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My Life before you

Summary:
(previously titled: that's so gay...) Edward's life before his beautiful Bella, how did it feel to grow up, without really growing up? Chapter 5 is finally up!


Notes:
this is a bit of Edward's life before Bellakins came to town!


4. Anxiousness?

Rating 4/5   Word Count 1007   Review this Chapter

There was a slight breeze through my meadow today, and the sun was shining along with the sparkles on my skin. I took off my shirt and walked slowly to the middle of the clearing, laying down and soaking in the pure warmth.

Very few times did the sun shine in Forks, Washington, and when it did, I came here, away from everyone else. I loved having the alone time in my mind; it was so peaceful, and without the constant chatter of others’ thoughts.

While laying down, I closed my eyes and took deep exhilarating breaths. My skin was as cold as an ice cube, yet when the sun came, it gave me endearing warmth that I loved. Although, on second thought, it wasn’t quite as enjoyable as the warmth of a human.

Ever since I came back from the mall yesterday, Alice kept giving me sly grins and cutesy winks in occurrence to what had occurred with Vanessa.

Vanessa Frank. 712-234-6754. I had memorized her number, yet I had not dialed it. I was still pondering on why this girl had caught my attention after the other hundreds that showed emotion for me. Why did I keep remembering her laugh and the way her black hair was messily arranged into a pile on her head? I couldn’t stop thinking about the warmth her handshake had provided me.

I let out a soft groan, crossing my arms and determinedly thought about something else. In a couple more minutes, I found myself softly singing “I will follow you into the dark” by death cab for cutie. I had listened to the same album over and over again until Rosalie came in my room and told me to stop being so Goth.

I felt my cell phone vibrate and I held it up to my ear, knowing who it probably was.

“Edward! Why haven’t you done it yet?” Alice whined on the other line. I sighed; I was correct in my assumption.

“Done what, Alice?” I asked irritably.

“Called Vanessa! You have to, she was perfect!”

“Perfect for what?” I asked, now confused.

“Duh, for you to go out with!”

I was silent for a full minute.

“Edward? Are you still there?”

“Yes Alice, I’m here…and may I ask, are you insane?”

“Last time I checked, no...”

“Then why would you say that about a human? And me? What are you thinking?!”

“I’m thinking that you need someone to be with. You’re always alone and you never have fun, and maybe someone outside of our family can help with that!”

“Alice,” I felt a growl build up in my chest, “do you know what happened the last time someone showed interest for romanticizing me? Yes, I will never look at Tanya the same way again.”

I shuddered remembering the awful toll my innocence had taken in those short hours endured with my family friend Tanya of the Denali Coven.

“Well, she was a bit…over the top, but I’m sure Vanessa is much better. She seemed shy and had a great interest in music, just like you! You two would be so adorable together!”

“Thanks, but no thanks, Alice. I don’t want to look adorable with anyone!”

“FINE! You know what? You’re just a shy, reserved, virgin loser! And you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life!!” She yelled. I found myself listening the dial tone, realizing she hung up.

I knew she was just worrying needlessly about me and that it would take her a few minutes to calm down, maybe only a few seconds if Jasper was with her. All the same, the words she spoke threw me into a hideous fury and in a few more moments, I was running around my meadow, trying to pent off the anger.

Why oh WHY was I cursed with such HELPFUL family members? I thought sarcastically to myself, sitting down again. I couldn’t take it anymore, it was literally driving me insane. I flipped open my cell phone and dialed the number I never planned on dialing.

“Hello?” A soft voice spoke on the other line. I took a deep breath and felt an unfamiliar feeling in the pit of my stomach. Anticipation? Fear? Nausea? No, this was something new…anxiousness. I had never felt that before, not that I could remember…

“Is this Vanessa Frank?” I blurted out, before I could stop myself.

“Yeah…who is this?” She asked hesitantly.

“Um…Edward Cullen.” It sounded like more of a question than an answer.

“Edward…OH! Edward, death cab for cutie, right?”

“Yes…” I couldn’t think of anything else to say…that also had never happened to me before.

“So how did you like the CD?”

“It was great, thank you.”

“No problem. So…”

“Um…”

“Right, well, do you wanna go out for coffee sometime?” She asked. Was I imagining it, or was there a hopeful tone in her voice? Coffee…I hadn’t ever tasted coffee, not that I could now.

“Yes, I would actually. So…um…” I didn’t know how to ask. I’ve never asked out a girl before, was I supposed to set a time, a place? Or leave those details for her?

“I’m free tomorrow, if that’s ok for you?” I heard her ask. I smiled and the nervousness calmed down a bit.

“That’s perfect for me. Shall I meet you there?”

“Sure, the Herten’s on Huntington street has good coffee, if you’re into that whole Brazilian mixed with Italian thing.”

“Ah…that sounds good.” I had no idea what she was talking about. “Around 3 o’clock then?”

“Sounds great. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said.

“Right, see you tomorrow.”

“Bye Edward.”

“Bye Vanessa.” I said, and once again I was listening to the dial tone.

I sat there, staring at my phone, wondering what I had just done…I had complicated a human girl’s life, and my own. I had ruined her safety and the security of my family’s secret. But what bothered me the most was that I had no idea what to do now…and I felt that feeling again in the pit of my stomach. Anxiousness.

I was going out on a date for the first time in my life.