Imprints in the Snow
For what you did to me
And what I'll do to you
What everyone else gets
You get a lifetime
--- My Chemical Romance There's nothing Bella hates more than life, and Edward Cullen. She resents him for creating her, against his better judgement. After being unable to accept life as an immortal, she returns to Forks, Washington, hoping to find peace in the place that she spent the last of her years as a human. But just as Bella's adjusted, a very unexpected someone enters her life again and tears everything up. Chapter Six!
3. Chapter 3 - (Bella)
Rating 5/5 Word Count 2117 Review this Chapter
Said I'd lie and wait forever
If I'd known we'd be together now
I can't always just forget her
But she could try
At the end of the world
What's the last thing I see?
You are never coming home
Never coming home
--- My Chemical Romance
Jacob returned to the kitchen with a face like thunder. It was obvious that Leah had said something to him that had got him thinking. He picked up the dishtowel and began vigorously rubbing the plates dry. I kept silent, not wanting to say anything to trigger his anger.
Tick, tock. The hands on the kitchen clock clicked everytime a second passed. Tick, tock. Another minute passed with no words exchanged between Jacob and I. I decided to dismiss the issue and tried to focus on the smell that filled the room. It was not Jacob's smell - it was Leah's. I wrinkled my nose in distaste. I'd never smelled anything so foul.
"How's the La Push Pack?" I asked, keeping my tone light.
He looked at me, as if he were expecting me to say more - maybe insult what he was. I kept my mouth shut and waited for his answer. "Sam and Emily had a son a couple months back." This only reminded me that I was never to have children of my own. I rubbed at my eyes with a corner of my sleeve, making sure I did not dislodge the contact lenses.
"That's great," I lied. "What's his name?"
"The baby's name is Kevin." Jacob said; his voice borderline defensive. But there was another edge to his voice - something behind the warm brown, almost black eyes that stared at me mercilessly. He reached out and brushed a stray hair from my cheek, and then smiled. His warm hand froze the skin that he brushed. The touch was so shocking... Surely he knew what I was... Surely he realized I could crush his skull with a twist of my fingers. There was something pulling and pushing in my chest; I could not identify the feeling - my heart having been dormant for so long. It was longing. I longed to have his warm arms encircle me.
I thought back to the first time he'd ever kissed me. I had been foolish and naive to believe that I did not want him the way he wanted me - thinking that I had only one place in my heart, already occupied by another. How stupid I was, to be oblivious to the truth - that I was indeed, in love with a werewolf, and also that life would've been happier with Jacob? What I would give for a slice of yesterday with Jacob!
"And Quil and Claire?" I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.
Jacob smiled my favourite smile. "Quil is good. He's really taken on a leadership role within the pack. He went to Claire's fourth birthday party... You should've seen it." He shook his head, smiling. His black hair shook out around his face.
That was when I got a good look at him. His cheeks were a little leaner now, the russet skin running uninterrupted over the length of his high cheek bones. His eyes were perfectly spaced and round as he stared down at me. I remembered the sweet face of the Jacob I had met four years ago, and saw the same one in the present day Jacob, just hardened in expression, but still soft in the eyes. He was breathtakingly beautiful - I sucked in a breath at that. "You were going tell me more about Quil and Claire?
"Yeah." Jacob laughed quietly to himself. "It was like he'd seen his mother for the first time - he just scooped Claire up in his arms and spun her around. From the looks of it, she was pretty glad to see him, too." He grinned. "He didn't take his eyes off her throughout the entire party. Everywhere Claire was, there he was too, standing right behind her or at least within her sight. Maybe it's not romantic for them now... But I can just imagine what it's going to be like when she's old enough."
"They sound like a heaven-made match," I agreed; focusing my eyes on the sink as I rinsed off the last plate and handed it to him to dry.
"Things have really changed since you were last here, Bells." I turned to see him staring into my eyes, like he was reaching into the inner depths of my soul with his gaze. When he looked at me with desperate eyes, I could almost hear what he was thinking. She is your enemy. I backed away several inches, having to take a step back to keep balance. It was then I realized that we had been leaning towards each other, and before I had backed way, there had been less than half a foot between our faces. Why did that not bother Jacob? Surely my scent burned in his nose like so many others like me... I also realized that I was standing only a few feet from my enemy, and my life was in danger every second that passed...Yet, why was I not afraid? The distance between us was too much for me... I wanted to cross the kitchen and wrap my arms around him! There was no emnity that I felt towards him - what was wrong with me? He was staring at me now, his lips set into a soft smile, his eyes were filled with so much longing that it seemed to cause him pain! Take yourself over to him and hold him in your arms, Bella. Ease his suffering. He loves you still.
