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Loving Again

Summary:
"I thought I loved him, but he had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is." Edward never comes back and Bella is left alone in Forks. 10 years later vampire Bella meets Edward again in a small classroom in the middle of nowhere. But there's a little catch... Bella has changed, internally and externally. She is no longer the self-sacrificing, clumsy girl Edward fell in love with. She goes by the name Anna. This time Bella- no Anna- has a secret, but what happens when the truth is revealed?  Banner by the absolutely amazing Vatina!


Notes:


2. The Horrible Truth

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1404   Review this Chapter

“What do you mean, Anna?” he asked, his voice laden with curiosity and nervousness. I stood with my back to him; I didn’t want him to see the guilt stricken expression I possessed. There was a light breeze, sending my hair into a halo around my head. I could imagine his bronze hair ruffling, some landing in front of his golden eyes. The sudden breeze calmed down, and all was silent, neither of us wanting to frighten the other with any sudden movements, as if we would both disappear at the slightest sound. “Anna?” Edward asked again, this time more urgent. I squeezed my eyes shut, balling my hands into fists, preparing me for what I was going to do.

“No,” I whispered, my voice already cracking. “No, not Anna…” I couldn’t get the words out. I knew exactly what I was going to say, but the thought of his imminent reaction sent unnatural chills down my spine. He looked at me questionably, but his brow was furrowed, giving away his anxiety. “I’m not…Anna,” I managed to choke out, throwing a cautious glance in his direction. What I saw there scared me. I back away from his withering glare.

“What did you do to her?” he boomed, his eyes an alarming molten gold. I cowered in surprise, I didn’t expect that reaction. He took a threatening step forward, and I swore that I felt a terrified heartbeat pound my ribcage. “Where is she?” he yelled again, terror and fury plastered on his face. I held my hands up, the only defense I could muster.

“She never existed, well she did at one time but she’s gone,” I stammered, hoping he would understand. But one look at his face told me he had no clue what I just said. A deep growl echoed from his throat. I stared at him in horror.

“What do you mean she never existed?” Edward asked, his voice shaking with rage. He took another step forward. “I swear, If you did anything to her-” he started to threaten, and I knew right then I had to stop him before he got out of control.

“Stop, Edward!” I commanded. I looked at him, trying to see if he was going to take another looming step forward or not. He was still seething, but something about the tone of my voice made him stop in his step. He looked at me, his eyes full of fright, pain and confusion. I took in another ragged breath before continuing. “It’s not what you think,” I whispered. He seemed to snap out of his daze then. He shook his head and continued to glare at me. I saw his fists shaking.

“Where’s Anna?” he demanded again, impatient. My patience shattered then, along with any civility I had left. There was no getting through to the guy! If he only let me speak!

“Anna is gone!” I screamed. “She was never really there! She picked up what was left of her pitiful existence and left!” My eyes snapped towards Edward, eyeing his reaction. I saw the question in his eyes before he voiced it out loud. “She’s never coming back,” I said. “I can’t tell you where she went because I don’t even know myself.” My chest was heaving and I had trouble controlling myself. I was starting to think that Edward wouldn’t forgive me when he learned the truth.

“Why did she leave?” Edward asked, his voice pained. He then narrowed his eyes. “And if she did really leave why do you look exactly like her?” he snapped. Now how was going to explain that? I looked at him, my gaze tortured.

“She left because someone else took her place,” I explained. I saw Edward starting to get angry again, but I held up a hand, telling him to not interrupt me. “You wanted to know why I look like Anna,” I confirmed, my voice hoarse. Edward nodded slowly. I close my eyes and took another deep breath. It was too hard, telling him the truth. I didn’t want to face his reaction. I didn’t want to even think about it. All I knew is that if he left again… I wouldn’t be able to survive. And that’s why I had to go through with this. There was no turning back now, I had to tell him, or loose him forever. “It’s because I am, was, her,” I said, my voice suddenly confident. Edward blinked a few times, still not comprehending.

“I don’t…understand,” Edward choked, rubbing his temple. Another shudder ran through me. There’s a lot you don’t understand

“You told me I reminded you of Bella,” I remembered. He nodded slowly, weary of me. I turned away from him and coughed lightly, ridding my throat of Anna’s voice. I turned towards him again, my face shifting back to its original form. I saw Edward’s eyes widen.

“Who are you?” he blurted out. I wiped away the remainder of my makeup, revealing my identity entirely to him. His face was paralyzed in shock, his mouth hanging open. All the air rushed out of him and he grabbed his head, swallowing repeatedly. “If this is some sort of sick joke…” Edward growled, glaring at me again. His eyes narrowed, as if he thought I was just some random vampire playing a trick on him. It took me a minute to realize it, but that’s exactly what Edward thought.

“No, Edward! I’m Bella!” I screamed, feeling like at any moment I would burst into tears.

“And how can I believe you after you lied to me?” Edward demanded. I took another unnecessary breath and closed my eyes. I had no idea what I could say to him to make him believe me. What could I say to right this? I lied to him countless times over the past few months. Telling him I was Anna, but I didn’t know I would fall in love with him again. I didn’t know that the feelings, and the person, I was trying to keep buried would rise up from the dead. I thought I was lifeless inside, but Edward reawakened me, and I did the same to him. How could I prove to him the feelings I have felt for more then a decade? I thought that I loved him more then anything ten years ago, but now…it’s up to a whole new level.

“When a love leaves you,” I started, shaking all over. “You think all hope his lost. You’re sun, your life force has disappeared, leaving you to wander aimlessly, alone.” I could see Edward staring at the ground, lost in thought. “It was like my reason to live vanished, the only thing that kept me going was the thought of you being out there…somewhere. But I never thought that I would ever see you again. Imagine the start I got when I saw you sitting in the classroom!” I said, trying to lighten the mood. He didn’t smirk, flinch, or even move. He just stood there…staring at the dirt. “But even when all hope his lost,” I continued quickly. “Your reason to live- your sun- can come back to you.” I walked over to him and took his hand in mine. He stared at it, but didn’t move to yank it away. “And my sun did return,” I whispered.. “I remember when you revealed your true identity to me,” I whispered, lost in thought. “It was our first date, we just left…,” I tried to remember the name of the restaurant, but it was lost to me. “We were in the car,” I said, moving on. “We made it hypothetical. I told you my theories and you told me if they were right or wrong. It was right then, when I found out you were a vampire, that I realized that I loved you.” I looked at his face, then, seeing if he believed me or not. But what I saw there made me stumble backwards. His jaw was set strait and clenched, his lips quivering

He looked pained, furious, sad…I couldn’t recognize the other expression in his eyes. He breathed deeply, as if trying to will himself to speak. “Bella, how could you?” he finally said, softly, his voice shaking. I looked at him, not knowing how to respond. Even I didn’t know the answer to that.

"I thought I loved him, but he had to break my heart for me to know what true love really is."