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Viva Las Vampire

The Cullens hit Vegas for Bella and Edward’s wedding, but wherever Bella goes, trouble is sure to follow… CSI Crossover, although, you don’t really need to watch the show obsessively or anything to understand. banner


7. Hypothetical

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1947   Review this Chapter

Chapter 7: Hypothetical

The cameras blind your eye
Here's the big surprise:
Flash never lasts
You've gotta pay your way back in

'Cause who you are, what you say
You're just a boy who's afraid of the dark
What you've got means shit to me
I'm not impressed by the dress
And the sex that you bought

Bright city lights
And big, big city nights
Here the hand that feeds you bites you dear
Fear not

- Pop-Punk Is Sooooo '05 Lyrics, Cobra Starship

“Alice, these shoes are insane!”

“Don’t be silly, Bella, they’re fabulous! I don’t know what you have against shoes…”

“Shoes are fine. Torture devices, however….”

“Shush. They’re perfect!”

“You can’t expect me to walk down the aisle in these!” That’s just what she wanted, to fall flat on her face on her wedding day. She could picture it: her clumsy self sprawled out in the middle of the chapel, the cursed shoes the highest part of her, swinging loosely on her still swaying feet.

“Oh, don’t worry you’ll have plenty of time to break them in.”

“When?” Bella asked, fearing Alice would force her to walk sets up and down the halls of the Bellagio. She didn’t need to have her friend’s powers to foresee blisters in her future.

Alice gave Bella and evil smile as she finished fastening the complicated straps of the white stilettos for her.

“Seriously?” Bella asked, rhetorically, before continuing. “Carlisle only had one invitation, I assumed just he and Esme would go.”

“Doctor Robbins knows Carlisle has a large family and the invite didn’t specify a guest limit.”

As Alice bounced off to find other footwear options in the gigantic store Bella contemplated her friend’s suggestion.

As far the Monte Carlo went; nothing clears a room faster than a murder, a serial murder even faster still. Furthermore, a section of the hotel was being cleared of guest so workers could get started at pumping out the water that had had free reign over said section around the crime scene. And even after the police were done with the floor, industrial fans would have to be brought in to dry the area in an attempt to salvage it.

This meant almost the entirety of the hotel’s guests were clearing out. And all the Cullens agreed, given their situation, that they should be among those guests.

On the question of where, Carlisle had then pulled out a mysterious envelope and proceeded to tell them about an invitation he’d received to join an old friend

Carlisle took the immediate action of booking four adjacent rooms at the Bellagio. Normally, getting preferred rooms wasn’t totally impossible with a hotel that size, but due to the fact that many of the Monte Carlo’s guests had fled to the other resorts on the strip, a little bribery was required.

The reason for choosing the Bellagio over the other resorts and upscale hotels was revealed when Carlisle confessed the contents of the mysterious white envelope he’d flourished before them after The Ham Experiment. The envelope contained, he explained, an invitation to his old friend’s, Doctor Robbin’s 50th wedding Anniversary.

And this party was the perfect opportunity, in Alice’s opinion, to break in some fierce high heels.

As that very shoe fiend now returned with three more boxes, Bella decided to take to take her first steps in the stilettos.

She wobbled like a foal taking it’s first steps, her knees quaking and her hands flailing as she tried to remain vertical at her newly attained height. She managed to move half a yard before she shifted her weight the wrong way and fall straight forward, feet dangling in the air above her.


"Oh, Bella, they’re perfect." Alice leaned forward to inspect the shoes, Bella pushed herself up onto her forearms.

"Yeah," she deadpanned, "let’s go with the shoes that I tripped in just four steps. They certainly are an improvment over the ones that took only three..."

"Oh, you’ll get use to them."

Bella groaned and slumped forward, letting her forehead rest against the carpeted floor.

"I’m doomed…."


They made it to their next stop in less than 15 minutes. Time to find a dress for the party. Bella contemplated feigning illness but sensed Alice would see right through her charade. She might as well grin and bear it, Alice at lease seemed to be having fun as she danced off into the maze of displays and tables of sweaters. Bella began to slowly pick though a rack of simple enough looking shirts. Hopefully she could find herself a decently priced shirt and skirt combination that would be formal enough to avoid some vicious complicated gown Alice would no doubt try and force her into.

She found an olive green blouse and held it up in front of her, she liked the style but a nearby mirror testified that the shade clashed with her skin tone.

“If you think you're buying that skirt, Maryann…” Bella heard a woman say in a raised voice.

“But Mom…all the girls are wearing them!” A shrill little voice wined.

“No, it’s WAY to short!”

“This is how you wear them! This isn’t back when you were young Mom, women are allowed to show their ankles these days!”

Bella slowly glided over to the formal wear section, away from the argument.

She eyed a selection of dress pants that were on the edge; slowly easing into a section devoted to business suits. Maybe she could maintain her balance better if she didn’t have to worry about a giant skirt billowing around her feet. Yes, pants were definitely less hazardous.

“Let’s just say hypothetically you were dating someone in the department.” A woman’s voice carried over to Bella’s ears from the otherside of a rack.

“Why…?” Another woman responded in a low voice

“Humor me.” The first woman paused for a moment. “And let’s just say, hypothetically, that you were dating someone from work. Would you go together?


