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Cullens' Couples Dating Game Show

Carlisle puts on a dating game show for anyone in Forks who wants to see it and forces the rest of his family to participate. Disclaimer: Stephenie owns all the Twilight characters.

I hope you like it.

1. C-Man

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1357   Review this Chapter

“Hello ladies and… Mike. Mike, why are you the only guy here?” Carlisle the great *cough* announcer, asks. He was hoping more people would have shown up to the show, but only Esme, Mike, and some other random girls, counting a weird Chinese one with freaky green glasses, were there. What was with those glasses?

“I came to support Bella,” Mike tells him. But he was really secretly hoping that this show would break her and Edward up. That’s what always happened on the other couples dating game shows he watched alone in his bedroom… in the dark… along with the sope operas he taped… hugging his pink teddy bear. Then after they break up, Bella would come running to him. They would be together and live happily ever after, like in the fairy tales he stole from his little cousin 3 years ago and watches over and over. Take that Cullen! Muahahaha!!!

“Mike, why are you laughing like that?” one of the random girls asked.

“Ooops. Sorry.” He thought he was only doing that in his head. Now he realized he was doing it out loud. How embarrassing!

“Okay. Anyways, what was I going to say? Oh yeah. Welcome to the first ‘Cullen’s Couples Dating Game Show’. I’m your host, C-Man. Our conte-,” he is cut short by Esme.

“C-Man? C-Man?! You spent all last night trying to come up with a brilliant name. You couldn’t even take the time to help me rearrange the downstairs furniture! And I let you, because I knew this was important to you! And all you could come up with was C-Man?! You disgust me!” Esme spits out.

“Hey, that’s not nice. I thought it was pretty clever.” Carlisle is hurt by Esme’s words.

“She’s right,” that weird Chinese girl says. It surprises everyone that she speaks with a strong Texan accent. “C-Man is pretty dumb. Especially since it took you all night to come up with it. I mean, I could have come up with that in two, maybe three, seconds. LAME!”

“Okay, I think that’s enough about the na-,” He is interrupted again by that Chinese- Texan? girl. She was getting really annoying!

“Is that the only name that came to your mind? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. What’s your name?”

“Carlisle Cullen,” he says unwillingly.

“Carlisle, Carlisle? Hmmm…. That’s going to take some thought.”

“What is?” Carlisle asks her.

“Thinking of another name for you. I mean, you wouldn’t want to stick with C-Man, would you? Of course not! Let’s see. Hmmm… Carlisle, Carlisle…. Hmmm….”

“That’s it! Security!!!” Carlisle shouts. He’s had enough of this girl. He can’t call security on his wife, but he sure can call it on her. “Security!” he calls out again.

Two big buff men arrive at his side.

“Can you get her out of here?” he asks them.

“What’s the magic word?” one of them says.

“Oh come on, Tido-Amelio! I don’t have time for this!”

“We’re not doing anything until we here the magic word,” he says again.

“Billy-Phobio?” Carlisle tries to get the other guard to do it.

“Uh uh… C-Man!”

The guards burst out laughing.

Carlisle’s has had enough of the teasing. He gives up. “Fine! Please! There, happy now? Now get her out!”

The guards go over to the weird Chinese girl, picks here up, and start to carry her out, her kicking and screaming the whole time.

“You can’t do this to me! I was just trying to help the host guy’s reputation! That doesn’t deserve this! Put me down this instant! I’m going to call my lawyer to sue you! Do you hear me? I will see you in court!

“Yeah, yeah, whatev- OW!!! That hurt!” screams Tido-Amelio. The weird Chinese girl had kicked him in the gut.

“Yeah? Well, I’ll do it again if you don’t let me down!” They reach the door and go outside. Carlisle and the rest of the people in the audience can here the girl still fighting with the guards. They listen for a minute, and then Carlisle continues.

“Okay, so anyways, where was I at? Oh yeah. Our contestants, or couples, are Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper, and Edward and Bella! Let’s have them out, shall we?” Everyone just sits there and waits. “Clap for them,” Carlisle hints.

Everyone begins cheering as Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper, and Edward and Bella walk out onto the stage.

“Woo hoo Bella! Yeah!” Mike starts screaming. Bella shoots him an evil glare and he shuts up.

Once they’re all seated, Carlisle starts to speak again, but Jasper cuts him off.

“Remind me why I have to do this again, Carlisle. Or, did I hear C-Man?” They all start snickering.

“Yeah, I know, dumb name. The audience has already told me, you don‘t have to. You’re doing this because it’s a family activity. We’re ‘bonding’ as humans- I mean other people, call it.”


“Because, we’re a family and we need some togetherness! Plus, I want to entertain everyone. You know how that’s always been my real passion. ENTERTAINMENT!”

“Wait a minute. I’m not part of your family. Why do I have to be in it?” Bella asks.

“Because your going to be soon and you need to get used to our family activities. That and the fact that Edward needed a partner.”

“Fine.” Bella pouts in her chair.

“It’s okay sweetie. It’ll be over soon enough, and then we can go get some ice cream… and a very rare steak,” Edward says to her. He starts to lick his lips at the thought of that rare steak. Mmmm, his favorite.

“Yay! Rare steaks!” Bella exclaims.

“Ummm, I was thinking about ice cream for you. And the steak for me.” Edward says. Bella must already be developing vampire taste-buds. Either that, or she’s different than Edward thought she was. And if that was the case, he would lose this game! ‘Please be the vampire taste-buds!’ Edward thinks.

“Oh, okay. Yay! Ice cream!” Bella exclaims.

“Okay. Each team will have a special name that they will be called by. That way I don’t have to keep saying their names. That gets a little annoying,” Carlisle announces. “The teams will have one minute to discuss with their partner and pick a name. They will then write it on the larger white board that is under their seats. Starting…” he winds up a timer. “Now!”

The teams begin to discuss with one another about the names. Alice and Jasper are the first ones to take out their board and write on it. Then Rosalie and Emmett. And finally Edward and Bella. Dumb human slowness!

The buzzer rings. “TIME!” screams Carlisle.

“Not so loud honey, please!” Esme says from the small audience.

“Sorry, dear. I was just so caught up in the excitement!” Carlisle tells her. “Okay, it’s time to see the names that each team chose. For Emmett and Rosalie… Team Emmy-Rosy! Ummm, very clever *cough!*.” Carlisle hopes that the audience will make fun of their name, too, although he thinks it’s pretty good. Why couldn’t he come up with a name that good?!

“That’s such an awesome name!” one of the random girls in the audience yells out. Darn!, Carlisle thinks. They like it, too. Why him?!

“Okay, moving on. For Alice and Jasper… Team A.J.! Moving on.” He’s not going to give the audience time to love that name. “Now, last but least-” he’s cut off by Bella.

“You mean ‘last but not least’.”

“No. I mean last but least. No offense or anything. Anyways, for Edward and Bella… Team Edward and Bella. Wow. Very… original. You guys do know that the whole point of making up team names was so that I wouldn‘t have to take the time to say both of your names, right.”

“Yeah, but this makes us the most unique,” Edward tells him. He seems to be very proud of his team name. Him and Bella both. What was wrong with them?! Who knows.

“Okay, now that we’re done with that, we’ll start with the questions. You will have 2 minutes after the question is read to answer it. You will right down your answer on the other white board under your chair. The first question is for the boys. It is ‘If your spouse was a fish, what kind would she be?’ Start answering… now!”

The boys take out their white boards and begin writing.