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It's not that simple. . .

Summary:
Bella is finally going to become a vampire. Her dream come true. Now everything will be better, everything will be perfect. . . right? As usual, things are NEVER that simple. Bella learns the entire truth about being a vampire, good AND bad. (Dark/Romance/Horror/Family)


Notes:


3. Chapter 3

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 542   Review this Chapter

Chapter Three: Invisible Tears

Oh God.

Oh God…

“Bella?” Edward’s voice was soft from the other side of the door. He knocked once, twice. The door was only locked – he could have easily opened the door - but he was respecting that I had locked the door. And I knew that he only wanted to comfort me, to make sure that I was alright.

But I needed to be alone.

After a few more times of calling my name, Edward sighed quietly. “You know where I’ll be if you need me,” he said quietly, his voice infused with sadness. I nodded, though I knew he couldn’t see me.

And then it was only me.

The instant that Edward was out of earshot, the sobs bubbled up again. They choked me, made me gasp for breath in the silence, though of course I had no need to breathe. Not anymore…

I could not believe what I had done. I had killed a completely innocent animal! I killed it! I was a monster…

How could I? I mean… I had slaughtered those innocent deer without a single thought about the animals themselves. I only thought of their blood. All I cared about was that wonderful red liquid…

No! Even now, even though I had killed those deer, I still didn’t regret killing the deer as close to as much as I should… What was wrong with me?

I brought my knees to my chest, the world shaking with my tearless sobs. I buried my head into my knees, trying to pull myself together. I hated what I had done to those poor, innocent deer, and hated myself even more for killing them. But I was killing Edward. I knew how worried he was, knew how he was probably blaming himself for my sadness. And I couldn’t allow that. He was the center of my personal universe, and I would not allow him to suffer, especially not because of me.

I took slow, deep breaths, allowing the shaking to slow. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes, standing up. I could smell Edward, just a few miles away. Just enough to be out of earshot, and yet close enough that I knew he was struggling, struggling as to whether or not to come to comfort me, or to respect my need for privacy.

I reached over to the table next to me, grabbing the small silver cell phone on the bedside table. I carefully dialed Edward’s numbers, not wanting to break the fragile phone. I let it ring once, and then hung up. I only needed to let him know that I was ready for him to come back. And, just as I knew he would, I could hear his movement through the forest only seconds after that first ring. I stood up, setting down the phone and unlocking the door. Edward was waiting on the other side of the door, his face concerned. He brought me into his arms, pressing his face gently into my hair. I wrapped my arms around him, closing all space between us. Edward sighed softly, tightening his hold around me.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.