Run, run run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me. You can't. Jacobcentric
I wrote this after I read New Moon and before Eclipse came out. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1
Rating 4/5 Word Count 1682 Review this Chapter
I was running faster then I had ever run before. The dark trees were whipping by in a blur of green. I could see perfectly in the dark. It looked like day time. The wind was raging through my fur and roaring in my ears. It was helping me. Helping me keep my mind off of the things that hurt me. I always ran when I was upset, now it was even better. I don't know how fast I can go. It's faster then those leeches and I know they are plenty fast when the want to be.
Why am I running? Why do I have to? I'm being stupid, she told me. She told me it wouldn't amount to anything. That she was hurt, that she could never give me the love I really deserved. Sure it wasn't in those words, but she didn't have to say it. I knew the truth. Every time I looked into her eyes I saw him. Just a shadow mostly, a painful shadow that made her curl up in a ball and sob and scream. I've heard her, when I watched the house, screaming. I wish beyond anything that I could go up there and comfort her. It wouldn't help...either of us. She was his and always would be. She was never ever mine.
No, I snarled to myself. Focus on not hitting anything. Don't focus on her.
It didn't matter. I was too used to running this fast, dodging things without even thinking about it. It was all second nature now. I continued running, however, focusing this time on the wind that blew on my face. Every once and awhile I would faze back into my human form, just to feel it on my skin or to feel the brief pain of my tendons, bones and muscles snapping and breaking into a new form. I went on for hours, I think, and every time I would think about Bella. How pathetic could I get? I found out, when I was running in human form and I stumbled upon a lit up house. I recognized it by the smell. The Blood-Suckers were back. All of them. And by all I knew I meant him. He was back and everything I formed with Bella would be no more. The one sided friendship (I wanted to be more then friends), the hanging out after school, doing our homework, watching out for her. He would do it now.
Edward Cullens, her dark angel, her savior. Where was he when she was in the darkness? Where was he when she screamed out his name in pain and fear? Gone. He left her in pieces. Pieces I had just barely begin to glue together. Pieces I knew that would never be complete, even if he didn't come back.
I ran harder, making sure I was as far away from the house as possible before I transformed again. No sense in breaking the treaty even if it would mean a fight. I would love to get my teeth around the Blood Sucker's neck that hurt My Bella. I mean, Bella.
I didn't realize I had transformed again, until I felt my bare skin hit the cool forest floor. The breeze gently touched by naked body and I could feel the grass on my hip. I was lying on my side, my arm pulled to my chest like I was protecting something. I was gasping, gasping for air and I felt chilled for the first time since I became a werewolf. This felt familiar, this position, this feeling and it barely took me a minute before I figured out what it was.
I remembered when I was talking with Bella, not that long ago, really. I had mentioned the Cullens and she had pulled her arm to her chest and started gasping and shaking.
"You do that when you're upset? Why?"
"It hurts to think about them," she whispered. "It's like I can't breathe...like I'm breaking into pieces."
I reached over and touched her hair. "It's okay, Bella, it's okay. I won't bring it up again. I'm sorry."
"I'm fine," she gasped. "It happens all the time. Not your fault."
"We're a pretty messed-up pair, aren't we?"
Messed up was right. At least I was. How could I feel so much pain over a girl that was not even mine to begin with? She had made it clear that she didn't want me in that way. Very clear and I knew it. But I couldn't help hoping that she would get over that leech. That she would come to me and want to be mine. Forever.
Alright, maybe not forever, but a long time. I wanted us to be like Sam and Emily. So perfect for each other. So in love that the aura surrounding us would make people gag just to be in the same room. I wanted Bella to look at me like Emily did to Sam. So proud yet with a touch of worry. I knew Sam brushed it off, the worry, but I also knew he enjoyed the thought of her worrying, loving and thinking about him. It was, is, what I want.
I know I'm too young to think that way. I know it sounds strange, but why does that vampire have a connection so strong with her. Is it so strange to think that a werewolf could not have something similar? I have often wondered about it. Maybe that's why Emily is so accepting. She has that strong connection, that bond, with Sam. It doesn't matter what he is as long as he is Sam. Just like Bella doesn't care what that leech is as long as he is...Edward. The name, even passing through my mind, made me cringe. I hated him. I hated that name. I hated them all.
I was breathing heavily and I could feel my body trembling. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I couldn't go into a rage and go after the Cullens. There were seven of them and one of me. I'd be dog food, no pun intended, before I could even get in the house. What would Bella think anyway? If she found out I was dead, killed by her beloved vampires by attacking them. I doubt they'd go after the others. Carlisle didn't seem the kind of man to jump to conclusions. Not like us.
How interesting that something even more uncontrollable then us could control themselves. After so many years their anger must fade. Well, that a new epiphany. I still don't forgive them. I still hate them. They took away the thing I treasure most. They took away her. And I knew she would want to become one of them in time. I knew that no matter how much I ran, how many vampires I killed, it wouldn't change the fact that Bella, my Bella, was lost to me forever. I curled up into an even tighter ball and lay there.
I knew that the red head could still be hunting and that be laying there was perfect prey for her. I didn't care. The wind blew again causing a scent to reach my nose. It was a vampire, though not the red head. I had smelled it before, on Bella, in Bella's house and on that small vampire that was staying with her. Alice, I think her name was.
She was a little ways away, sitting in one of the trees. Just sitting there. Watching me. She made no move towards me. Perhaps she was keeping an eye one me. Bella had said she could see the future. She could have gotten a flash of my anger, that one point where I wanted to attack them all and came out to stop me. There was no reason for her to stay now. I wouldn't attack them. I was smarter then that, though she might think me a dumb beast. I really didn't care. I was in pain. I was pathetic. Nothing could make me feel better. Nothing could make me move.
I wondered what the expression in those butterscotch eyes looked like. Was it hate, fear, pity? Did she know I was defenseless; did she know that she could attack me and probably kill me with out anyone being the wiser? The red headed vampire would be blamed for my death, she knew this, and no one would question it. She was still watching me. I could smell her. She was the only one there. No other leech was present. Why was she doing this? Why did she stare and watch me in my pathetic state? I felt the anger build up and the want to attack her grow. It was gone as soon as it started. I found I didn't care anymore. I didn't care what they did, what Bella did.
Was I pathetic? If was thought so then I was a hypocrite. Bella went through the same thing and I told her she wasn't pathetic. I told her it was okay to feel this way and I meant it. It was different, though, when it was me. Maybe, it was the male genes that screamed at me that I shouldn't feel this way. Find someone else. Go do something. Hit something. It didn't matter just stop lying on the ground in a pathetic heap. I couldn't though. I just couldn't. I didn't care if I was pathetic. I didn't care that some vampire was watching me, perhaps guarding me. I didn't care that I was lying naked in the middle of the woods. That she could see me. I didn't care that I couldn't run anymore. That I couldn't build up the speed I told Bella I loved so much. I just didn't care.