This takes place after New Moon. Edward attempts to surprise Bella with something big. But there plans are interrupted with others that have plans of there own for Bella, and the people she loves. Final Chapter Added!
19. Chapter 19: Awaking
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I could feel the cool vaguely familiar material under by body.
The sounds around me were exceptionally loud. Everything was so close. There was a flurry of voices that filled my aching head. Each thinking of random things.
“Why have I done this to her?”
This voice stood out amongst the others. It was so familiar. I knew this voice. It was just as beautiful as the first time I heard it. I focused on his words, all the other voices faded into the background. I was shocked by the remorse that stained each word. This beautiful voice should not be so sad.
I opened my eyes to see his face. He knelt on the floor beside the black leather couch I was on, with his face buried in his hands.
“It’s ok.” I said innocently. Like a child trying to comfort an adult from the things it just couldn’t comprehend or even begin to understand.
As soon as my quiet voice escaped my lips his head whipped up to see my eyes.
One look into those deep topaz eyes and all the memories of our time together came rushing back.
His face was pained with guilt and concern over my condition.
“She’s ok.” Echoed in my ears yet his lips never moved.
My face must have given away my confusion. “Bella what’s wrong? Are you ok?” I really wasn’t sure if I was ok. “Maybe I spoke to soon.” he said shortly after. But again his lips never mouthed a single word.
“I’m right here. How are you feeling?”
He got up off his knees and came to sit beside me on the couch. His body was unusually warm against my skin.
“I knew I should have never changed her. Look at her she’s confused and maybe…scared. I don’t know. I hate not being able to read her mind.” he was mumbling a bunch of random things. Most of it just guilt.
“What happened?” I asked him. I still couldn’t recall the past days. I could only remember the burning.
“What do I tell her? How do I explain that I had to change her to save her.”
Well I guess that explained half of what happened. I was still staring at him confused by the things that I was hearing. His lips were still, yet his words kept leaking into my head.
“But look at her she’s so beautiful. How could I not have saved her.” This made me smile inside, but I was to confused to let it play across my face.
“Edward.” I had no idea what was going on.
“Yes Bella. I’m right here.” His words were calm and caring. But the words he spoke behind pursed lips were different. “Maybe it would have been better for her if she had simply left this earth.” His mouth made no movements and not a sound escaped from his lips, but I heard him loud and clear.
“Don’t ever say that!” I yelled without thinking.
“What?!” His face suddenly sank as I abruptly grew anger with him. To him it was for no apparent reason, but I knew better. “Bella, what are you talking about?”
So he’s going to play innocent.
“I heard you loud and clear Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. And don’t you ever say that or think it again.”
“I didn’t say anything.” He was hurt by my words of anger, and couldn’t understand why.
“Maybe the words never touched your lips, but you said them loud and clear.”
Shock crossed his face as he took in my words, and fully comprehended what I was saying.
“You can…” he finished the sentence in his mind. “Read my thoughts.”
“Bella, that’s your power. You can read minds just like me.”
I had always wondered what the people around me were thinking. Now I would know. Suddenly a wave of voices came rushing pass the walls of my mind. I quickly shuffled through the voice and realized they were all voices I knew. Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice. Carlisle was missing.
The others heard me yelling at Edward and were concerned. But they left us alone. There were so many voices it was hard to concentrate on just one. It was easy to hear Edward. I only ever wanted to hear his voice.
I could feel myself staring blankly at Edward. “Bella. Are you ok?”
“Yes I’m fine. There’s just a lot going on.”
There was so much voices all speaking at once. I could hear ever minuscule thing they thought.
“It’ll get easier. I promise.” he said taking my hand in his.
“What happened? The last thing I remember is being in a car with Victoria. Charlie! Oh Edward is he ok, what happened?”
If anything happened to him I would never forgive myself.
“Bella’s he’s fine. He’s at home, he didn’t get hurt.”
Oh, thank goodness.
“What about me?”
“My Bella.” He said solemnly, brushing his hand against my cheek. “I saved you.” Was all he said, before his mind was filled with images of the ill-fated night.
Him crashing into the car. Him seeing me lying there in my own blood. The decision he had to make between saving me or letting die. I even almost could taste the memory of my own blood. He lingered there for little while and then moved on. Him killing Victoria, and then watching as Emmett and Jasper killed Angelo. Then his mind skipped to yelling at Alice. I saw the pain on Alice’s face from his words. Then his mind was filled with my screams for help, images of my aching body.
I shook my head and left his thoughts. I bent my head down and was filled with a horrible aching feeling in the pit of my stomach.
His mind was filled with the guilt of changing me. He thought he was wrong and should have let me died. He was so wrong.
“Edward baby.” I turned to stare into his deep butterscotch eyes. How I loved seeing his face after being away from him for what seemed like lifetime. I smiled at him, I was filled with so much love it hardly seemed possible. “Don’t you ever think that you did the wrong thing by saving me. If you had let me die, that would have been the worse thing you could have done. I’m here. With you. Forever.” I took his face in my hands. “You’ve given me a new life. You’re my angel.”
His mind instantly filled with bliss. And I was thankful. I hated hearing him loathing himself, my Edward should never feel that way.
“I was so worried you would be mad at me. That you would hate what I did to you. For making you feel all that pain.”
I gently pressed my lips against his. I pulled away and rested my head against his forehead. “All that pain was worth going through, if I get to spend the rest of eternity with you.” I kissed him again.
His soft full lips felt amazing against mine. How I missed these lips. I took a deep breathe, taking in his scent that I had longed for. His scent was so much stronger with my sensitive smelling. It was great.
“I love you. Pain is nothing if you are by my side.” I told him resting my head against his chest.
“I love you too.” He pulled me closer to him.
Being with him just like this was worth all the burning and the pain of feeling like I was dying. To be tightly pressed against his sculpted chest.
Like time, pain is a fickle thing, but in the end it’s worth it. You never want to revisit it, but are glad you went through it. It teaches you strength.
- Chapter 1: Forever
- Chapter 2: Surprises
- Chapter 3: Unenthusiastic
- Chapter 4: Unexpected
- Chapter 6: Confusion
- Chapter 5: Anxiety
- Chapter 7: Romance
- Chapter 8: Revenge
- Chapter 9: Angelo
- Chapter 10: Topaz
- Chapter 11: Giving Up
- Chapter 12: Darkness
- Chapter 13: Lost Love
- Chapter 14: Forever or Never
- Chapter 15: Fading Heart
- Chapter 16: Pay Back
- Chapter 17: Guilt
- Chapter 18: Damning My Angel
- Chapter 19: Awaking
- Chapter 20: Over Powering
- Chapter 21: Begin Again
- Chapter 22: Understanding
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- 17 Feb 07
- 16 Jun 07