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Bella's Wedding Day

Summary:
Bella's big day has finally arrived. BUT what happens when an old friend comes to wish her good luck? WARNING...if you don't like Jacob, you won't like my story. :)


Notes:
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rocks! The people are hers...not mine.


5. Chapter 5 - All or Nothing

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1563   Review this Chapter

Chapter 5 - All or nothing

Bella POV

A sickening scream erupted from downstairs and shattered the moment I was having with Jacob. The scream I knew meant we were soon going to have company. “Hurry! We won’t be alone for long!” I jumped up and scrambled to get my appearance put back together.

I reached up and touched my hair where the veil had once been. I could feel that my tiara was sitting crooked on my head. I looked in the mirror and realized I was a mess. My mascara had run from all the crying. What was left of my lipstick was smudged. I hurriedly tried to fix myself by rubbing my fingers frantically at the black under my eyes and the red around my lips.

My eyes felt as big as dinner plates when they met Jacob's. He smiled, winked and kicked my veil under the chair. I turned, looking into the mirror one last time as the door opened.

“Bella, are you okay?” Alice shouted.

When I turned around I realized Jacob was sitting on the couch at least he looked like nothing had happened. I didn’t look too bad. I hoped. Certainly not as put together as Alice had left me, but not as bad as a minute ago.

“Yes.” I tried to sound innocent.

She looked from me to Jacob and her glare bore holes through him. “Edward,” she said quietly. I knew only the vampires in the house would hear her. I also knew that this was going to get very bad, very fast. My heart started banging against my chest. Alice turned without another word and left.

Edward appeared in the doorway almost as soon as Alice had left. He took in my appearance and looked at Jacob. “What did you do to her?” he snarled. Of course he would blame Jacob.

“It’s not him, Edward.” I whispered so quietly I could barely hear myself but I knew he had heard me. “It’s my fault.”

“Bella?” Edward looked sick. I felt sick. I took my eyes off of Edward's face and turned toward Jacob.

“Jacob, will you excuse us please?” I said as he was already starting to stand. He always seemed to know what I was thinking.

“Just let me know if you need me.” Jacob’s voice was quiet, calm and reassuring.

“She won’t need you, dog!” Edward growled. Jacob didn’t react. His eyes remained locked on mine.

“Edward!” I snapped at him, returning my eyes to his face. “This is not his fault.”

Jacob left the room without another word. He turned just before he closed the door and mouthed “I love you”. I smiled weakly at him.

As the door clicked, Edward let loose the intensity of his furious gaze. His eyes had never been a darker shade of onyx. “What’s going on here, Bella?”

My tears started. I hated that my tear ducts were tied to my emotions.

He waited, staring at me.

Finally he continued, “Do you still want to marry me?” His voice was calm, too calm. His face emotionless.

“I don’t know” I sighed. It sounded pathetic even to me.

“You don’t know?” he roared, losing his composure momentarily. He took a deep breath and turned his back on me and said something softly. I couldn’t be sure but I think he was calling Carlisle. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

Myemotions overtook me as my tears turned into sobs. I walked to the couch and sat down burying my face in my hands. Again, I’d made a mess of everything. I’m TOXIC! I yelled at myself.

Seconds later, Carlisle was standing at the door with pain evident on his face. All the Cullens knew what had happened here. There was no doubt of that now. I worried for Jacob’s safety. Surely they wouldn’t do anything with so many witnesses.

“What can I do, Edward?” Carlisle inquired. He did not to look at me.

“This is not going to happen today.” Edward’s voice was low and distraught as he spoke. “Please send everyone away.” He dropped to his knees with his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” I whimpered. Carlisle raised his hand in my direction without looking at me and walked out of the room. “Edward?” I stood and took a step toward him. He raised his hand.

“Please don’t come any closer” he warned.

“I really am sorry. I did not expect things to end this way.”

“I know.” He looked at me. “Please,” he said as he stood. “I have to hear what happened from you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said through the tears.