Bella moseyed back over to the tops, maybe she could find a nice top to start with. She was careful to avoid anything sequins, she’d almost been blinded by a neon tube top in her last store, she couldn’t phantom why anyone would want to emulate a radioactive pylon. She began to flip through a collection of blue ones, Edward always said he liked blue…


“Ahhhhhhh!” Bella screamed as a mass of blue sequins flew out at her, she tripped over her own feet and landed on the ground.

"Bella!" Alice appeared out of nowhere and was at her side helping her up in a flash. "Are you okay!"

“Harold! HAROLD!” A woman in her mid thirties came running around the rack of clothes, an oversized green handbag swinging from her arm.

A little boy emerged from the rack of clothes, his mother plucked a heinous blue sweater off his face.

“Harold, there you are!”

“Mommy, I scare the lady!”

Alice gave Bella an amused look before dragging her future sister-in-law off to the dress section.

“I found some great options for the party!”

“I don’t know…” Bella drawled, desperately thinking of ways to avoid said party. “I think Edward and I were planning to just stay in tomorrow night.”

“This is Vegas.” Alice countered, they arrived at a scattered pile of dresses and she began to gather them a lightening speed. “No one stays in on a Saturday night.”

“Well we are getting married in a matter of days…” Bella trailed off and her eyes grew wide.

“Now, now, no worrying about that.” Alice had been witness to Bella’s steadily rising anxiety level as the wedding drew nearer.

“I’m getting married in two days, Alice!”

“I know.”

“I’m getting married in two days.” She said slowly as if realizing it for the first time.

“Yes you are.” Alice concurred calmly. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I just can’t believe my wedding’s in two days!” Bella dug her fingers into her hair and began to pace back and forth in the store. “With this whole murder spree I completely lost track of time! What am I going to do?”

“Don’t worry Bella, all you have to do is show up.” Alice reassured her. “I’ve got everything covered.”

“When?” Bella was shocked, “where was I?”


“Ah.” She quipped, nodding, and seeming to calm down.

“Now, come on,” She nodded towards the dressing rooms. “Let’s find you something to wear.”


The night had been a success. Alice had calmed Bella down and together they had tracked down a cocktail dress for Bella to wear. The dress was made of a soft cerulean material with a comfortable fitted bodice and a following skirt that fell to the knee.

After Alice had successfully forced several pairs of high heels into Bella’s possession they deemed it a successful day of shopping and caught a taxi back to the Bellagio.

When they got there, they stepped out of their taxi, bags in hand, to find another fountain water-show underway. Bella felt her feet get wet just looking at the fountain, remembering her impromptu sprint through the one in Volterra few months ago.

“How often do they have these things, Alice?” Bella asked, when she received no answer she turned around and found her immediate surroundings Cullen-less.

That was strange. Bella swore she was behind her a minute ago. She sat her shopping bags between her feet and fished out her cell. But before she could dial she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“Hello, stranger.”

She turned about to see Edward behind her, his radiant beauty and cool manner making him stand out among the jostling crowd surrounding them. His lips curved up into a mischievous grin as he approached her.

“Enjoying the show?” He asked.

“It’s alright, but fails to hold my interest.”

“I find that hard to believe, Miss.” He said with a mock-frowned. “How could anything seem more thrilling than a night out in Vegas?”

“I don’t know, everything seems rather tame compared to my fiancée.” She informed him in an artificially bored tone and pretended to stare at the water display as if it really was terribly dull.

“So someone’s snatched you up? Tell me about him. That is, if you don’t mind.”

“Well, he’s tall.” Bella said, bluntly, turning to face him.

Edward frowned. “Is that all?”

“Hmm….well, he gets grumpy when he’s hungry, he’s very stubborn and very dangerous.” She said whimsically, running a finger along the center and around the buttons of Edward’s shirt.

“Dangerous? That doesn’t sound good. Are you sure you want to marry him?”

Bella knew they were just teasing each other, but she thought she heard uncertainty lurking beneath her fiancée’s playful tone.

“Yes,” she said, firmly. “I know he thinks he’s dangerous, but I also know he’d never hurt me.”

“So if you’re going to soon run away with this dangerous being, then you better kiss me now.”

“Hmmmm…” She pretended to consider it for a moment. “I believe that can be arranged…”

Bella closed her eyes and waited, but nothing happened. After a few seconds, she popped one eye open, expecting to see Edward’s teasing grin. However, her Vampire lover was no where in sight. Blinking, she began to scan the crowd of tourists.

“Edward?” She yelled, trying to make her voice carry above the music and admiring crowd. “Edward?” She hoped this was just part of their little game, but he was nowhere to be found.

Bella began to fight her way through the thinking crowd towards the hotel, calling Edward’s name.


Edward was just about to kiss her, he really was. But it’s kind of hard to kiss someone with a bag over your head.

At least that’s what he thought was going on. Right, yes, he’d been leaning in the kiss Bella when everything had gone dark and something had been pulled over his head.

He wondered, for a few seconds, if he was being kidnapped by the Volturi and was instantly worried for Bella. But then he picked up on his captors’ scent and knew they were both safe.

But define “safe”. Because, as the night progressed Edward began to wish, rather, that he was being shanghaied by angry Italian vampires.