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Lullaby

Summary:
Lullaby by Awsomealice94 What if Bella never jumped? What would happen if Edward came back?


Notes:
disclaimer- all characters and settings are not owned by me, but by Stephenie Meyer


1. Chapter 1

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1142   Review this Chapter

I woke up unwillingly. My body was stiff from sleeping and my throat sore as I yawned. I slept for probably only 2 hours, dreaming and screaming throughout the night instead of how I used to, when things were right.

I rolled over to see what time it was, 8: ooam. It was a Saturday, so no school. Great, just more time to think about how my heart and soul is being shattered. I needed somebody to make the shattered pieces fit back together, and I knew only one person could do that.

I miss Edward- I winced- so much. All of the life I wanted, gone forever. My true love, gone forever. There will be no way I could ever see him again. But I shouldn’t think about that. After all, he said he didn’t love me, and that still hurts. I don’t ever think it will stop hurting. There are just too many corners in my mind, and I will never be ready to love again. I’m not together and I will never get there. Because without Edward, my life is meaningless.

Yet, I never wanted to stop thinking about him- it will hurt later though. But who cares? There’s no more ways my life could get any worse, so why not do what I want. I haven’t been somewhere that we used to go together in a while. Even though the last time I was in meadow I almost got killed by Laurent. This should tell me something. Maybe I shouldn’t go to the meadow. But I need to go somewhere; it would be too lonely in the house with Charlie fishing.

Infact, I will go some place. I will go to the place that will hurt me beyond what anyone could imagine. I will go to the white house by the river. I know it will kill me later, but I think it is the best tradeoff I can get.

I rolled out of bed. I got dressed and ate in a trance like state, thinking about what I was about to do. I tried hard not to. I started the engine to the truck and drove as fast as it would allow me to go. I had too, because I was afraid I would change my mind, even though something was telling me I should go anyway.

I passed the river and went on the bridge, and steered through the trees mindlessly. I was afraid I was going to get lost, so I let my memories that I have blocked lead the way. To my surprise, I pulled up to the white house. It looked like they never left, like it did months ago. I felt tears spring immediately to my eyes. I forced myself to turn off the engine, but that was it. The only thing my brain let me do was sit there and fall into pieces.

I knew this was going to hurt. But I needed to do this; it was something that would help me repair. Although, I don’t know if I will ever repair. It was almost like a test, and I defiantly failed it. “Get a grip.” I whispered to myself.

I wiped my tears away with my sleeve. I needed to get out of the car. What is the point of even coming if I chickened out? I closed my eyes and opened the door slowly. There looking back at me in my head was Edward. He smiled, but then disappeared as I opened my eyes.

I walked slowly, but I collapsed in the front of the porch steps. I couldn’t afford to push myself anymore. It was just too painful. All of a sudden I heard my lullaby, the one Edward wrote for me. Its beautiful sound echoed off the trees and traveled through the forest. As I sat up it grew louder. Okay, it was final. I’ve cracked.

I pushed myself to much, and now I’m imagining things. But something inside of me told me to go find out where it was coming from. If it leads to nowhere, then I’m crazy. Another test, which I might fail.

I got up slowly and walked to the front door. Each step hurt as I listened to the wonderful music, my lullaby. I expected the door to be locked, but it wasn’t. I let it fall open. What if it’s a trap? I began shaking; partly because I was sacred and partly because I hurt. But then Edward’s soft velvet voice was in my head, “don’t be scared.” He insisted. I chouse to listen to my imaginary Edward.

The house was covered in white sheets, and it had nothing in it. I looked around. It was blank and empty, yet full of memories. The music was growing louder as I walked up the stairs. I decided to walk up another flight of stairs, because I felt like the music was coming from the third floor. The music was defiantly louder, and I knew which room it was coming from, Edward’s room. My mind lead me to Edward’s room. Not a surprise, but I continued to walk anyway.

I sank to by knees in the doorway. I cracked. I failed the test. The only reason I new this was because Edward was there, as beautiful as ever, he was standing next to a stereo with my lullaby playing in it. My memories didn’t do him justice. “You inspired this one.” he whispered.

I couldn’t believe this. I cried and cried. Edward walked over and picked me up. “Bella, I missed you so much.” He breathed.

He walked over and sat on a chair, holding me in his arms. Everything looked so real. It felt so real as well. I couldn’t be dreaming and I don’t think I’m mental, maybe he really did come back. He cool hands brushed my cheek over and over until I calmed down.

“Bella I love you. Distractions or no distractions, they never really were distractions. I couldn’t live without you, and I never will. I realize that now, and I realize I didn’t save you from our leaving as well. I was stupid Bella, and I’m sorry. But if you have out grown me I will leave.” He said.

“no.” I didn’t like the idea of him leaving.

“I love you Edward. You know that. Don’t leave me.” I begged. “Well then, it’s settled. The Cullen’s are here to stay. I love you too, and I will stay with you forever.” He promised. “forever.” I marveled.

He leaned to kiss me, and I kissed him back. I was whole again. My soul and heart was put back together. And for once, in so many months, I felt perfect. I breathed in the sent of him, and he hugged me closer. “Everything will be fine.” He promised me. And it really did feel that way. I simply nodded