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New Scars

Summary:
What would happen if Bella had gone home with Jacob the night after the movies, the night Jacob made his first transformation as a werewolf? And what effect would this have when Edward comes back in the picture? LAST CHAPTER UP!


Notes:
This story takes place right after Bella and Jacob drop Mike off at his house and Jacob is admitting he isn't feeling well. Page 218 in New Moon if you want to be exact


7. Chapter 7

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1884   Review this Chapter

It wasn’t like the time when I had chosen to give myself up to James. That was when I thought he had my mom and there was no way I was going to allow her to get hurt because of me. I also had to take action immediately. Back in Phoenix, I didn’t have much time to choose what to do. I was given a time limit. This time, I could procrastinate. I could have days, even weeks to make up my mind. No matter how much I wanted to protect the others, it didn’t stop the panic attacks that came across me when I thought about how I was really planning to die.


My time ran out over spring break when Jake and I were hanging out on Wednesday after my shift at the Newton’s. He picked me up on his motorcycle and we headed to First Beach. We were sitting at our spot, talking, when he told me.

“It’s getting worse,” Jacob said.

I looked at him in confusion. “What is?”

“The leeches that seem to be breeding in Seattle; Sam’s starting to predict they have up to twenty now.”

“That’s pretty serious,” I hadn’t realized things had gotten that bad, that fast. I mildly recalled hearing Charlie complain about something this morning while he was reading the newspaper. I wonder if this was it.

“Yah,” Jacob said, for the first time seeming to acknowledge out loud that whatever plan the pack had wasn’t going to last. “We can’t let this continue. Can you imagine the number getting any bigger?’

I shuddered at the unwelcome image. My nightmares didn’t need any fuel for them to get worst. They were terrifying enough as it was.

“So we’re going this Saturday,”

I whipped my head from staring out at the ocean to looking at Jacob incredulously. “This Saturday, when you’re that outnumbered? You’ll get yourself killed!” I couldn’t loose Jacob; I still needed him too much.

“Well what do you expect us to do?” he shot back angrily. “People are being murdered Bella! We can’t just step back and watch. We need to at least try to stop them. They’ll come and kill everyone if we don’t. They’ll kill you. You’re their number one target, unless you’ve forgotten. Our job is to be protectors, not spectators. That’s not who we are. That’s not who we’re supposed to be,”

“So what, you’re going to get yourself killed over something as stupid as pride?” I yelled back, now just as upset.

“What do you expect us to do?” Jacob’s hands were starting to shake. “People are dying and they will continue to die unless we do something. This has nothing to do with pride. I don’t want to be some hero! I don’t even want to be a werewolf but I am. You think I don’t know how bad the odds are? Do you think any of us don’t know that it’s a given that we’ll end up being killed, fighting up in Seattle?

“But what else can we do? Unless you have some mastermind plan you failed to mention to us,” Jacob’s voice finally broke and I could see the raw fear in his eyes. It was the same fear I had been feeling for the past week, trying to conceal so others wouldn’t see.

Tears started to brim in my eyes. Jacob was scared, and the rest of the pack probably was too though they would never admit it. I did the only thing I could. I stood and pulled Jacob into a hug. I held him tightly as he held me and took in a ragged breath. I buried my face into his heat radiating chest, his shirt absorbing the few tears that escaped.

We held each other like that for a while. It could have been minutes or it hours but all I was aware of was this giant body I had my arms wrapped around and I suddenly felt very protective of him. It didn’t make very much sense that I would be the one protecting him. Jacob had grown to a freakishly tall 6’ 7”. His face had also changed. His face was very mature looking. Also, Jacob now seemed to always wear this bitter mask on his face. I hated it but now I was starting to wonder if it was just a way to hide the buried pain that had just been revealed.

I wanted to take it away. I hated the thought of Jacob hurting. There was only one way I could take it away. I pulled away from Jacob and looked up at him. He smiled down at me in thanks. I smiled back, but mine had a bittersweet like to it. I was planning on taking Jake’s pain away, but in turn was going to deal him a new one. But it was worth it, I resolved. Better to have me dead than him anyways. He was still only sixteen, full of life and promise. I was still young at eighteen, but I was damaged. I was empty and there wasn’t much in me. Only sad leftovers of what I used to be. I had to leave tonight.

