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My Heart

Summary:
My Heart Jacob runs into Bella after she's married Edward and has a few things left to say. A Post-Eclipse Songfic. Reveiws are appreciated as this is my first Fanfic on here, tell me if I've got this gig wrong.


Notes:


1. Congratulations

Rating 3.5/5   Word Count 1189   Review this Chapter

A/N: I am not Stephanie Meyer. I do not own Twilight. Or any part of the day for that matter. Neither do I own the song featured in this. It’s called ‘Congratulations’ and is by Imogen Heap and Blue October. They own it. Not me.

So many things were winding through Jacob’s head as he saw her. So petite. Her stench wound into him. She never smelt this bad before. She smelt of him.

She was posed on an old bench, with white paint peeling off it, reading a book. She was picture perfect. There was a small, delicate diamond on her hand. Just like her. Beautiful. This was no surprise to Jacob.

But he was not with her. This surprised Jacob. Maybe they had a fight? No, of course they hadn’t. Bella loved him far too much for Jacob to be ever happy. He walked around to face her, to see her face. He suspected that this would’ve surprised her. But it hadn’t.

She could hear you coming. He thought. She was so small, so delicate, and so much more beautiful than he had ever remembered. No. that wasn’t true. Bella was the most beautiful thing that he’d ever seen, she was inhumane now; she looked sickly sweet. But he still loved her.

She looked up, her eyes with mock curiosity, she knew who it was, her scrunched up nose showed him that. She didn’t even like the smell of him. God she had changed.

Her eyes were no-longer the sweet, chocolate brown that he remembered. They were gone, replaced with harsh topaz eyes. He hated the change. He wanted the old Bella. It pained him to look into them. There were small purple bruises underneath.

He was wrong. She was more stunning than ever, Jacob had no idea why he attempted to convince himself any different from this. He always questioned why she would give up such a life with him for this.

He took a small, shuddered breath.

Why was this so god-damn hard?

‘Is that seat taken?'

She nodded. as he slid slowly onto the bench.

'Congratulations.
Would you like to take a walk with me?’

He waited. She nodded wordlessly and rose to follow him.

‘My mind it kind of goes fast,
I’ll try to slow it down for you,
I think I’d love to take a drive.’

He almost smiled at this notion. Bella was. He knew what she was thinking.

That god-damn truck.

Gone now. Just as he had grown to like it. Her affection for something everybody else hated. She had adapted the Cullen’s affection for speed. He knew this. He still spoke to Charlie, and he never lost contact with his daughter. Even if he had no idea what she was doing.

She was screwing with her life and her own father didn’t know.

I sn’t that common though?

He almost chuckled.


‘I want to give you something,
I've been wanting to give to you for years…
my heart.’

‘It’s too late Jacob, you know that. It’s my fault. I know that if I saw what was there sooner then things might be different. But I can’t leave him. You saw how I was… before.’

It wasn’t her fault! What was she talking about? It was his! Why did he ever have to come back? Why couldn’t he leave them alone?

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me...
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me...

His pain never covered up, Leah and the others knew that. But he would have to wait for someone else. Is that how life was? When that someone left you, you found another one to take their place? Jacob thought that he couldn’t take that kind of pain. He loved Bella for so long. And so long ago he found that she loved him too… but not enough. His love for her was never enough for her.


I came to see the light in my best friend,
you seem as happy as you've ever been…’

He tried to smile. But she saw the tears in his eyes.


‘My chance of being open was broken,
and now you're Mrs. him.

My words, they don't come out right…
but I'll try to say I'm happy for you.
I think I'm going to take that drive’

She looked at him and slowed her pace, when he thought she would stop. There were still their thuds in the snow that broke the silence as she began to speak.

‘I know this isn’t easy Jacob, but you haven’t even imprinted on anyone. Not on me. You will find someone.’

He remained stubborn as ever.

‘No. Not like you Bella. There’s no-one like you.’

He brushed some of her dark hair as it fell into her face. It looked resentful now. How dare he do this to her? She wanted to remain in control of this situation. She wasn’t a controlling person, but she needed this to go right.

‘You will. I promise.’

He didn’t keep his promise. Now you’re one of them. How can I trust you?’

As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to shove them right back in. Why did he say that? He saw the pain on her face as they left their impact.

Stupid-overreacting-werewolf, he thought.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Nothing.

‘You’re right. You can’t.’

They stood staring at each-other in silence, the snow falling around them.

I want to give you something
I have wanted to give to you for years…
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me…
My heart
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me…

Oh how real these words were to him as he thought them now. He had re-opened the stitching on a wound that would now take even longer to heal. If it did heal at all.

‘And I can't change this
I can never take it back
but now I can't change your mind
You left me…
And I can't take this
I can never take this back
but now I can't change your mind,
I can’t change your mind
You left me.’

The accusation in his voice was prominent on these last few words. ‘You left me.’ Somehow it made him feel better… and worse. It was her fault! But he loved her too much for it to be her fault. How could it be Bella’s fault? It must’ve been him. His anger at her and himself came out in a low growl. Bella didn’t look afraid, as she would’ve before.

But she’s changed. She’s not yours, he thought.

I can't change your mind
You left me…
You left me…
You left me…
You left me…

Why couldn’t he change her god-damn mind?! Why was she always as stubborn as him?

He felt so defeated, he knew when he saw her that he had already won.

He almost dropped to the ground. But he didn’t, he just stopped and looked at her with his dog-like pleading eyes.

He took her gloved hand and squeezed it. Slipping her a small, wooden heart. She looked down and almost smiled. But bit her lip instead.


Go away;
Make it go away,
please.’

‘I can’t.’

She reached up and pressed her cold, marble lips to his furiously hot cheek. His skin seemed to burn with her touch.

‘I’m sorry.’

She walked away.