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Forgive Me

Summary:
My second song-fiction. Set in Eclipse just after Bella tells Edward that "she can't stand it if [he] leaves her again."


Notes:


1. Forgive Me by Evanescence

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 454   Review this Chapter

Can you forgive me again?

I don’t know what I said,

But I didn’t mean to hurt you.

I saw the pain contort his face, quickly becoming the dominant emotion on his ethereal face. Instantly, the guilt consumed me, took me over and pulled me into the darkness with its horrible, icy grasp.

I heard the words come out.

I thought that I would die.

It hurt so much to hurt you.

Then you looked at me.

You’re not shouting anymore.

You’re silently broken.

His arms wrapped around me, comforting me. Me of all people, the very person who had just caused him all this pain. The guilt monster also wrapped around me, squeezing me so hard I thought my lungs had collapsed. I was a monster for doing this to him. I wanted to take the words back so bad, and yet knew that, if this worked, I wouldn’t regret it as badly.

I’d give anything now.

To cure those words for you.

Each time I say something I regret,

I cry – I don’t want to lose you.

But somehow I know that you will never

Leave me (Yeah)

I feel so horrible inside. I was such a horrible, unbelievably evil person for purposely hurting the one I loved, even if it was to protect him from getting hurt. I mentally laughed, a slow, harsh laugh. I’m hurting him to keep from him getting hurt. Oh yes, Bella, you are a genius . . .

He hasn’t broken the silence yet. I’m still waiting, waiting for the answer, which I so badly desire, but hate because I know I forced him to say it. But I just can’t lose him…

‘Cause you were made for me.

Somehow I’ll make you see

How happy you make me (Whoah).

I can’t live this life

Without you by my side.

I need you to survive.

So stay with me.

You look in my eyes

And I’m screaming inside

That I’m so sorry!

God. He’s going to stay. Now the guilt is intermingling with the relief. I got what I wanted. I should be so happy, so grateful, so relieved. So why was the guilt not vanquished?

I knew why.

I had hurt Edward so badly because of my pure selfishness. But, as horrible of a statement as it was…

It was true.

I could not stand losing him, him leaving, having to sit and worry and worry and worry. I just couldn’t. So…

I wasn’t sure if I could forgive myself. Could he ever forgive me?

Will you forgive me again?

You’re my one true friend,

And I never meant to hurt you.