And for the first time, I listened to my instinct. This seemed easy enough to do without inflicting any injury. I pressed my cold face into his chest and felt his long, warm arms, though slow moving, wrapped around my shoulders and held me tightly. I buried my face into his skin, but he did not flinch at my cold touch. "This is crazy," I mumbled into his shirt. "Imagine Sam seeing this - you embracing your mortal enemy!"
His arms tightened around me at the sound of Sam's name, and I felt his face in my hair. "Let's not talk about Sam." The edge to his voice notified me that there was more to this than he said, but I decided not to push it and just lost myself in the moment. "You should know, I'm breaking all the rules for you right now."
I tried to pull away, but his arms restrained me from doing so. I very easily could've yanked away, but held myself so that I could see his face. "Don't ruin everything you've built just for me, Jacob. I'm not worth it." I didn't smile, so as to keep the seriousness in my words. "Trust me on this."
"You are worth it." Jacob insisted, shaking his head.
"I don't have a soul," I muttered, really now understanding Edward's words more than ever before. He had taken my soul - and I had stupidly let him do so without putting up so much as a fight. I was stupid to believe that immortality with Edward was what I truly wanted - what would make me happy. I had never felt as empty as I did now; I was sure he could feel that in my rigid muscles. I was so wrong in the decisions that effected my life so drastically and feeling myself in Jacob's warm arms only further reminded me of that fact.
Thump, thump, thump. Even though I could hear the steady, slow beating of his heart, I could not smell his blood, which comforted me. Maybe I wasn't as big a monster as I had believed before... it ignited the human in me. I held his gaze, and he held mine, slowly as he inclined his face to mine. My skin grew icier by the second.
And just before his lips met mine, someone interrupted. It was Leah, clearing her throat in the doorway. "Jake, it's getting late. Billy will be wondering where you are." There was an edge of insolence in her voice, and she did nothing to conceal it in her face.
I glanced at the clock. It was barely seven o'clock, but I knew Leah had other reasons for wanting to leave other than not wanting to upset Billy.
"Billy won't mind if I'm home late." Jacob said, his lips set in a thin line.
"Come on, Jake. I need to get home, too." Leah said, her eyes pleading to him. I could tell there was more to this than it seemed.
"Take yourself home," Jacob said rather roughly. He tossed her the keys to the Rabbit. She caught it with one hand.
"Jake." She glared at him.
He glared right back. "I'll come home when I'm ready. Don't tell Billy to wait up for me. I don't think I'll be long."
"Maybe you should go home, Jacob." I muttered, though the last thing I wanted was for him to leave. "Leah's right. Billy will be worried." And not just because you're staying out past curfew. But because I'm a vampire, and you're a werewolf, and I might kill you. The truth was the truth, and he could plainly see it in my eyes.
"I'll see you soon, Bells." He leaned down, as if to peck me on the cheek, and I froze. He changed his mind and the last moment and only rubbed his cheek against mine. The seconds it took for him to cross the room and to leave through the door seemed to be a critical moment. I screamed at myself in my mind over and over again to say something! If I whispered his name, he would stay - I could see that in the way he looked at me!
They were out of sight now, but I could hear Leah whispering loudly to Jacob, "Are you crazy? You'll see her soon? She'll be the death of you, Jake! Can't you see that?" And I could very clearly understand that he did not.
If only I could find some way to prove her wrong.
But alas, it was in my nature.
* * *
I tossed and turned in my bed under the covers, though rest was futile. I had tried this several times since I came back to Forks, even though I knew for sure that vampires were unable to sleep. I longed for the peace of mind that slumber would bring! Though, if I were human and in this dilemna, sleep would not come easily, either.
I was getting fed up with the icy sheets that never warmed, no matter how thickly I piled them on. Quietly and carefully, I hurled myself out the front window and into the front door, landing lithely on my feet. The air was brisk and cold, but refreshing against my equally cold skin. I followed the path that winded into the forest on the side of the house, wishing to escape from this world.
There was no reason in my mind that could explain the way I felt when I was with Jacob. When I was with him - I did not want to destroy him; though he was my enemy. Where there should've been enmity, there was compassion and longing, and I was sure he felt the same for me, in the way that he looked at me with those dark eyes. Had Jacob imprinted upon me? I felt the feeling almost horrendous... I knew I was no good for him. If he had found happiness in a human, he would've been safe, with no dangers threatening his life.
Or was this all a set up? Had Sam instructed Jacob to get close to me so they could destroy their enemy? Protect the tribe? My chest stung at the thought of Jacob's possible betrayal.
No, no one could fake that expression... This was all ridiculous.
Above, I could hear the sound of the rain approaching, saturating the leafy green leaves all around me. Soon, the mist had turned into a full blown storm, and where it touched my skin, it turned to icicles.
I shivered, though I could feel nothing.
* * *Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me
Even when the sun is shining
I can't afford the lightning