The invitations were sent. The location was booked. Everything was in place for the joining of Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen in holy matrimony... but when Bella woke up the day of, all that was left was a note: Bella, I love you. I won't say that it will be as if I never existed, for I know that I cannot make you forget something. I will not tell you to try to love again. I would greatly encourage you to live your life well, and that is why I am gone. You'll be safer without me. Please Bella, never blame yourself. You are, were, and will be all that I ever wanted in my existance. Forgive me. -Edward Be safe. Now, Belle's friend is getting married, her other friend is throwing a halloween masquerade, and maybe, just maybe with all these chances, Belle can find love again.
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14 years earlier...
“You look gorgeous,” said Alice, and for once, I think I agreed with her. The way my dark curls hung around my face, and how they contrasted with my pale skin and immaculate white gown almost made me look good enough to be next to Edward—almost. I could only hope that I could make it the next three hours… without falling flat on my face. Alice hugged me and smiled encouragingly.
“Anything for my sister soon to be. I’ll see you at the wedding!” She headed towards the my bedroom door and added, “And don’t be late! If you are, Edward would probably go into cardiac arrest, that is, if he had a heart.” I giggled appreciatively, and she left. I smiled at myself in the mirror. The reason why I was forced to be in the gown for the next three hours was not my idea. Getting ready was the easy part. Keeping myself ready (as in not ripping, dirtying, or moving an inch) was not as easy. I sat down on my bed, flipping through the scrapbook that Emmett and Rosalie had made for Edward and I.
One hour had passed... I missed Edward. I had only been away from him since last night, but I needed to see him. He had sung me to sleep for the last time, and Alice was the one who woke me up this morning. It was a good thing that we were getting married, not to mention the part after we got married. There would be no reason for us be apart… ever. I carefully went downstairs and sat down in the new bullet-proof car he had bought me, making sure not to ruin the dress. It took a long time for me to get to their house, longer than it usually takes Edward. I drove at the speed limit, he didn’t. I wondered if I would want to go fast like all of them when I became a vampire. I knew it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding and all, but I think that there are some exceptions… like when you are unconditionally and irrevocably in love with someone who happens to be a vampire. I got out of the car and snuck my way to the door. They had probably heard me by now, but I was hoping Edward was too preoccupied to notice. Fortunately, the door was opened, which meant nobody would hear the key…
As soon as I had gotten inside I had headed towards the main room to get to the stairs, but I stopped when I heard shouting.
“What the Hell is this?”
"Alice, don’t.” I held my breath. It was Edward.
“Don’t what, Edward? You cannot do this.”
“Alice, it’s for the best. I can’t change her. I couldn’t control myself, I—”
“I think she has a choice. Unlike the rest of us, she wants to be changed.”
“She doesn’t know what she wants.”
“It’s her life, Edward.”
“That’s why she needs to live it.”
“What she needs is to live it with you. Don’t you even remember last time.”
“SHE SAVED YOUR GOD DAMN LIFE, EDWARD!”
“And she shouldn’t have.”
“Because it would have been easier.”
“You’re right, Edward, it would have been easier. She could have lived a MAYBE happy life with Jacob. I saw the vision, Edward. As much as you wish she only loved you, she would have had a perfectly fine life if you had died, but you know what? YOU came back. You should have thought about this before you came back to her. She turned away from him for THIS? For you to just pack up and leave a second time? Open up your eyes, Edward! She left her only other friend for YOU? You cannot leave her ALONE!”
“Alice, you know tha—“
“All I know is that she does not deserve this. She didn’t deserve it the first time, and she especially does not deserve it again.” It was silent for a few moments. I realized then that I wasn’t breathing. I took a breath, but it was too loud. “Edward, don’t.” And then I knew he was gone. Alice had come around the corner to me. I sank to the floor.
“I’m so sorry, Bella.” She had a crumpled piece of paper in her hand. “I had no idea until I saw the note. He left it on your desk this morning… I—I saw it before you woke up.”
“It’s alright, Alice.” I held my extended my hand to her. She gave me the note.
I love you.
I won't say that it will be as if I never existed, for I know that I cannot make you forget. I will not tell you to try to love again, for I know that I cannot make you love. I would greatly encourage you to live your life well, and that is why I am gone. You'll be safer without me. Please Bella, never blame yourself. You are, were, and will be all that I ever wanted in my existence. Forgive me. -Edward
I already knew that that was what would be there… the ultimatum.
I closed my eyes and laid my head against the wall. I did not cry. I had been there before, and like Alice had said, there was no Jacob to save me. I had sacrificed that for the one who had left me before. I would have to save myself this time, but it still hurt me more than the first. Behind my closed eyes, I imagined all the people I had to be strong for… my soon to be born sister, Charlie, Renee, even Alice.
But the person I knew I had to be strong for the most was the one who had hurt me in the first place. If I died having not lived my life to its fullest, I knew that he would carry that guilt with him for the rest of eternity.
I could not fall into my deep hole again.
It was as if he had given me a push into it, but now I was just trying to keep my balance.