Imprints in the Snow
For what you did to me
And what I'll do to you
What everyone else gets
You get a lifetime
--- My Chemical Romance There's nothing Bella hates more than life, and Edward Cullen. She resents him for creating her, against his better judgement. After being unable to accept life as an immortal, she returns to Forks, Washington, hoping to find peace in the place that she spent the last of her years as a human. But just as Bella's adjusted, a very unexpected someone enters her life again and tears everything up. Chapter Six!
6. Chapter 6 - (Bella)
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1211 Review this Chapter
I need the therapy man
I need to ask him how
Can I live
--- Justin Nozuka
I was towelling dry my hair from the hot shower that had done nothing for my ice-cold skin. I shouldn't have spent all night in the forest. Charlie very nearly caught me coming back in at 5AM. A loose floorboard had creaked under the weight of my foot, and if he hadn't been half-asleep, he would've remembered seeing me drenched in rainwater when he came out of his bedroom wielding a baseball bat. I could tell he had been partially asleep because he thought I was a serial killer. I was a killer, but we weren't going to get into those details.
The smell of vampire was so strong it nearly knocked me off my feet. Of course, if I fell, I would've broken through the floor, but I caught myself before that and sat down on my bed so I wouldn't break anything. There was the clumsy sound of human feet thudding on the cherry-wood floors and the bedroom door slowly swung open.
"Bella, there's a visitor for you." Charlie's solemn face appeared at the door. "It's Alice!" He added, breaking the tension. Charlie couldn't resist Alice's colourful personality, charming him from first glance. "Did you call her down here?"
"No," I shook my head. "I don't know why she's here." And I followed him down the stairs at the slow, normal, human pace.
"She's just right in here," Charlie walked into the small den and there she was, sitting on the sofa with her legs crossed and her white limbs positioned gracefully. "I'll leave you two to catch up while I go fix myself some breakfast. Alice, Bella? Are either of you hungry?" We shook our heads in unison. He left the room and I heard pots and pans clanging in the kitchen.
"Hello, Bella." Alice looked at me with coal black eyes. "How are you?"
"I'm fine," I muttered through my teeth. The formality in the air was strange. I was not used to being this cryptic to Alice, of all people. "How are they?" I put no emphasis on the word to notify her. She would know well enough who I was talking about.
"Esme and Carlisle are getting ready to leave for Italy in a couple weeks. Carlisle wishes to visit the Volturi and possibly do some work in foreign countries." Alice sighed, and relaxed a little bit. I followed her example and sat down in the worn armchair. "Rosalie and Emmett are finally back from Haiti, just for the next couple of weeks so they can say goodbye to Esme and Carlisle before they leave." She paused, hesitant to continue.
"And Jasper?" I prodded. Something eminent hung in the air.
"He's coming along nicely with his self-control. Of course, I don't know for sure how desensitized he is, but my instinct assures me that he's much better now - you know, since... then."
The memory came flooding back, and I couldn't do anything about it.
The rememberance was so strong that it knocked the breath out of me, and like I used to do as a human, I began to hyperventilate; sucking in large mouthfuls of air and trying to ignore the beating of my heart in my ears, loud and rhythmic in my ears. "Don't, Alice. I can't stand to think about that." Her mouth closed with an audible snap, and I worked on relaxing my rigid muscles.
"How are you, Bella? It's been ages since we last spoke." She'd delivered a blow to my conscience. I composed my face and folded my hands in my lap.
"This is my life choice, Alice. Please don't question it." I said plainly.
She looked uneasy, as if she hadn't expected me to say that. "I didn't..."
"I could see it in your eyes." I narrowed mine.
"Bella, what happened to you? You used to be less.... less...." She was at a loss for words.
"Cynical? Morbid? Bitter?" I tried.
"All of the above." She smiled tentatively. "I suppose I deserve it for dropping in so unexpectedly." She hardly ever forgot that I did not share the same powers as her. Her face twisted painfully, and I couldn't help my chest swelling up with emotion for her. The hard mask on my face wiped off and replaced with a smile, I took a deep breath and tried to calm the air though I was not talented in the way Jasper was.
"Oh, Alice, I'm sorry!" I said suddenly.
The smile returned. "I knew you would say that." she said, grinning wildly, showing two rows of perfectly white teeth. "I've missed you a lot, Bella. It's not the same without you around. Emmett has no one to tease. Rosalie has no one to hate. It's like you left and took a piece of us with you."
The trueness of the statement knocked the breath out of me. "I'm sorry for making a decision so selfish and hasty. I should've thought it through before putting it into action. I'm sorry, Alice." The venom in my tone returned.
"Bella, you know I didn't mean it like that." Alice whispered, reaching out to touch my sleeve, only to pull her fingers back before she could find purchase.
And now that I could see where this conversation was going, I saw no harm in sabotaging the trust we had built in a few words. "How is he, Alice? Still mourning over his losses?" I growled.
"Bella, don't be like this. Don't speak of Edward like you don't still love him. You know you do." Alice muttered, staring at me with her big, round, frighteningly dark eyes.
"You don't know everything, Alice. You can see what I'm about to say before i even say it - but you don't know anything, not really. I don't love him anymore. I've let him go. He should do the same." I growled, and stalked out the room. There was no sound as she got up from the sofa and walked out the door to relay the news to the one I had once loved.
I couldn't feel anything.
I felt no remorse, even though I'd just told off the one who had helped me through countless trials in my human and immortal life.
I felt no sadness, even though I had no one in the world I could turn to now. I couldn't open up to Charlie - my battles with my conscience being revealed to him would surely put him in more danger than I had ever put him in as a human. Was this monster created, when the hot, pulsing blood left my body, only to be replaced by venom? Was this the new Bella? Had the soft, warm exterior been replaced by a marble hard shell, with skin as cold as her heart?
With a face composed, free of all emotion, I jumped lithely from my bedroom window.
I did not like the Bella I had become.
I set out now to destroy her.