Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

Starlight

Summary:
Continuation of Eclipse Bella's wedding day finally arrives, but her streak as a danger magnet isn't over quite yet. No, you are not delusional. I have actually updated. *cheers*


Notes:


4. Endlessly

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1766   Review this Chapter

There's a part of me you'll never know
The only thing I'll never show

Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

It's plain to see it's trying to speak
Cherished dreams forever asleep
Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
But the moment never comes

Endlessly- Muse

*

The Cullens apparently have an Aunt Victoria who is very sick in the hospital. They also have to go visit her before she gets any worse, therefore delaying the wedding a couple of weeks or months, depending on how long Aunt Victoria is sick. Isn’t it just a huge coincidence that she got sick the week bloodthirsty vampires threatened my life again?

“I can’t believe that worked,” Alice muttered and she drove me over to their large, white mansion. I nodded, letting my head rest against the car window. Tears rolled down my cheeks, the weight of the day crashing down on me. I was dressed in the clothing I came to the church in- my wedding dress was tucked in the trunk of the car out of sight. Alice glanced over at me, her mouth turning down into a grim frown. “Don’t worry, Bella,” she sighed, patting my shoulder. “We won’t let anything happen to you.”

I shook my head slowly, trying to wipe away my tears. “I’m not crying because I’m afraid for my life, Alice,” I choked out, my breath starting to come out in shallow breaths. I would have to calm myself down to avoid hyperventilating, but that was on the bottom of the list of my worries.

Alice raised her eyebrow, maybe actually thinking I was crazy after all. And I probably was.

I took a few deep breaths before trying to continue. “I couldn’t do it, Alice,” I whispered, letting my eyes close. I suddenly didn‘t have the energy to keep them open. “I was about to call off the wedding when you told me about the vampires,” I sobbed, covering my face with my hands. I told myself before it was because I didn’t want to leave my family to face some unknown danger by themselves, but that was only half the truth. I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t say goodbye to my father, my mother and my friends. I only had a few hours left back there to say goodbye. It wasn’t enough, and I freaked out. “It all seemed to soon,” I whimpered before unbuckling my seatbelt and curling into a ball. A vampire was driving the car- it wasn’t going to crash anytime soon. But when I opened my eyes again, I saw that her hands were clenched around the steering wheel and her face was curiously blank. Alarm bells went off in my head; hopefully I didn’t offend her. She put so much work into the wedding just to have me want to cancel it. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling more and more like a horrible monster.

“Why didn’t you tell us,” she asked, her voice sounding strained. I turned my gaze towards the landscape rushing by the window. I didn’t know how to answer that.

“I didn’t figure it out until a minute before the wedding,” I mumbled, my face turning hot. How stupid and utterly careless was I? I left my brain to wander a minutes before my wedding. It didn’t actually make a difference in the turn of events, but I thought I would be smarter then that.

“I’m sorry if any of this has to do with my planning,” Alice said in a monotone from the seat next to me. I turned my head to gauge her reaction, but her face was blank.

“It’s not anyone’s fault but mine,” I said before looking up at the white house getting bigger and bigger. “Now everyone has to deal with the consequences. I really messed up this time, didn’t I?” I laughed dryly. Alice glanced over at me cautiously before yanking her keys out of the car and jumping out. I realized then that my last statement could be taken more then one way. I wasn’t sorry that I was getting married to Edward! I loved him more then life its self! But, I didn’t really know anything now, didn’t I?

“I can’t stop Edward from finding out about this,” Alice called from the mansion doorway- where she reached in less then a second. “You should be the first to say that you don’t want to get married after all.” The door closed behind her and I was left in the car, my legs pulled to my chest and my hair a mess around my face. I couldn’t blame her for wanting to get away from me. I was a horrible person after all- telling her that I wanted to cancel the wedding to her brother. But I didn’t want to. I loved Edward and I wanted to get married. I wanted to be able to love him like he needs. And I can’t be a porcelain doll to do that.

