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Heaven

Summary:
Edward and Bella contemplate on the theory of afterlife.


Notes:
Inspired by some song - I forgot which one. :/


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1263   Review this Chapter

Heaven

Heaven.

It’s a rather relative term to use, don’t you think?

Heaven to someone may be, well, heaven. But to others; a source of nightmare, a form of purgatory in itself. They say heaven is a place only for the good and not the evil. But, in the first place, what exactly defines good and evil?

See, it is all relative.

Are we good just because we helped an old lady carry her shopping bags? Or what if we donated a million dollars to charity, and murdered someone the next day, would we still be counted as good and get sent to heaven? Or what if we made some mistake, and spent the rest of our life doing good, would we still be condemned? Or maybe, just maybe, we got bitten by a vampire because we were about to die and that was the only thing that would save us, would that, being not our fault at all, condemn us as sinned men and damn us to an eternity in the depths of hell?

Is it wrong to be saved from the claws of Death – not even by your own choice, mind you – only to find that to survive now, you must live on the blood of living things? What if instead of drinking from humans, you defied and drank from animals instead, choosing to sacrifice your comfort and suffer with the overwhelming craving to satisfy your thirst for human blood – was that being evil? And most importantly of all, would that be a good enough reason to be damned to hell?

This was the conversation Edward and I had once in a while. Usually, he would be in his gloomy and sulky mood, and when I ask him what was wrong he would just shrug and keep silent. He always tries to hide this sort of things from me, but ‘tries’ being the cooperative word here – somehow, I can always tell.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask. We were lying in each other’s arms, watching the stars as they twinkle in the sea of darkness. The moon was bright that night, a glowing orb, its incandescence reflected onto our dark silhouettes lying on the grass. This was something we did quite often since he changed me, seeing that I no longer had the need to sleep.

Just as I predicted, he just shrugged.

I sighed, propped myself on one elbow and turned to face him. “Are you thinking about your theory on our afterlife again?” As I eyed him for a moment, he looked a little frustrated that I could know what he was thinking without even having to ask him, then his mouth settled into a little quirk.

“You know me too well, Bella.” Edward sounded as if he was unsure to be amused or frustrated with me for knowing his thoughts so easily. “It’s so funny. I can read every mind in the world; except for the mind of the woman I love most. If there are gods, I bet they are laughing at this somewhere.”

I frowned at him. “I don’t know if there are really gods, but what I do know is that we have been lucky enough to have met each other – now, don’t you think what counts for something?” Smiling now, I placed a loving kiss on his lips, trying to bring him out of his melancholic mood yet again.

“Certainly it counts for something – it counts a lot,” he agreed. “But look where it has gotten us?” His eyes shone with ancient sadness, glowing luminously in the night and yet, having the aura of grief emanating from his beautiful golden orbs.

What did he mean by that? Forcing myself not to jump to conclusions, I voiced my thoughts out loud.

He looked away, silent for a few moments before looking at me sadly. “I have subjected you to a life like this, with no way of gaining salvation.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Edward,” I snapped, my temper getting the better of me. Usually, I was a very calm person, but all these moping and feeling guilty had to stop. At least he knew better than to mention the ‘condemned’ word, instead, replacing it with ‘subjected’. Sneaky. I cupped his face with my hands and looked into his eyes. “You are my salvation. Without you, I’d be dead long ago because I got run over by a car – I’d be six feet under, rotting in wood, in a cemetery with another thousand rotting corpses. And even if I did somehow manage to miraculously survive, I would be nothing without you – just a shell, an empty husk of what I am now, more dead than alive. And if that happens, I would rather be dead than a lifeless walking zombie.”

I took a deep breath and prepared to carry on my tirade when he cut in sulkily. “I think you stole my lines.”

“And as for your concept on heaven, heaven would not be heaven without you, Edward. If it ever came down to it, I would rather rot in hell with you for eternity than be in heaven alone. You are the reason I am truly alive, Edward.” I smiled tentatively, to see if it worked. It did. He smiled back, though a touch of sadness still lingered in his eyes. “I love you, Edward.”

At that, his golden eyes immediately softened, becoming like a magical swirl of glittering fairy dust and he smiled my favourite crooked smile, which needless to say, would have my dead heart pounding out of my chest had I been alive.

“I love you too, Bella.” He pulled me back into his inviting arms and I snuggled against him, resting my cheek on his chest. “You know, there isn’t a cemetery that can hold thousands of dead – not that I know of, at least. Most I heard of is a few hundreds…”

Scowling, I rolled my eyes at him. “I was just emphasising my point, Edward.” When he laughed melodiously again, I swatted at him half-heartedly, glad that he was not upset anymore.

“Hmm… rotting in hell together… I have to admit, it sounds rather interesting, but I’d prefer it not taking place at all, of course.” Edward laughed, his arm wrapped around my waist and hand entwined with mine.

“Of course,” I nodded. “It probably won’t happen – even if it does, it’s going to be an extremely long time for now.” I was glad he was talking about this so lightheartedly. It was not often he’d talk about things like that and laugh. Hopefully, I had finally managed to convince him.

“It won’t happen,” he assured me. “I will never let it.” Something gently touched my head – his lips? – and I wrapped my leg around his own as he drew me closer. He smelt the same, and yet, it never ceased to intoxicate me every time. After I was changed, I was afraid his scent would go away, but it stayed the same, which suited me just fine.

Edward slowly kissed my forehead, then my cheeks, my nose, and lastly, he brushed his soft lips against mine ever so slightly. His hand let go of my waist to cup my neck as he slowly kissed my jaw and moved slowly down my neck and onto my collarbone, all the while his movements painfully slow. By this time, I had already forgotten to breathe.

I was right. Heaven was indeed relative.

In Edward’s arms, I was already in heaven.