I was sitting in the kitchen rereading Wuthering Heights for old time’s sake, while I had a casserole baking in the over. I was just at the part when Heathcliff’s plan for Cathy and Linton to marry is being revealed when Charlie came through the door slowly. I heard his feet dragging slowly as he made his way through the hall, not even bothering to take his shoes off. I threw the book down and rushed to his side to see what was wrong.


Charlie’s appearance startled me. His face was drawn and there were dark circled under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in days. He only seemed to mildly notice me. “Dad, what happened?” I demanded.

Charlie looked down at me, his eyes so sad and full of sorrow it nearly broke my heart. After much struggle, he finally managed to say. “Harry died. Heart attack.”

I looked at Charlie’s grief stricken expression and remorse flooded through me. Harry Clearwater had been one of Charlie’s best friends. They were always going fishing together. I wasn’t close or knew Henry very well but I felt pain for Charlie, his wife Sue, and his children Seth and Leah. Leah was my age and Seth was only fourteen.

I offered Charlie the only kind of comfort I could offer. I hugged him, just like I had when I was little. He didn’t react at first, but then put his arms around me securely, like he was afraid to let go. Charlie finally broke away and headed upstairs to his bedroom.

I watched him go, my plans needing to be changed. This was horrible timing. It was going to be hard on Charlie in the first place, having to loose me, but now with Harry’s death, it seemed like it might be too much for him. I was going to have to leave soon, nonetheless. I had exhausted too much time. I had planned to leave for Seattle tonight but decided against it. Charlie needed me. I would stay one more night, but tomorrow I’m leaving.

ALICE ’S POV

I sat on the bed in the bedroom Jasper and I shared in Alaska staring dulled at the television which was tuned to E! News. I really couldn’t care less about how horribly dressed everyone was on the red carpet. Jasper was sitting in the corner at his desk reading. The house was eerily quiet and I didn’t like it. Jasper and I weren’t the only ones in the house but we might as well have been. Tanya’s coven along with Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle were out hunting. The only other one in the house besides us was Edward but he just sat in his room not doing anything. After disappearing for a couple of months doing God-knows-what, he came back only to hole himself up in his room again.

We all missed her. We all also missed Edward. He may be with us, but it wasn’t the same Edward. When he had been with her, she made him a whole new person. One that was laughing and always had a sparkle in his eyes that hadn’t been there the entire time I knew him. At first, I had been so certain he would cave. I thought it would happen in two months at most. But Edward was more stubborn than I thought. It was pointless; all he was doing was causing pain everywhere.

I was about to try another useless attempt to drag Edward out of his room and do something with me when I felt a vision wash over me.

I was standing in church at an alter. The whole room had a dreary atmosphere. I quickly scanned the faces of those in the room. They all wore deeply depressed expressions. I recognized some of the faces as a few people I had seen or met in Forks. Then I saw Charlie in the front pew. He looked like anything could break him. His eyes were bloodshot and there were huge bags under his eyes. He obviously hadn’t been able to sleep. I looked to his side, half expecting to see Bella sitting beside him, awkwardly trying to offer some type of comfort.

But she wasn’t there. The vision started to fade away and I looked through the church as quickly as I could trying to seek her out. I never could find her. Right before the vision completely disappeared, I saw the tears start to roll down Charlie’s face.

I came back to the present to see Jasper right next to me. He started to ask me what I saw but then it drawn on me, that vision was of a funeral with Charlie crying and Bella not there placating her father. Panicked, I quickly sought out Bella’s future. I could hear a warning growl from Edward’s room. He had specifically ordered me not to be looking for Bella but I thought this to be as good of an excuse as any.

Whatever I expecting to see in Bella’s future was not this because I didn’t see anything. There was nothing. Just blankness. It made not sense. I tried again but couldn’t find anything on her. It was like she no longer existed. Then I had another vision.

Edward stood in a brightly lit room, looking horrible. His eyes only held pain. He seemed to be radiating it and it hurt just to watch him. He wasn’t alone. There were others in the room, all vampires. They were dress in dark cloaks.

“I want you to kill me,” Edward said in a voice that echoed his sorrow but his tone was steady and unwavering.

Two of the cloaks laughed. I could see them in more detail now. One had snow white hair while the other’s hair was black. Marcus and Caius. Edward was in Italy, asking the Volturi to kill him.

I pulled back from the vision, Jasper still beside me only this time looking much more concerned. I ignored him and ran down the hall screaming “Edward!”