I found myself shaking with sobs, my whole body suddenly feeling very cold. I didn’t know what I wanted any longer. I knew I wanted Edward, immortality and vampirism, but I just didn’t know how to achieve all of those without breaking more then one heart with them. I was in one big mess and once again it was all my fault. I thought I was ready to leave everything behind- I guess I was wrong.

Edward arrived home a half an hour later after sorting out everything with the church and the caterers. I winced as I saw his shiny Volvo pull up to the car next to me; his face twisted with worry and confusion. I couldn’t will myself to look at him, though. Unless I wanted him to see my guilt stricken face.

I heard the door next to me click open and the slight creak of the seat while Edward’s rock hard body slid onto it. I didn’t want to imagine what he looked like right then. His hair a mess, his face pained, worried, confused, hurt…

“Is anything wrong, Bella?” Edward asked, his voice cracking for once. I nodded slowly, tears cascading down my cheeks again. He took my chin in his hand and turned my head to face him. As soon as I saw his blazing butterscotch eyes, a new line of sobs starting to form and burst out of me. Edward held me while my body tired it’s self out with muscle spasms and tears. “Sh…” Edward soothed, rubbing my back with his cold hands. I normally would have cancel.

“Edward,” I choked, trying to find my voice again. He looked at me expectably, his face just as blank as Alice’s was. I was praying that he didn’t read her thoughts yet. I had to be the one that told him. “Edward,” I whispered, my hands shaking. Better get it over with sooner then later. “I was going to call off the wedding,” I blurted out, my words running together. Edward just sat there, staring at me. He sighed suddenly and leaned back in the drivers seat.

“I was worrying about that the whole time we were engaged,” Edward stated, only his hand resting on mine. I stared at them interlocked, trying not to think about which ring was missing. “Do you still love me?” he asked slowly, as if dreading the answer. Much to my later humiliation, I burst out laughing. Only that it sounded like a chocking walrus.

“What kind of question is that?” I asked, my burst of insaneness wearing off. I took a few deep breaths before trying to speak again. “Of course I love you,” I responded, trying to keep myself level headed. Edward didn’t move an inch, though I did see something flash through his eyes. Maybe realization that he almost married a maniac. I turned my eyes away from his face, not wanting to see the blank expression that resided there. “I thought I was ready to give up my family,” I whispered, the dead mood settling into me. “I was wrong.”

Another few minutes passed with no other form of communication. All the while I watched Edward’s face as he stared into space, hoping for some sign of life.

“You better take me home, then,” I said after a little while. I turned my attention strait ahead, my arms crossed over my chest. “We don’t want those new vampires to get the wrong idea.”

I knew I was being harsh, and I was the one to break off our wedding. Edward’s distance hurt me. I expected rage, pain, hurt… I just needed something to show that he still cared.

“Well, then,” I said, holding back more tears that were willing to spill out. “I’ll just have to get Alice to drive me.” He didn’t stop me as I stumbled out of the car and the tears leaked through the weak barrier I set up. The tears blinded me as I tried to reach the house, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was the dead look in Edward’s eyes.

A strong arm wrapped around my waist, forcing me to turn around and look at the owner. Edward’s face came into view, and I couldn’t stop myself. I threw myself on to him and buried my face in his shoulder.

“Don’t cry,” he begged and he wrapped his other arm around me. I shook my head and tried to wipe my tears onto his shirt. “I love you, Bella,” he murmured in my ear. I tried to smile through the phlegm and tears.

“I was worried that you didn’t anymore,” I whispered, my sobs quieting down. “You know, since I was about to ruin our wedding day,” I chuckled dryly. I let out one last deep breath before sniffling. My eyes were out of tears by then.

“That’s preposterous,” Edward said before lifting me into his arms. I left my self settle next to him, finally content.

I don’t remember what happened after that, but I woke up in my bed over at Charlie’s house, the space next to me cold. I closed my eyes again and willed myself back to sleep. A few more minutes wouldn’t hurt. Sleep is the best medicine to pain.