The Lone Wolf
The heart is such a fragile organ. Using it too much can only cause pain. Leah/Sam/Emily Submitted to the Minor Characters Challenge (October 2007)
3. Emily's POV
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Pain. There is nothing like it. Love. A useful remedy for pain. Pain from love. Now that sucks of shit.
She could feel his eyes upon her. But she ignored him, as she walked hurriedly into the forest. She simply couldn’t stand it anymore. The longing glances across the room, the small, innocent touches, the overt innuendo behind the play of words…she just couldn’t keep up the charade anymore. It had to end. To keep her sanity, and to free her guilty conscience, Emily needed to put a stop to everything.
It had gone on for over 2 months now, since the ‘incident’ at the beach, (as she had labelled it in her mind). He’d always seek her out, find a way to get her alone, and then he’d sweep down upon her and leave her breathless, yearning for more. And each and every time, she’d pushed him away, adopt an angry face, and try to slap him. But they both knew that they both equally wanted it bad. Emily can glare all she wants, but Sam would always have this knowing look in his eyes and a playful smirk on his lips. She knew that he was aware of the fact that she couldn’t get enough of him. And he played that to his advantage.
But nevertheless, there were many instances in which Emily couldn’t help but pay attention to Sam. She’d immediately feel his presence once he’d enter a room, or her eyes would automatically search him out in a crowd. She couldn’t help but feel gravitated towards him. They were like two planets orbiting around each other; attracted by the other’s strong gravitational pull. She was just waiting for the inevitable moment where they will crash and fuse.
But that will never happen, because she won’t let it happen. No matter how much Sam Uley appealed to her mind and body, he did not belong to her, and she did not want to belong to him. She hated him for kissing her that day, and she hated him for having that effect on her.
Why? Why was she bothered by Sam Uley? Because Emily hated being disloyal to Leah. Leah, who’s not only family, but who’s been her closest friend since childhood. She was like a sister to Emily, but here was Emily, fooling around with her boyfriend behind her back.
A wave of guilt and nausea overcame Emily’s heart, and she stopped by a tree and rested her back against its trunk. She closed her eyes and lifted her face to the stars above, imploring them to have pity on her. Why does Sam affect her so? She couldn’t understand. Why couldn’t she walk away from him without feeling as if she were being torn in half? Why?
A hot breath fanning across Emily’s face suddenly alerted her of someone’s presence. The very person whom she was trying to avoid.
“Sam.” She let the name escape her mouth in a half-whisper, half-sigh. Her eyes remained closed, as she felt him move closer, and place a warm hand on her cheek.
Despite the protestations in her mind, where her logic was screaming at her to walk away; Emily decided instead to rub her cheek against the calloused but smooth palm, and take comfort in its warmth and familiarity.
“Are you trying to hide from me?” asked Sam playfully. Emily opened her eyes and looked at Sam. His hair was loose tonight. The long strands were blowing gently against his cheek. He looked beautiful and impressive with his tall frame and slightly muscular built. Just pure perfection.
“I can’t hide from you, Sam. No matter how much I try, I can’t.” Emily turned away from Sam and pushed away from the tree. She chanced a glance at him over her shoulder. “You always find me.” She then walked further into the forest. She knew, without looking, that Sam was following her.
She stopped walking when she came to a small clearing in the trees. Without turning around to look at Sam, she said, “we need to stop.”
Silence. Without being deterred, Emily went on. “I don’t want Leah to get hurt. I love her; she’s almost like a sister to me. I can’t do this to her anymore. I can’t.” Emily was no longer sure if Sam had heard her at all. So she turned around to face him. He was just standing there in the light of the moon, staring at the ground, his long hair shadowing his face in darkness.
Finally, he looked up at her. “Leah doesn’t need to know anything. I know it’s wrong what we’re doing, but, I can’t live without you Emily.” He took a step closer to her. “I love Leah too, but if I have to choose, I’ll choose you Emily. In a heartbeat, I’ll choose you.”
Emily did not know what to say. Her mouth was slightly open in shock, and her mind was reeling. This is not going according to plan, thought Emily. A wave of anger and frustration washed over her.
