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The Lost Tracker

Summary:
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." As I spoke those words, I felt my stone heart shatter. Her mind and emotions unraveled in a spiral of chaos. With my face frozen emotionless, I watched her fall apart. What was Edward doing after he left Bella? +spoilers+


Notes:
Edward is on his own in the wild, with nothing but never-fading memories, a broken heart and a murderous vampire on the loose, to keep him company. What will he do?


4. Chapter 4

Rating 4/5   Word Count 704   Review this Chapter

The door creaked as Tanya pushed it open, revealing the darkness within. For a split second I thought of a prisoner being led to his cell. Her topaz eyes twinkled as she walked straight into the darkness.
My eyes strained, searching for her pale figure, but the darkness was too thick; almost surreal. I could feel her eyes on me and her thoughts purring as a inched into the room, feeling along the wall for a light switch. A small breeze flew by me, and the door clicked shut, encasing me in complete darkness.
"What are you doing, Tanya?" I asked, my eyes narrowing.
"What do you mean?" she called from the other side of the room, her voice holding an innocent air.
"This is wrong, Tanya," I replied, still feeling along the wall. I heard her cat-like giggle echoing around me before I felt something along the wall. I flicked the switch on, and there she stood, her breath mingling with my own.
"What's wrong about it?" she asked, coming even closer still. "I'm just getting your mind off of things..." Her voice oozed with persuasion but also with memories. I pushed her away; probably with more force than she deserved, but the taste in my mouth was sickening.
I strode across the room to the bed where I planted myself, suddenly wishing she hadn't found me. I may have been lost and confused, and my mind had been able to wander more freely, but at least there, I could suffer freely as well. Here, with my family, I had my pride to hold me up; even when so many other things were trying too hard to crush it.
I felt her weight on the bed as she sat down. I could once again feel her eyes on me, but this time there was a different feeling to it. Her mind was confused, trying to understand what I was feeling.
"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked softly, taking my hand and stroking it softly. Tanya was a connoisseur of men, you might say. How an artist might study a painting, so too did Tanya study a man. I didn't pull my hand away like my instincts told me to. I didn't scream at her as the memory of a sunny clearing floated in my mind. Instead I did something even Alice didn't see coming.
I explained everything. I poured my emotions out completely to this woman. I told her about Bella. I described her smell and the feelings that swept over me at her blush. And as I was professing my life and love, she did something very shocking as well.
She responded. I'd always seen Tanya as a beautiful yet shallow woman. Her mind had always had one track. But she smiled when I described my love. She growled when I told of my hate. She laughed when I chuckled over Her clumsy moments.
And when I finished, she didn't give me that awkward pitying face. She didn't feed me the cliché line of "It'll be okay."
"You idiot," she laughed, and though that was an insult, I joined in with her laughter.
"What do you mean? I had to save her! Her life is better without me."
"No no no no no no. You stupid stupid boy," she shook her head as though she were talking to a child. "If you love her as you say you do, and if she loves you like you say she did, then why would you do that to her? She knew very well what you are, and yet she stayed with you. She put her life on the line on so many occasions and loved you still. God damnit, she put up with your crazy mood swings! Why, then, are you ripping out her heart?"
I turned away from her once again, my cold outer-shell once more taking over my body.
"You wouldn't understand anyways."
"I think I do, though," she said. Her voice was soft and filled with ache. "I'm sure you know about my past. It's nothing to be proud of." I remained silent as she continued her story.