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Nightmare Angel

Summary:
Edward looks through Bella's window. He has been gone for six months, two weeks, a day, and five hours. He knows every minute because it hurts so much. All he wanted to do was see her one more time. What happens when he learns what he has done to the only one he will ever love? Image Hosted by ImageShack.us banner that actually shows up made by the FANtastic iris!


Notes:
This will switch between Edward's thoughts and Bella's. Disclaimer: I own nothing.


8. Killer

Rating 5/5   Word Count 591   Review this Chapter

I awaken in his arms, something I never thought I’d do again. I am ecstatic, no matter how much it hurts later. My heart is pounding in my chest, my breath coming heavy, my senses overly alert. I’d forgotten, or rather not permitted myself to remember, what an effect Edward had on me. Edward.

I can think the name! Edward!

What better way to spend my final hours on earth! I am healed.

I cannot fight anymore. What is the point? I just want to be with him. I love him.

“Edward.”

His eyes burn into mine. “You’re awake.”

“Yes.”

He releases me, pushing both of us to our feet. I ache without his touch. Unconsciously, I reach up a hand to touch his perfect face, before I realize what I am doing. Overstepping the boundaries, risking pain!

Bad, bad, Bella.

“Edward.” I stand just a few feet from him, awkwardly face to face on the kitchen floor.

He takes my hand in his, and my heart leaps.

Don’t hope, idiot! What are you trying to do to yourself! I thought you were done with pain! Don’t bother hoping. What is there to hope for?

“Bella. Bella, what’s wrong? You look awful.”

That concern could be for anyone, and no doubt I did look awful. Don’t you dare hope, Bella!

“I’m fine.” My voice convinces no one.

“You’re lying.”

But I’m not a liar. Not like him! He said he loved me, when he could not possibly. Look at him! He’s perfect, and I am underwhelmingly normal. Average in every way. What a ridiculous story. How could I ever have believed it?

Maybe I’m the biggest idiot in the world.

Or else he’s the best liar.

“Bella? Bella? Are you all right?”

“Do you expect me to be?”

The words were soft. I had sworn to myself I would not tell him of my suffering, but how could I possibly hide it? The pain permeated every part of my life. He would have found out eventually. Now I just had to end the pain once and for all.

But he didn’t sound guilty. He sounded confused. “Yes. What’s wrong?”

Everything. Specifically, nothing. All the nothing, surrounding, smothering me! I can’t stand the nothing.

“I missed you.”

Whoot! Bella wins understatement of the century award!!!!!!

I cannot read the expression on his face. He seems almost confused.

“You missed me?”

“Yes.”

This must be the wittiest conversation in the history of the world. I don’t want to stand here exchanging monosyllables, I want to throw myself into his arms. I don’t want to be careful, I don’t want to guard myself against the pain I know will come. I want his arms around me, his lips on mine.

But it is as though something stands between us. Like there is a barrier, a wall, keeping me from what I need. I know what it is. It is his indifference, and it stands impenetrable and eternal. He gazes at me, eyes cool, cold, uncaring, and for the first time I see the monster in his face. For the first time I understand his self-loathing, though I cannot bring myself to adore him any less. As he glares at me, I see the face he has tried so hard to keep away.

He slew my heart, but that is not all.

Killer.