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Sunrise

Summary:
Life is anything but perfect. But it can be close. Then they turned into werewolves. A Pack story. (This is being completly rewritten from the old story, 'A Best Friend' I'll post the new story chapter by chapter. Hopefully this one will be better)


Notes:


2. Frozen

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1286   Review this Chapter

He could still hear her voice in his head. The way it sounded like belles. Her name was just so perfect. It described her, beautiful as bells in the wind. He can remember how she said his name. She looked up at him, her face broken into misery, asking to help fix her bikes. It was spring and it was back and she was happy again, and he was forgotten. It was almost summer and he saw her for the first time in months at her school, with that. It was freezing and he was her warmth. ‘Jacob, my Jacob’. He’d felt him heart stop and the bloodsucker give a little intake of breath. The joy that she dreamt about him, it was almost painful... The memories flowed through him and he clawed at it with his mind willing to stay with them. To drown himself in them and wallow there forever.

“Jake.”

He startled out of his revive long enough to register that Embry was talking to him. He was sitting at his cliff. It’s still his cliff. It will always be his cliff. It’s the cliff that took his life away, the cliff Bella jumped from. The cliff that ended it all for him. The cliff that brought that back to her.

“Sorry...what is it?”

Embry looked nervous. He’s worried about him. He keeps trying to drag him places to go see movies and look for auto parts. He feels really badly about all of this, but he hate the pity. Embry’s the only one that will put up with him now. Quil would be here but he has Claire. He try’s to not let the bitterness seep into his thoughts, but it’s hard. Quil has her, that person that he’s meant for. When he looks at the tiny baby rocked asleep in his arms it’s like she’s the key to the world, to existence. Quil’s existence. He looks at her like how Jared looks when he’s walked through the door on a late patrol and sees Kim’s waited up at Emily’s for him and she’s fallen asleep on the couch. Like how Sam looks when Emily rests her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes after cooking us enough food for a small town.

He wonder sometimes, how it would feel if Bella was asleep in his arms. If he saw that she waited up at Emily’s for him. If she rested her head on his shoulder.

Embry has sat down next to him. He’s quiet. Embry’s quiet. Everything’s quiet these days.

“Look Jake...you need to do something. You need to get out or watch TV or sleep.”

“I do sleep.”

“And when you do you get about 20 minutes before yelling her name and waking up.” Embry’s tone is neutral, with something bubbling under the surface.

Silence took over again. He’s been sleeping at Quil and Embry’s a lot lately. Billy didn’t mind that much, he was trying to be understanding. Quil and Embry had pooled their resources and bought a total shit-shed dirt cheap at the start of summer and since Quil is always at Emily’s tucking Claire in, or sleeping on a cot by her crib there’s usually a free bed. Sam and Emily have been really good about it too. Claire and her sister Lucy have come to stay with Emily for a while, there parents needed to move for work and Emily offered. It worked out really well in the end. He had been using the spare room to try and keep Embry company. He was doing a sad job.

“Sorry... didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Jake!” He looked over at Embry. He was staring at him. “I don’t mind that! What I mind is that you’re a zombie these days...I don’t know how to snap you out of it!”

He sighed. He hated that he was bringing everyone down. But he couldn’t move, it was like he was completely frozen like stone, like ice. And soon she would be frozen. It hit him again. That she would turn crystal, and kill, and end being Bella. He had to fight back a sob. He was embarrassed. He felt like a total wimp. But he couldn’t help it; the pain was so great, ready for him to drown in it. He stared off into space for a while, watching the sun sink lower and lower towards the earth.

Embry cleared his throat. He could see that he wanted to be alone, but he didn’t want to leave him by himself. It struck Embry how bad he looked. He knew all his thoughts were her, were always about her. Everyone knew. Embry still tried though. Quil tried too. He even took a night off from being with Claire, but he felt too bad, taking Quil away from her like that. He told him it was ok. He didn’t believe him, but he went. Sam is furious about the Leah incident, and Paul Jared and the rest of them are just sick of him being a sulky boy. Embry still talks, still rents movies still watches TV, still brings home car magazines still tries to joke. He really appreciate Embry and what he’s trying to do.

“I’ll see you later Jake.” He clapped him on the shoulder and got to hit feet.

He nodded his head to show he’d herd him, and it throbbed. He had a headache. A constant headache from his constant feeling of despair.

“I’ll leave the door unlocked.” Embry mumbled over his shoulder.

He made sure he was gone, and then he buried his head in his shaking hands. He felt the pain like an agony, bubble in his stomach like acid. It leaked though him. Spread with his blood and making his whole body burn. He was so alone. He wanted to be alone. He felt betrayed, kicked aside forgotten. Like some dog lying in the dirt. He smiled a small bitter smile at his analogy. And yet, he would do it all again.

He would do anything for her...

Bells...

He suppressed another sob. He still hadn’t moved. Thoughts of Bella swirled in his brain.

Bella laughing in the sun. So beautiful it takes his breath away

Bella sitting in the garage on his rabbit. Grinning for what looked like the first time in weeks.

Almost hearing her heart shatter, seeing herself wrapping her arms around her so she wouldn’t fall apart.

Bella starting to get some sign of life in her eyes.

Seeing her tiny body fling itself off the cliff, as he felt his heart stop beating.

Just listening to her breathing, asleep on his couch after almost loosing her.

Seeing her for the first time in months with it.

Walking down the beach taking her small hand in his, and feeling complete.

Learning about her plans to change and the horror and anger that made him speak without thinking...the pain and panic of thinking she wouldn’t forgive him.

Her lips...soft under his before he fought to protect her.

Seeing her heart break in his room. Finally being able to tell each other how they felt.

Knowing that she saw her life with him...and wanted it, but not enough.

Her last look over her shoulder before she left and the door closed on her.

He still hadn’t moved. He never wanted to move or feel or think again. He wanted to be still. He wanted everything to be still and frozen, like stone. If only he could stay like this. Sit still like stone and, maybe, eventually, Jake will turn to stone, and not need to feel anymore.