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The Lost Tracker

Summary:
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." As I spoke those words, I felt my stone heart shatter. Her mind and emotions unraveled in a spiral of chaos. With my face frozen emotionless, I watched her fall apart. What was Edward doing after he left Bella? +spoilers+


Notes:
Edward is on his own in the wild, with nothing but never-fading memories, a broken heart and a murderous vampire on the loose, to keep him company. What will he do?


1. Chapter 1; Spiral

Rating 4/5   Word Count 957   Review this Chapter

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." as I spoke those words, I felt my stone heart shatter. Her mind and emotions unraveled in a spiral of chaos. With my face frozen emotionless, I watched her fall apart.

Hot tears filled her warm brown eyes and a light blush accented her cheeks. Even in this emotional state, she was more beautiful than any angel.

"You...don't...want me?" Her face was lost, confused, adorable; like a puppy caught in a storm.

"That's everything," I said, clenching my fists at my sides, straining to keep all emotion from tainting well played front. "We won't bother you again." Her eyes widened more than I thought possible.

"Alice isn't coming back," she stated. The cold truth was starting to sink in.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye. Alice wanted to say goobye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

That last blow had me on the ground, my useless breaths expelling a fog. Too many times I had relived that moment in the forest. Countless times I'd watched her stumble through the foliage, cowardly hiding in the darkness, too selfish to tear my eyes away from her, wanting to stay in the shadows and absorb her essence rather than leave and keep her safe.

Though the memory was not a pleasurable experience, I would hold it close. I would simply forget the words and focus completely on the innocence of her face. I missed her. I ached for her to be close to me. I needed her.

Even now, as I paced the wilderness of Alaska, I had to stop myself from running straight back to Forks and begging Bella for her forgiveness. Maybe I could just visit her, take a glance through her window as she slept? No. I knew all too well that once I saw her, there would be no leaving.

I had a mission anyways.

Following the overly repetitious pattern I had formed in my mind, I scanned my thoughts for any of the snide, bone-chilling words of Victoria. Of course there was nothing, so once again I had to resort to my other tools. I turned my face into the soft breeze and inhaled deeply, hoping to catch her sent. Nothing. I scanning the ground for a stand of fire-red hair, a broken twig, a speck of dust; anything that might indicate that she had been here. Nothing.

I really wasn’t cut out for the life of a tracker. Why I had decided to track this monster of monsters still wasn’t clear to me, but something told me it had to be done.

My last clue had led me east, so I continued in that direction, my mind continuing to wander back to Forks on that depressing September day. September 16th. Three days after her birthday. Such harsh timing, but it had to be done.

I yelled at myself, realizing that no being would be obvious enough to be caught by me while I was in this state. Maybe it would be better if I found my family once more. They weren’t too far from here. At the moment they were still in Denali. At the thought of Alice, I read her thoughts.

She’s hurting.’ Once more I resumed a familiar painful stance upon the ground. It felt as if the emptiness of my body was imploding. I was pathetic. I’d lost my pride and my love. What did I have to prove anymore? What was there to keep me from lying here for the rest of my existence?

Bella. She was being strong. She was continuing her life for the better. I doubted whether she would be on the ground gasping for air. No. She was too strong to be like this. I caused this. I should be as strong as her.

I stood once again, pulling together my thoughts and emotions that had been strewn about carelessly. Tentatively, I let my mind return to that night when I’d made my decision.

“We have to leave.” I said firmly. I was prepared for an argument and I was determined to see my plan through. I wouldn’t let my stupidity hurt Bella anymore. Unfortunately, Alice had been ready for this since I’d decided to leave.

“Edward, don’t be irrational. Bella will be fine. Jasper and I are going to go to Denali for a while. Everything is going to be okay.” My eyes immediately shot to Jasper’s face. His eyes were downcast and his face was remorseful. His thoughts were filled with guilt. I scoffed sourly. How he could have such a lack of restraint was infuriating.

“No. This isn’t a question. We’re leaving. Bella is not and will not ever be safe around vampires. She deserves to live a full life. Not a guarded life!” I growled.

“Edward,” began Carlisle. “Do you understand what you’re doing? What it’s going to do to you? To her?”

“Yes, Carlisle,” I said, my teeth clenched. “I fully understand what I’m doing. It doesn’t matter what happens to me. And she’s a human. A beautiful, wonderful human who can find happiness in other ways. She’s not limited to our vampire code…at least she doesn’t HAVE to be. We’re leaving so she can have a full life.”

“Edward,” Emmett spoke up, but I cut him off with a snarl.

“NO! THERE’S NO OTHER WAY! BELLA WILL ONLY BE SAFE WITHOUT US IN HER LIFE! IT’S FOR HER OWN GOOD!”

They each stared sorrowfully at me, Alice shaking her head.

“Get ready to leave.” I commanded in a final tone before ascending the stairs to my room. I wouldn’t need to bring anything. I wasn’t going with them anyways. What need would I have for music and books when music would sound awkward and books were dry? No. I didn’t need anything.