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New Scars

Summary:
What would happen if Bella had gone home with Jacob the night after the movies, the night Jacob made his first transformation as a werewolf? And what effect would this have when Edward comes back in the picture? LAST CHAPTER UP!


Notes:
This story takes place right after Bella and Jacob drop Mike off at his house and Jacob is admitting he isn't feeling well. Page 218 in New Moon if you want to be exact


13. Chapter 13

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 2179   Review this Chapter

I knew it would be like this but I never really knew it would be like this. As if that made any sense.

I mean, I could still remember the pain from when James bit me, but it hadn’t been like this. This was worse. Much, much worse. I wasn’t the only one feeling the pain though. Every scream cut into Edward’s heart and even though I knew it but I couldn’t stop it.

The pain was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was as if there was something inside of me, eating me and my blood up. It had started right beneath my collarbone where Carlisle had instructed Edward to bite me first. He had explained that, because of its close location to my heart, the transformation would work the fastest.

That had ignited the fire immediately. I had silently vowed that I would conceal my pain from Edward for as long as possible. After Edward had continued down to my wrists and ankles, it was made glaringly obvious that wouldn’t last very long. Almost immediately I started shaking from the pain. I clamped my mouth shut, willing with all my heart not to scream. Edward whispered his apologies over and over again and continuously told he me loved me.

I felt as if my blood had turned to acid and the acid was eating me alive inch by inch, burning wholes through my entire body. I was screaming, as much as I didn’t want to because I knew what pain it caused Edward.

“How is she?” I could hear Esme ask Carlisle.

“As fine as she could be. It’s only been six and a half hours since Edward first bit her. She’s still only in the preliminary stage,”

Preliminary? This was only the beginning? I felt tears spring to my eyes. My turn was only starting and the pain to come would make what I was experiencing seem like a mild discomfort.

I felt a cool hand grab my arm, giving me temporary relief from the hell my body was enduring, and something pierced the skin of my forearm. My screaming stopped and my eyes drooped almost at once.

“Thank God,” I thought I heard Rosalie say. “All her shrieking was giving me a headache.”

***

I had decided the physical pain I was going through wasn’t the worst thing happening to me right now. What was were the nightmares, the hallucinations accompanying what I was feeling. No one had told that this would happen during my transformation once I had lost conscious. They were horrible, haunting dreams. They featured Edward, Jacob, Charlie, and Renee.

In one, once I had finished my transformation, I looked exactly the same. The same weak, plain, dull, average looking girl I had always been. Only now I didn’t blush, sleep, or eat, or any of the other things that made Edward loved me for. So now I was useless to him. He left me again.

In another, Jacob had become a vampire himself, with me still human. He stalked with, no movement escaping his blood red eyes as he eyed me hungrily. He was the predator, I the prey. I tried to talk him out of killing me, saying I was sorry for how I chose Edward over him. But Jacob had held a grudge. I had left him, I hadn’t loved him like he had loved me, and he hated me for it. I screamed at he lunged for my throat.

The next vision was of after I became a vampire. I had confided with Charlie and Renee, hoping to find acceptance. They were disgusted with me. They said they never wished to see or hear from me ever again. I wasn’t their daughter and never would be. Renee spat at me and hastily made a makeshift cross with her fingers thinking it would ward me off. She yelled at me; called me a soulless, damned hell creature created by the devil. Charlie rushed to the kitchen and became searching through the drawers for something. I followed him and when he couldn’t find what he was looking for he turned a gun on me hoping it would work better than a stake.

Jacob returned again, only he was a wolf. He was the beautiful, silky, russet wolf who had saved me. He wasn’t here to save me this time. This time he had brought the whole pack with him; Sam, Paul, Embry, Jared, and Quil. They all surrounded me, growling menacingly. I was the threat this time and they were here to expose of me.

Before they could attack I had changed scenery again. Now I was standing in the lunchroom at Fork’s high school. All surrounding me were countless bodies of all my friends, people I knew and didn’t. They were all lifeless and bloodless. In front of me stood, regarding me with eyes fills with disgust and disappointment. Some shook their heads in disbelief. Then they turned and left, turning their backs to me.

Then I was dress in a long, simple dress in the sixteen hundreds era. My arms were behind my back, restrained by ropes. I was tied to a long wooden pole, standing on a high pile of wood. There were many others surrounding me, none of them had kind faces as they glared at me with unconcealed resentment. One man stood out from the crowd, a fair blonde man in his early twenties. Carlisle. His face was no different than the others, who I now realized were a mod. He took a step forward and tipped the torch he held to the pile of wood igniting it, condemning me to my fate to be burned alive.

***

When I started to become more aware of my real surrounding again, the pain and burning from my last nightmare remained. I still felt as if the flames were enclosing on me and the pain was coming back one hundred times as worst.

“Jesus!” Emmett exclaimed. “Has the change already made her this strong?” I soon realized there were three pairs of icy arms restricting my movements. Emmett had been the last for Carlisle to turn she he had never witnessed a transformation before.