“You can’t choose me, Sam. Leah loves you and no one else. If you choose me…she’ll be heartbroken. She’ll hate us! Don’t you understand? I don’t belong in your life—Leah does!” Emily’s chest was rising up and down with anger. If Emily was never in the picture, Leah and Sam would have been engaged by now! Emily remembered all those long nights when she and Leah would stay up all night and talk. Leah would go on and on, on how she thinks that Sam would propose to her any day now. The excitement in her eyes, the flush in her cheeks, and the pure love and adoration that was carried in her voice whenever she spoke of Sam; it hurt Emily. It hurt her, because she knew that the next day, Sam would snatch her into the shed, and kiss her senseless. To make it worse, Emily would let him have his way, because that was what she wanted, too.
“Leah is your first love. You belong to her.” Emily stared with wide, angry eyes at Sam, willing him to understand.
“No.” Sam moved closer, until he was only a foot away from her. “Stop being noble. We have a bond, Emily. Can’t you feel it?”
Emily shivered. She knew what he was talking about. They were connected on some intangible level, and Emily knew that she couldn’t deny this connection, no matter what she was trying to do now.
“I can tell Leah that it’s over between me and her. She’ll have to get over it eventually. But you, I can’t let you go. I love you Emily. You are my life, my breath. Without you, my life would be meaningless.” Sam lifted his hand to Emily’s hair, and ran his fingers through it. He admired its silky smoothness, and then rested his hand at the nape of her neck. “You are my moon, shedding light on my dark path. Don’t turn away from me Emily; don’t deny us what our hearts yearn for.” Sam gave a bittersweet smile. She knew that he couldn’t help loving her. But Emily just couldn’t understand why.
“Sam.” Although Sam’s words touched her deeply, and her heart ached to be with him, Emily listened to her logic; and her logic was telling her to let Sam go. She hated herself for saying the next words, but she’s made up her mind and she adopted a steely look that she hoped would convey the message. “I don’t love you.” Emily looked up at Sam with the best cold expression she could muster and desperately hoped that he would not see through her lie. Half of her was expecting Sam to burst out in laughter, and tell her that she was being silly. But it seemed her cold act was working. Sam’s hold on her neck tightened, and a look of hurt flashed through his eyes.“I’m leaving. Tomorrow morning, I’ll be gone, and I’ll never come back. You’ll never see me again, and it’ll be like I never existed.” Emily took a deep breath to calm her pounding heart—but it wasn’t working. “You mean nothing to me, Sam. I used to hate you for forcing yourself on me, but all I can feel for you now is nothing. Absolutely nothing!” Her heart was pounding in her throat, and Emily felt that she was going to hurl at any moment. But, Emily also found that the more she talked, the easier the spiteful words flowed from her mouth, and the less pain she felt stabbing into her heart.
Sam’s hand was shaking violently at her neck. His face was skewed into a painful expression, and she could barely look at him. His pain was too raw for her to bear.
Sam suddenly wrenched his hand away from Emily’s neck, and he bent over as he clutched it to his stomach. His whole body was shaking in small tremors. “You’re lying. Don’t lie to me Emily,” Sam whispered in a pleading voice.
“I’ve met someone, and I’ve known him for a while,” continued Emily, as she ignored his request. Lying came so easy now, and stopping would just prove to be much harder. “I fell in love with him, and he asked me to marry him.” Sam’s body was shaking harder now. He was making anguished little sounds and gasps that travelled to Emily’s ears. For a moment, Emily sensed that she had pushed him far enough and that she should stop. But her brazen boldness masked the pain that she was feeling, and the pain that she was piling upon Sam. This made her feel reckless.
“Guess what I said to him, Sam. Guess!” Emily shouted out in her anger and frustration. “I said yes!”
“No!” choked out Sam. Without warning, there was a loud ripping sound as Emily saw Sam disappear and change into something large and terrible. She was standing not one foot away, when she felt a painful tearing on one side of her face, and a thick, hot liquid blurred her sight.
The last thing she saw before she blacked out was the head of a massive creature, and the red of her blood glinting on its yellow teeth in the moonlight.