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All That I'm Living For

Summary:
A Songfic from Bella's Point of View on the day that she is turned. Please read, flames allowed. My first songfic. ExB


Notes:
DISCLAIMER: Neither the characters nor the song is mine.


1. All That I'm Living For (By Evanescence)

Rating 5/5   Word Count 550   Review this Chapter

All that I’m living for

All that I’m dying for

All that I can’t ignore

Alone at night

I was, in essence, both living and dying for him. Edward was my world. And now he would turn me. So the eternity of night may begin.

I can feel the night beginning

Separate me from the living

I wouldn’t be able to go back, this I knew. Jacob, Angela, Charlie, Renee. All of them. Gone. Forever. But I knew who I couldn’t live without…

Understanding me

After all I’ve seen

When he left, oh that was horrible. I couldn’t imagine any other pain like it. And he was going through the same thing. Twin souls, twin pains…

Piecing every thought together

Find the words to make it better

If I only knew

How to pull myself apart

Ever since Italy, Edward hasn’t been the same. He’s been determined to make up for his leaving. If only he knew that he’s just making me feel worse. We’re so out of balance now…

All that I’m living for

All that I’m dying for

All that I can’t ignore

Alone at night

All that I’m living for

All that I love and more

Like the last open door

My ghosts are gaining on me

The wedding was wonderful, but now he had to turn me. Now. And excited as I was about its coming… the thought of the pain scared me so much…

I believe that dreams are sacred

Take my darkest fears and play them

Like a lullaby

Like a reason why

I complain that my obsessions

Make me understand the lesson

So I’ll find myself

So I won’t be lost again

Alone we are empty. Together we can breathe. Stronger than soul mates. He was meant for me. I was not meant for him. But I could not ignore him. I loved him. More than Jacob. (Jacob, I’m so sorry.) And tonight, I would die.

All that I’m living for

All that I’m dying for

All that I can’t ignore

Alone at night

All that I’m living for

All that I love and more

Like the last open door

My ghosts are gaining on me

Edward’s waiting. I should go soon. But… I’m not ready yet.

I take a deep breath. In. Out. I can do this. I can. The pain can’t be so bad as to drive me away from him...

Guess I thought I’d have to

Change the world

To make you see me

To bring you all

I could have run forever

How far would I have come

Without mourning your love?

Odd, that only two years ago, he was simply a crush in my Biology class. And now, we had gone through so much. So many memories. So many nightmares… But now, we could be together for eternity. After one last thing. I picked up the phone, dialing…

The phone rang only once.

“Bella?” Jacob’s voice greeted me, hopeful that I had left Edward, chosen him.

The tears started.

“I’m sorry Jacob,” I whispered. “Goodbye.” I hung up.

All that I’m living for

All that I’m dying for

All that I can’t ignore

Alone at night

All that I’m living for

All that I love and more

Like the last open door

My ghosts are gaining on me

Edward opened the door, carefully, slowly. He met my gaze, and I nodded. He picked up my hand, slowly bringing it to his mouth. And then he bit me. I could not hold back my scream.

Only three days, I told myself, and then I can be with Edward forever.

But I was giving up so much…

Like the last open door

My ghosts are gaining on me