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It's not that simple. . .

Bella is finally going to become a vampire. Her dream come true. Now everything will be better, everything will be perfect. . . right? As usual, things are NEVER that simple. Bella learns the entire truth about being a vampire, good AND bad. (Dark/Romance/Horror/Family)


1. Chapter One: The Beginning

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1511   Review this Chapter

Vision. Gone.

Voice. Gone.

Screaming. Long gone. Like I would be able to even speak after two days of non-stop screaming. . .

Fire. Definetly not gone. The icy fire that seeped through me, both burning me alive and freezing my soul, never seemed to stop, only spread, discovering some new way to prolong my endless torture.

Three days suddenly turned into an eternity in itself. I wondered absently if, if three days seemed this long, how would I fare actually existing for an eternity? But soon the fire spread to my head, blocking all coherent thoughts.

I didn't know if Edward was there or not. I supposed that he was, seeing as he had promised me. But, I doubted that there wasn't something that needed to be done, some unknown task that needed to be completed. My Change aside, of course.

So the eternity continued.

I could feel my body changing, feel the 'pop' along my spine as it disconnected and came together again. Multiple times. I could feel my body draining itself of things that were no longer necesary, like water, and by the second day, I was extremely dehydrated. Thirsty. And yet water was not what sounded apetizing. . .

By the third day, I was much better off. My body had finished most of its 'reconstruction,' and the pain was dimming slowly, as if it, too, were draining from my body, just as the water had.

<>About halfway through that day, my heartbeat was all that I had left. All other traces of humanity had vanished. But, of course, I knew that eventually, very soon, in fact, my heartbeat would also depart, leaving me truly 'dead.' I listened to it, its slow, rhythmic beating, as it gradually began to slow down. I quieted my breathing, ignoring the pain that was barely existent at this point, so that I could listen better, listen, and know the exact time, the exact second, that the Change was complete. Slower and slower my heart beat, a dying drum, fading into the distance. And then, without warning, it stopped.

And the world was black.

(((A/N: I considered simply stopping at this point, but that wouldn't be any fun, would it? No, it wouldn't. Yes, that's right, the person infamous for cliffhangers has not stopped at a cliffhangers. No, you are not dreaming. Now, continue reading the story, for the 'fun' has only barely begun.)))

I realized, after a few moments of panic, that I was not blind. The room was simply extremely dark. In fact, I was beginning to be able to make out shapes, objects, in the small room.

I had been moved, I realized. I was no longer in Edward's room, as I had been when Edward had first bitten me, but in an unfamiliar one. The styling of the bedroom was similar to those on the second floor, so I assumed that must be where I was.

I sat up, slowly. My throat felt raw. I was sure that this feeling was not natural, that it surely must be fromthe screaming that I had done over the last three days.

<>But it didn't feel like that. It was an aching, maddening feeling, causing my head to scream and my position to shift, searching, instinctively, I knew, for a liquid to satiate the thirst that burned my throat. And I knew exactly what I was looking for.


I heard a gasp below me, how far, I couldn't tell. "She's awake," a sweet soprano voice said, so quiet, so softly, that I wasn't sure if I had imagined teh voice at first. I recognized the soprano as Alice, and was surprised to no longer detect the melody that wove through her tone when I was human. It sounded sweeter, but the melody was gone. It was, I realized, probably because I was no longer her prey, and therefore, no longer noticed the sounds that were so enticing to humans. I wondered absently if that meant that they would all look different as well.

"Bella?" A soft voice said outside my door. Alice again. I rose silently, ignoring the screams from my sore muscles, and, before I realized that I had moved, I was right behind the door.

I had forgotten about the speed. This would be interesting to get used to...

I opened the door, again too swiftly to pass for human, and was greeted by a grinning Alice.

She looked the same, I realized, a wave of relief washing over me. The same pale-skinned, black-haired, grinning Alice. Though her teeth no longer held a menacing edge to them, as they did before. Perhaps this was because I had nothing to fear from them now...

"Oh, Bella!" Alice threw herself at me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Alice," I greeted her, surprised to find that my voice no longer sounded like that of the human Bella Swan. It was a higher pitch than before, and I could imagine the surprise on my face.

"You're not a little human anymore," she reminded me. "You knew you would change."

"I never thought about my voice changing," I admitted, feeling foolish. Of course it would change, I didn't honestly believe that the Cullens sounded like they were singing 24/7 as humans, did I? No. I simply never thought about it.

The thirst was unbearable, and suddenly Jasper was behind Alice, looking directly at me.

"You should hunt," he said, not bothering with a greeting. "You will feel better afterwards, I assure you."

"I'll take you to hunt in a minute," Alice promised.

"Where is Edward?" I asked, only now realizing that he had never come to see me. A small part of me was insanely curious, and an even smaller part of me wondered if he was avoiding me. No, I told myself. There is a logical explanation for this, I know it.

Alice and Jasper both chuckled.

"Edward will be very upset," Alice told me. "He refused to leave your side, not for anything, and he was upset when Carlisle made him come with him to run an errand at the hospital. Edward was hoping to be the first to greet you when you Awakened. I'm sure he will be annoyed with Carlisle for making him leave."

"I can imagine what he will say now," Jasper said, smiling softly. " 'Of course, the very instant that I leave her side, she wakes up. Luck is as harsh as ever, it seems.' "

I giggled. That did sounded like Edward.

"Alice?" I said, turning backtowards her. She looked at me, meeting my gaze. "Can you take me hunting sooner, rather than later?"

"Oh, yes, of course, Bella," Alice said, smiling and taking my hand. She pulled me out of the room, not bothering to lose patience at the fact that I couldn't walk at a normal, human pace. When we passed Emmett and Rosalie's room, they looked up at me.

"Bella!" Emmett yelled, grinning. "You look great!"

Rosalie smacked the back of his head. Emmett only grinned.

"Catch a big bear for me, alright?" he said, laughing.

"Sure, sure," I said, a momentarily guilt wave spreading over me. I had taken that response from Jacob.


I looked down at the bracelt on my wrist. On one side, the side closest to me, was the heart I had gotten from Edward. On the other, I knew without looking, was the small wolf that Jacob had hand-carved for me, a gift.

I had already hurt him so much. And now I had hurt everybody. Every human and werewolf I knew. Because I was selfish.

I was selfish. I couldn't deny it. I was hurting so many people, just so that I could stay with Edward. Because I knew who I couldn't live without.

But just as I couldn't see Jacob's charm, I couldn't see him. Ever again. Unless he wanted me to come, of course. But that would never happen. I knew it wouldn't and yet I desperately hoped that it would. But werewolves were werewolves and vampires were vampires. Mortal enemies. As much as I wanted it to simply be Bella and Jacob, I knew the truth. But just because I knew it, I didn't have to like it. Or accept it.

Alice led me out the door, away from every last trace of humanity and towards what was to be the beginning of my new... not 'life,' for my body was technically dead now... Existence, I remembered. That was what Edward had called his 'life.'

Once I had hunted, I would truly be a vampire. I knew this. And a large part of me was estatic at finally being what I had dreamed of being for the last two years.

And yet, if I had gotten what I wanted, why was I so sad?