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Please Don't Let Go

Summary:
Bella finds an old e-mail from Edward, and although she knows its content, she opens it anyways


Notes:
Well, it's supposed to be Bella, and it's after Edward left in New Moon, and she goes back through her e-mails and finds this one and remembers when she read it back when Edward still loved her (even though he always loved her)


1. Please Don't Let Go

Rating 4/5   Word Count 281   Review this Chapter

“I fear that I’ve fallen into a chasm; a deep pit of despair and self-hate. I’m not yet in Hell, because before their fiery tongues could devour me, something caught me.

Please don’t let go.”

I let my eyes flicker across the screen a few times more. I sit there so long the screen saver comes up, but even then I don’t move. I don’t even blink for I know that blinking alone could break the hold on my tears. No tears today, I’d promised myself, and I’d almost kept that promise too, but I’d scrolled down.

A monster waited there to tear at my heart. ‘He needed me,’ I thought. ‘He needed me as much as I needed him.’ The screen was going haywire…no, the tears had been cut loose, leaving burning trails on my cheeks.

The memory of the night I’d read it first was as clear as ever. How my heart had throbbed and ached. Tears had filled my eyes then too, but more so caressed my cheeks as they’d fallen.

I couldn’t see the little arrow when I clicked ‘reply’, nor could I tell if what I was saying was spelled correctly. All I knew was that I had to respond.

Who knew the story would be reversed? And I was not holding him, but rather he held me? He held me out of the cold and nothingness. Who knew when he left I’d fall? That I’d retreat? Who knew I’d be in pain every night, wrapping my arms around my waist, trying so hard to stay in one piece?

I didn’t know when I typed my reply and sent off my love. I didn’t know…

“I won’t. I’ll always love you.”

Who knew?