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Starlight

Summary:
Continuation of Eclipse Bella's wedding day finally arrives, but her streak as a danger magnet isn't over quite yet. No, you are not delusional. I have actually updated. *cheers*


Notes:


5. Falling from Heaven

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1334   Review this Chapter

Repress and restrain
Steal the pressure and the pain
Wash the blood off your hands
This time she won't understand

Change in the air
And they'll hide everywhere
And no one knows who's in control

You're working so hard
And you're never in charge
Your death creates success
Rebuild and suppress

Change in the air
And they'll hide everywhere
And no one knows who's in control

Change in the air
And they'll hide everywhere
And no one knows who's in control

*

A few hours later when I woke up I felt dead. I had an overwhelming desire to just fall back asleep and let my subconscious take over and bring me back into a world of happiness. But the cold presence next to me kept me from drifting back into that peaceful place and I found myself wide eyed and staring at the most beautiful man on earth. Edward smiled back at me and kissed my forehead.

“Good morning,” he whispered and started to stroke my cheek. I flinched back form his touch, not fully understanding why, and my heart almost shattered at the hurt expression on his face. Of course it disappeared only a moment after I saw it, and I knew even though he was telling me he wasn’t upset, I wounded him.

“I’m sorry,” I choked, glancing away from him. Anything but him. The guilt from the night before welled back up in me and I had an urge to just scream as loud as I could. I somehow restrained myself, but that didn’t stop Edward from frowning at me.

“What’s wrong?” he asked hesitantly. I swallowed and forced myself to look into his butterscotch eyes. I found myself opening my mouth and spewing out gibberish. He placed a finger on my mouth and chuckled. “In English, please,” he requested. I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest. I had no idea why I was being so moody, but I was still vulnerable from the day before. And that dream was still replaying in my mind. I was in no mood for his…perfection. “Did I…hurt your feelings?” he asked, bewildered. He joked with me very often, and never did I react in a hostile way. I was surprising myself just as much as him.

“This isn’t a laughing matter, Edward,” I grumbled, pulling my sheets up to my chest. It was hard to believe that I would have been married by this time if things had gone as planned.

He titled his head, a serious expression covering his face. I sighed and played with the already frayed edges of my blanket.

“Breaking off a wedding is very serious, Edward,” I insisted. I tried to bore my eyes into his as how he always seemed to manage, but I had no such luck. I was probably just humoring him even more. “I wasn’t ready to marry you or do anything else at that level. Doesn’t that bother you at all?” I asked, my voice cracking somewhere at the end. Edward seemed to ponder that for a moment before he took my hand in his.

“Nothing is more important than you,” he answered. “Whatever you want is fine with me.” I was about to smile at his comment, but realizing I had just gotten nowhere, I groaned and fell back on my bed. He leaned over me, letting the full intensity of his eyes shield me. “Really, Bella,” he insisted. “What you want is what I want.” I squeezed my eyes shut.

“You’re hurting,” I groaned. “You’re hurting because of me. And you have been ever since you came back!” He opened his mouth to respond to that, but I cut him off. “Will you please just stop sheltering me?” I asked. “Don’t hide your hurt or pain from me because you don’t want me to see it!” He looked away from me, his jaw clenched shut. I tugged on his hand. “You are expecting me to marry you and you won’t even tell me what I may be doing wrong to hurt you.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” he snapped. “Just because I pushed you into this, doesn’t mean it’s your fault.” I was shocked to say the least. I just stared at him, waiting for my jaw to close. This was all my fault and he was blaming himself?

“Ugh!” I almost screamed. “You’re always doing this! Blaming yourself or acting all virtuous because you want to spare me the pain! Well, stop it! Let me be a big girl and face it myself!”

We were both silent for a few moment, just thinking, before Edward stood up from the bed. I had time to wind down, and my heart leapt out to him when he distanced himself from me.

“I don’t want to spend our brief few moments with each other fighting,” he said coolly. I found myself feeling guilty yet again “I don’t know when I’ll be able to see you again. Please,” he begged, crouching down to look me in the eyes. “Let us just be happy together before we are separated.” I stared into his eyes and the fire in me vanished.

“I’m sorry,” I whimpered. He smiled his crooked smile and kissed me gently on the lips.

“You will always be forgiven.” I almost frowned at that, but the reminder that we wouldn’t be together sent a spark of urgency down me. All I wanted suddenly was him right then. Morals and dangers be damned. Only Edward mattered at the moment.

But a knock at the door cut that moment short.

“Bella! Who are you talking to in there?” Charlie’s familiar voice called out. My jaw dropped open while Edward ran to hide in the closet. My mind was scrambling for a response.

“What?” I asked in a purposefully tired voice. I yawned to add to the effect. “I just woke up. I must have been sleep talking.” I heard Charlie grumble. My heart started to race even faster.

“I hope you’re okay, Bells,” he said after a few moments of hesitation. I was deeply touched by his worry, but he couldn’t be around if Edward and I were going to sort some things out before he left.

“I’m fine, dad,” I responded. I knew he worked that day, so I pushed him to leave and not stay home with me. After a few minutes he agreed with me. Edward didn’t come out, though, until we could hear the car revving up and driving down the street.

I felt the bed tilt to the side rather than seeing Edward sit down next to me.

“Can we save the conversation for later?” he pleaded. I glanced at him, the dead feeling in my chest taking me over again. “All I want to do right now is love you.” I nodded, the need to talk our feelings out dying in me. It was suddenly hard to swallow.

“I love you, Edward,” I muttered. I looked up at him, wondering how I was able to stay mad at him. The prospect of him not being there…it was horrible. “How will I survive with you gone?” And nothing at all being resolved

He just smiled and kissed my cheek softly. “They won’t stay here too long. Don’t worry. I’ll be back before you have enough time to even miss me.” I smiled up at him, willing myself to believe his words.

But I couldn’t.

It was only a few hours since he left, as I was already aching for his presence again. Our parting was bittersweet, especially since I had no idea when I would see him again.

I stared at the clock, wondering what I would do. Jake…was gone. The hole in my chest started to flare again so I turned my mind to other thoughts. I had no idea if the pack would welcome me. I would hate myself for what I did to Jake. I had no doubt they would dislike me, too.

I sat there thinking for must have been at least ten minutes to find out it had only been two.

What was I to do?