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Nightmare Angel

Summary:
Edward looks through Bella's window. He has been gone for six months, two weeks, a day, and five hours. He knows every minute because it hurts so much. All he wanted to do was see her one more time. What happens when he learns what he has done to the only one he will ever love? Image Hosted by ImageShack.us banner that actually shows up made by the FANtastic iris!


Notes:
This will switch between Edward's thoughts and Bella's. Disclaimer: I own nothing.


15. Thrall

Rating 5/5   Word Count 632   Review this Chapter

Oh, she is so beautiful. Does she know how stunned I am by her beauty? Does she know how she captivates my unworthy eyes?

“Bella, I swear to God I will never leave you again. On God and on the grave of my mother, I have and will always love you. I will never leave you again. There is nothing I regret more than leaving you. Nothing.”

“I fell for your crap once already. Look what became of that. Now I’m going to be alone forever, damnit! Did you ever think that maybe your sick games are the tiniest bit cruel! Did you ever think how much it hurts me every time I have to say that I’m not going to do the thing I want to do more than anything else! I can’t believe you love me, Edward. Can’t and won’t. No luck. You’ll have to go rip someone else’s life into little broken pieces.”

Her agitation was fascinating. Every movement, strong with its righteous rage, pulled me in deeper. It was difficult to frame a coherent sentence. Somehow, I managed. “Bella, there are two options. First, you can trust me. I will prove my love in any way you like. Second, you can order me away, and then we will both wallow in misery for all eternity. I swear I am not playing any game. I just can’t live without you, Bella. I need you.”

“Prove it. Prove you’re not lying.”

“Any way you wish.”

“Same way as before. Kill me.”

The words shattered my still heart. “Why?”

I don’t want to live without you. I can’t. I need you.”

“Then have me!”

“You’ll just leave again. I don’t want to go through that. You see, you don’t love me. Why would an angel like you love me?”

“You are an angel.”

“Pretty words. You always had them. I remember. Gilded lies. You don’t need them, you know. I’d swallow anything that came out of your mouth in that beautiful voice… I’m still in love with you. I always will be. But I can’t leave myself unprotected. I can’t let you rip up my soul, Edward. Take my body instead.”

“But then you’re doing to me what I did to you!” Not that I don’t deserve it, Angel. I deserve so much worse. But have mercy, beautiful love.

“No. It would only matter if you loved me.”

“Exactly! Killing you… what a ridiculous way to prove I love you! I could only do that if I could live without you. And I can’t.”

Her face hardens. Her beautiful eyes, still deep, now red instead of brown, close in agony. “You’ve been doing fine all this time.”

Her skin is so pale, especially right over her eyes. I can’t help but reach out a finger to stroke her face…

She jerks away. “There’s something worse than dying, Edward. And that’s living without you. Please, kill me. Please.”

She will never trust me again. If she can’t trust me, I must do as she says. Isn’t my own stubbornness what got us here in the first place.

“Very well. I’ll go ask Emmett and Carlisle to come in.”

Her eyes open. “Thank you,” she whispers, and the relief in her voice, the agony in her eyes, the weariness and sorrow…

I am determined. I will do this for her. And then I will follow her to whatever life is after for us. I must.

I am weak and detestable.

But I must do as she commands. I am helpless.

Fascinated, chained, bound.

I cannot break her heart again. I am fastened to this deed.

Thrall.