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Loving Again

Summary:
"I thought I loved him, but he had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is." Edward never comes back and Bella is left alone in Forks. 10 years later vampire Bella meets Edward again in a small classroom in the middle of nowhere. But there's a little catch... Bella has changed, internally and externally. She is no longer the self-sacrificing, clumsy girl Edward fell in love with. She goes by the name Anna. This time Bella- no Anna- has a secret, but what happens when the truth is revealed?  Banner by the absolutely amazing Vatina!


Notes:


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1541   Review this Chapter

The kiss was long and heavy, awakening a sensation I thought long extinct. His arms pulled me closer to him, and that was all I wanted to do, to be near to him after being away for so long. I finally found him again, but this time I wasn’t searching. He didn’t know…there was so much he didn’t know. Familiar guilt rose in me, making my head burst. I pulled away from him, and his sigh ran through my ears.

“Don’t you love me?” he asked, his voice cracking. I looked away from him, unwilling to let him see my face, since all my emotions would be laid right across it. I could hear the shuffle of his jeans as he turned away from me, walking a few paces in the opposite direction.

You don’t love me,” I stated, knowing that if I was human, tears would be pooling down my cheeks. He loved another, someone he lost. I knew exactly who that was, due to him describing her in great detail. He described her as if she was a goddess. He told me why he left her, why he let her wither away and die in the small town she banished herself to. He told me how heart broken he was when her future disappeared and how his family had to restrain him when he tried to end his existence. He didn’t love me, he loved her. And she was dead, in a way. But she was coming back, and I was scared to see her return to the surface with all the feelings and emotions I tried to keep buried.

“Why do you say that?” he asked, frustration evident in his voice. But I loved him. I thought I could never forgive him, never let him hurt me again. But I knew it was all a lie the moment I saw him in that class room, his bronze hair in its casual disarray and his liquid topaz eyes gleaming. I remembered the way my dead heart leaped out of my chest when I saw him for the first time in years. I thought I was going to let him go, let him live his life like I was trying to live mine. But then…I couldn’t help myself. I wanted him. All I ever wanted was him.

“Because I’m not Bella,” I whispered. Even though her emotions were taking me over, I had changed. I wasn’t the carefree, cautious girl who he fell in love with. I was the gloomy, risk taking woman who he thought he loved. I knew why he left her. I knew exactly why, now. He didn’t want to hurt her, didn’t want to damn her. His efforts were in vain in the end, but his heart was in the right place, even if his body wasn’t. How could I be angry at him when he only wanted what was best for me?

There she was again! Her thoughts, her feelings, invading me, taking me over. My body was different, my mind was different, she should be gone. I wasn’t Bella anymore, I was…I didn’t know who I was. I tried not to fall in love with him again. I tried desperately. But he had a hold on me. A hold that could never be broken.

“Anna,” he whispered, grief overwhelming him. “I’m sorry.” He turned away from me, preparing to run out of my life, away from me. My heart was already breaking again, the hole was carving it’s self out. I wasn’t going to be able to keep myself together this time. I was certain of that. I thought I was strong, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. Because I was Bella. I was that clumsy, average girl who fell in love with a vampire. I was that girl who only wanted what was best for other people. I was that girl who threw caution into the wind when it came to her own safety. I was the girl that fell in love with Edward Cullen, and I was the girl who was broken by him. And there was no way I was going to let him slip through my fingers again.

“No,” I yelled, my discovery fueling my words. I wasn’t going to let him go again. I wasn’t going to let him pry himself out of my life. “I do love you,” I said, his smile almost dislodging it’s self from his face. “But I don’t think you will love me after I tell you…everything.”

*

He left me in those woods, promising to stay out of my life. Never to return. He thought I was going to be safe without any vampires in my life. Ha, but he forgot one thing, though. He forgot that I was a danger magnet, attracting every form of danger in a thousand mile radius. That was probably how Victoria found me, the huge red target sign floating above me screaming ‘Attack here! Attack here!’. And that’s what she did. Attack me, torture me, bite me. I woke up in a small room after days of pain, a pile of ashes in the corner. It took me a split second to realize who the ashes belonged to. Victoria… I looked at my hands and saw the pale rock they have become. I looked at my surroundings, recognizing them at once. It was the house I used to seek refuge in, the house I visited when the pain was too much to bear. The musky smell hit my nose then, making me crinkle my nose in distaste. It was the smell of them. The werewolves. My pack. The door slammed open then, a large figure squeezing in the doorway.

“Run, Bella!” it commanded. I recognized him as Jake, my Jake. He had a look of pure panic on his face, his hands blistering warm as he grabbed my wrists. The difference of out temperatures didn’t seem to faze him, though. “Run,” he yelled again. I then heard footsteps leading up the stairs. “I don’t know what they’ll do, but you just have to run before they find you…like this.” I nodded, opening the small window.

“Jake,” I croaked, my voice sounding very normal…not like the velvet I was used to. He turned his back on me and locked his door, even though that would add little resistance. I wiped a non-existent tear from my face and leaped out the window, my hair flying in the breeze. I didn’t look back, I couldn’t, because I would see everything I would have lost. Everything.

*

I wasn’t extraordinary. I was stunning, yes, but not like he was. My voice was sweet, but it was too much like my old one, the human one. My brown hair shined, but it was the same color and length as my human hair. My facial features were perfect, but the same. I looked like Bella. No one wouldn’t be able to recognize me. But then I found out how to change that. I could ‘steal’ vampire powers. If I concentrated hard enough, I could take any vampire power as my own. It was very handy, especially when I came across a vampire that could change his appearance.

I was walking down the sidewalk, my hair black and my facial features slightly altered. I applied makeup, masking any remaining evidence of Bella Swan. I didn’t want to be her. I didn’t want to live with the heart break she faced.

I rounded the corner, the school approaching. I looked up at it and sighed, it was like my personal prison, but I needed to feel like I belonged somewhere, even if that wasn’t actually the case. I was tired of being lonely, and school was a fantastic way to surround myself with people. But it was more of a chore now, something to waste my time on. I didn’t have a family, or any friends. But I needed company. Any company.

But I didn’t expect him. I didn’t expect him to be sitting at my table, his topaz eyes sad and perfect. I didn’t expect the wave of emotion to take me over. I wasn’t ready for any of it.

I introduced myself as Anna. That was what I went by. He seemed to buy it, not even considering that I may have been lying to him. I kept the conversation light, trying not to get too close. But I was drawn to him like a fly to an unusually light lantern. I met his family, my family. The one that should have been mine. They all seemed to like me, even Rosalie. Alice especially. She treated me like a long lost friend. I was curious to know if she knew who I was, but she didn’t, none of them did. I didn’t like that for some reason. Not at all.

He loved Anna. He loved Bella. He loved me. But he didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know any of it. So I was going to have to tell him. I had to. Because I loved him. I wanted to be with him. And he had to know that when he fell in love with Anna, he fell in love with Bella all over again. He had to know that a lost love could return…and that she did.