“Shall I just ask the dog?” he spat.

“Edward, please.” I sniffed. “That will not make anything better.” I had managed to compose myself enough to talk to him.

“I’m not stupid, Bella. I know what happened here. Look at you!” he yelled, closing his eyes in misery. I dropped my head and without thinking ran my fingers across my lips.

He again took a deep breath to regain control. “You and I both know what happened in this room just now. I want to hear it from your lips.” He paused. “Please,” he hissed.

“Okay.” I would tell him most of it. “I was all ready, standing here waiting for Charlie to come. For the ceremony to begin. There was a knock at the door. I thought it was Charlie. It wasn’t. It was Jacob.” He was listening quietly. I continued, “As soon as I saw him, I questioned everything. All the decisions I’ve made.” I hesitated. “Edward, I...” I stopped. His eyes pleaded with me to continue. “I still love him.”

“I know.” His response surprised me. I was sure he had known but to hear him confirm that knowledge was a shock to me.

“I’m sorry,” I said again. He nodded. “I cannot marry you until I can be sure that I can give you my whole heart.”

“I only want your whole heart, Bella.” He looked at his hands. “I’ve told you before, I am a selfish creature. I am not willing to share you. Not with him. Not with anyone.”

“Oh” was all I could squeak out. I wondered if he was just doing that whole being noble thing, making things easier for me. I tried to scrutinize his face but of course, it revealed nothing.

“I will give you time,” he paused, if you want it. As much time as you need. But in the end, I want it all. All or nothing.” He turned toward the door. “I’ll send Charlie in. I think that’d be best.”

“Yes, I will leave immediately.” I said as he walked out the door.

He opened the door and stopped. “I’ll stay away. I don’t want to cloud your decision. Let me know when you’ve made your choice.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered as he exited, closing the door behind him. Huge sobs escaped my body as I started gathering my things.

I tugged at the tiara. It hurt as the hair it was connected to struggled to release it. I deserve that. Once it was free I placed it into its blue velvet box.

I gathered the jeans and t-shirt I’d come in. It was definitely not what I thought I’d be leaving in today.

The door opened again.

“Bella, honey, what’s happened?” Charlie sounded really concerned. I was pretty sure that he knew what happened but didn’t know what else to say.

“Oh, Dad.” He crossed the room and took my hand. He lead me to the couch and sat down next to me. “This is such a disaster!” I sobbed.

“It will be okay, Bells.”

“Where’s Jacob?” My stomach tightened as I worried that he'd be okay getting out of a house full of angry vampires. Vampires that blamed him instead of me.

“He went home with Billy.”

I nodded.

“Bella? What happened today?”

“Why would you invite Billy?” My voice sounded more harsh than I intended so I tried to manage a smile.

He smiled back weakly. “I didn’t." My eyes went wide and I felt my mouth drop open. He went on, "I knew you didn’t want me to say anything so I didn’t. I was floored when he showed up today. Billy said Edward had sent them an invitation.”

”What?” I was really confused now. Why would Edward send Jacob an invitation to our wedding? Was he gloating? Did he know this would happen? This was so bizarre. “Dad, I need to go home.”

“Sure thing, kid. Get changed and we’ll go.”

“Can you get my zipper please?”

He smiled. “Turn around.” As soon as the zipper was down Charlie headed for the door.

I quietly changed my clothes and gathered my things. I laid the beautiful engagement ring on the table next to the box containing thetiara and picked up my bracelet. I debated whether or not to leave Edward’s charm -- but I didn’t want to hurt him anymore than I already had today. I’d give it back later. I picked up a pen and simply scribbled “Sorry” on a piece of paper and placed it under Elizabeth Masen’s ring.

As I left the room the house seemed deserted, disturbingly quiet. I knew the Cullens were here somewhere but I was not going to go looking for them. Charlie took my hand at the bottom of the stairs and we walked toward the door. Tears were still streaming down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry” I whispered quietly before Charlie shut the door behind us.

I wondered if I would ever be welcome here again.