisle and Esme were experiencing. “She wasn’t going to make it in time, even if she drove without stopping, which I’m sure she did. There wasn’t enough time. The vision came too late.”

They both knew that I was right. No matter how much I hoped my words were false, and a lie, I knew Alice never made it in time. I would lose my brother soon, having already lost my sister. Alice would most likely never smile again. I closed my eyes in frustration. Everything is all wrong!

Carlisle spoke up again. “Does Edward know?”

I shook my head. “Alice told me not to call him. He won’t take it well at all. There’s no telling what he’ll do.”

“You’re right, Jasper. We’ll have to tell him to come back and then inform him in person. We’ll need to watch him and make sure he’s okay.”

“Okay? But he won’t be okay, Carlisle. The love of his life will be dead. Alice said she jumped because of Edward,” I whispered. “Because she felt alone and hurt. He’ll blame himself for the rest of eternity.”

“It won’t be easy, but we need to help him through it.”

“I don’t think he’ll get through her death,” Esme sobbed, “when he could barely get through leaving her alive!”

“I agree,” I said. Carlisle nodded his head in defeat. “Don’t call Edward. If he calls here, don’t tell him,” I instructed. “Rosalie and Emmett already know this. They’re upstairs in their room right now.” I sighed. “All we can do now is wait for Alice to call. That’s all that’s left, really.”

Carlisle and Esme nodded. “I suppose we’ll go upstairs as well then,” he told me. I nodded in response, lowering my eyes to the ground. “Call up if you need anything.”

He held Esme in his arms, supporting most of her weight. With my eyes, I followed their slow movements up the stairs and into their room. As soon as I heard their door close, I feel onto the couch, letting my head rest in my hands.

I knew Carlisle and Esme were grieving, trying to comfort one another. Even if Carlisle kept his calm, composed façade, I knew what he was really feeling. Behind that mask lay his true face, something he can’t let loose at the moment because he’s the head of the family and needs to support everyone.

I couldn’t afford to fall apart either. Alice wasn’t here, not to mention the fact that I had to keep my own emotions in control, as well as everyone else’s.

I looked at the clock and it read 5:02 pm. I had been sitting here, lost in thought, for hours. Alice should be in Forks by now, but a day after Bella plummeted to her death. She should be with Charlie now, helping to plan for my little sister’s funeral.