“That and the fear,” Carlisle answered through gritted teeth as I withered from the pain. I imagined I looked as if I was having a seizure.

“Imagine us trying to hold you down.” Edward’s wonderful voice sounded forced as he feebly tried to lighten the mood.

That made me feel terrible. I was causing him so much pain, having to watch me go through this, knowing he caused it. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him that he should stop being so masochistic, he should just leave so he didn’t have to watch. But right before he took the first bite, he promised not to leave my side. I knew he would keep his promise, and I would have loved to tell him that he didn’t need to keep it but I couldn’t talk, so I just focused on keeping my mouth clamped shut.

***

Alice had been right. I wanted to die. Death sounded welcoming. Death would end this pain. But no, I had to shake that thought out of my mind. You wanted this, I reminded myself again like I had every time that thought crossed my mind.

You need this. When I was a vampire, I could finally be Edward’s equal. I could finally stand next to him and feel as if I belonged there, unlike how out of place I felt when I stood next to him. We could finally be together with no complications.

My left thumb immediately went to my ring finger and slid over the pieces of metals that were now placed there. Edward had given me his mother’s, Elizabeth Mason’s, rings. They were beautiful. The wedding was small, simple, exactly how I wanted it and the exact opposite of what Alice had wanted. She wanted a giant fiasco but I forbad her and Edward helped by backing me up.

I wanted it to end. I wanted this torment to be over. Hadn’t it gone on long enough? A part of me wished for Carlisle to give me more of what he had given me earlier just so I could have an escape from the pain, but the other part of me feared the hallucinations that would ensure if I were to slip into unconsciousness again. I just wanted this pain to stop.

***

I never could have imagined that a simple four days could be so excruciatingly painful. I wished that I would have been lucky and my transformation would only last three, but I had to endure a whole entire extra day. But that didn’t matter. It was finally over.

It had started in my fingertips. They slowly started to feel cooler than the rest of my body. They didn’t feel as if they had been dipped in acid. Soon, along with my toes, the feeling spread upwards, through my arms and legs until there was only a slight burning in my chest. It did not take long before that vanished too.

I cautiously moved myself out of the small, cramped ball I had curled myself into once I stopped thrashing. My joints didn’t ache, as I though they would. Moving felt strange. I felt as if I didn’t weigh as much as I should. Most startling, I felt like I was empty. Like I had become a dead weight.

“Bella?” Edward’s voice called to me uncertainly. I turned to find him right by my side, where he had promised to always be.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” my eyes bugged and I put a hand over my mouth. My voice sounded so different. Now my voice had a wonderful bell like sound, like that of Alice, Esme, and Rosalie. I sounded like a vampire.

Edward laughed once at my reaction before looking at me with sorrowful eyes. “Bella, I’m so sorry. How could I have ever put you through that?”

“Edward,” I looked at him in slight disbelief. “I wanted this and it’s over. You can’t take it back now. I’m stuck like this forever,” I warned him.

His eyes softened. “I wouldn’t think it possible, but you’re even more beautiful than anyone could imagine.”

“Really?” I speculated.

“Really. Want you see?” I nodded so he grabbed my hand and led me to the joint bathroom to the room Edward and I had been staying in.

It was the second time I had looked into a mirror and was speechless.

Before stood me a girl that looked like me but still didn’t. There were parts I could remember but others were strange, new. I looked like a familiar stranger. My hair had grown about two inches, waving out perfectly just past my elbows. The red tint was more prominent now and my hair was even more glossy and flawless than right after you get your hair cut and styled. My skin was a shade paler, but not too noticeable seeing how pale I was before. My lips were redder and fuller. I had curved that I never had before.

I was more angular. Something about my features gave me a more feline appeal. My eyes were ruby red but that did not startle me. Edward had explained to me about them before and I hoped they would turn to topaz quickly. My scars were gone. Not just the trio inflicted by Jacob but all scars I had ever acuminated. I was surprised to find I missed them. They had been a part of me. They had been my history.

I glanced sideways at Edward, who was also staring at my reflection. He felt my gaze and bent forward and kissed me. He kissed me just as before, careful, cautious, and calculated. I didn’t want that. When my hands when through his hair, I used my new strength to pull him closer through my own accordance and kissed him back fiercer than I could remember ever doing.

He was surprised but responded as I wanted him to. He sent a chill through me but it had nothing to do with his temperature, now that we had the same. The kiss had more force than we could ever had when I was human, for Edward would have been too afraid of breaking me. Just as I tried to yield his mouth open to mine, he pulled away and gave me my favorite crooked grin.

“Ready to go see the family. Alice is just about to murder me if I keep her and the others waiting much longer,”

I smiled back and him and said, “Let’s go,”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bathroom and downstairs. As we left, I looked back at my face’s reflection one last time and I couldn’t help but to miss the scars that had once been there.