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Rosalie vs. Lauren: The Epic Battle of the Blondes

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p220/GinnyGirl333/BannerForNess-1.jpg From the moment they first laid eyes on each other, it was war. Both proud, both pretty, and both demanding dominance in the same tiny high school, it was inevitable that they would eventually clash. The thing is, no one expected it to be so vicious.Please Read and Review!!! :D

Alrighty guys, this is my first multi-chaptered fan-fiction story ever submitted under the heading 'Twilight.' I hope you guys like it! It is shallow and ditzy and stupid-seeming, but hey, that's comedy right? lol, read and review por favor!

4. All I Want For Christmas Is Your Utter Destruction

Rating 5/5   Word Count 6565   Review this Chapter

All I Want For Christmas Is Your Utter Destruction

Rosalie Hale:

Casually, I tightened the green-and-white scarf around my neck, and dropped my lip-gloss back into my Prada clutch. I puckered my red lips and blew a kiss at the mirror in my locker. Then I slammed it shut, and strolled confidently down the hall.

"Hey, Rosalie! Wait up!" a quick, soprano voice called from behind me.

I paused for Alice to catch up. She hurried over, her bright red mini-dress and black tights looking adorable with her spiky hair.

"Phase one is at exactly twelve forty-seven, correct?" she murmured to me, too soft and quick for any human to hear.

I nodded, "Yes. Don't screw it up."

She looked pained, "Is it really necessary to make Jasper . . . you know."

I glared at her, "Alice, my entire plan to ruin Lauren's life is based on her crush on your husband. It is beyond necessary for him to do what I say. And for you to go along with it."

"I don't want to," she pouted, "I'm all for making Lauren stop deciding to kiss my husband, but . . ."

"Alice," I gave her a warning look, "Jasper will do it. End of discussion."

"But does he really have to lead her on?" Alice persisted, "I mean, first of all, Jasper's never flirted with anyone but me, so he's totally inept. Second, he's my husband. And third, I don't want him too. Besides, this will only encourage her! I'll get even more nasty visions."

We walked into the lunchroom, and headed straight for our table. I answered her quietly, "Alice, he only has to compliment her once, and then he's done. Then he leaves, goes back to you, and I handle all the dirty work."

She huffed as she sat down, "He won't do it. I'll bet you anything he chickens out because he loves me too much."

"I love you too much?" Jasper grinned as he slid in beside her, "I'm sorry, would you like me to love you less?"

"No," she rolled her eyes and kissed him on the cheek, "Rose here is convinced you'll follow along with her plan to destroy Lauren's life. I said you wouldn't because you love me too much."

He looked at me incredulously, "You seriously, actually believe I will go flirt with Lauren?"

I smirked at him, "You will."

Alice threw her napkin at me, "No, he won't!"

"I won't," he agreed.

"Yes, you will," I leaned forward, "all you have to do is say, ‘wow Lauren, your shirt looks nice,' and then you walk away, go make out with your wife, and I handle everything else."

"I don't get how Jasper complimenting her will ruin Lauren's life," Edward frowned as he sat down, "how are you going to turn that into the worst thing ever?"

"She'll get her hopes up because she thinks Jasper's in love with her, and then I'll have it so when she walks around the corner tomorrow, she'll walk right into Jasper and Alice doing naughty things in the hallway" - Jasper and Alice simultaneously choked - "which will cause all her hopes to crash around her. Then, just to make it the worst day ever, she'll have something spilled on her shirt, a nasty rumor spread around school, and Tyler and Mike will magically quit paying attention to her."

All three of my siblings stared at me with something resembling horror.

"She ruined the Charity Ball," I reminded them, "she asked Jasper out, she spilled stuff on my dress, which meant I didn't win the award - which I totally deserved - and she still thinks she got away with it! I need to crush her!"

"But its almost Christmas," Edward pointed out, "shouldn't you be merciful towards the girl?"

"What girl - Lauren?" Emmett chuckled as he sat down.

"Hey baby," I kissed him, and then turned towards Jasper, "C'mon Jasper, you have to do this for me."

He shook his head, "No. Not a chance."

I kicked him under the table, "Jasper! Why not?"

"I am not leading her on. I'm not even going to talk to her if I can't help it," Jasper said firmly, "I have Alice, who means everything to me. Leading other girls on for your advantage is not something I will do."

I pouted, "Please? Its not like you have to kiss her - all you have to do is compliment her, and then I'll have her walk in on you and Alice making out. Please?"

He shook his head no.

"I'll do the whole have-her-walk-in-on-me-and-Jasper thing," Alice piped up, "I don't mind that at all. But I don't want Jasper to flirt wit her. This is between you and her, not Jasper and her."

Well, at least my annoying siblings would do that much for me.

"Fine," I decided, "I'll go chat with her, tell her you like her ugly shirt, and then tomorrow we'll crush her. It'll be my Christmas present to her."

"What a thoughtful present," Edward commented dryly.


I sauntered towards Lauren's clique after school with all the confidence of a goddess. She stood there, animatedly gossiping with Jessica, Mike, and Tyler, unaware that I was going to make her life a living hell.

"Lauren," I greeted her, faking warmth.

Her back stiffened, and she turned towards me with hate oozing from every pore in her face. Her thin, pale hair was wound up in a ballerina bun, making her already severe face look more elderly than usual.

"What do you want?" she snapped.

I shrugged gracefully, "Just wanted to say hi."

She didn't buy it for a second. Her eyes narrowed, and she crossed her arms in front of her.

"I like your shirt," I offered, lying through my teeth. Her shirt, a hideous pink polyester creation that made her look like a giant lollipop, actually made me want to beg Alice for a shopping spree.

"What do you want?" she repeated venomously.

Thinking quickly, I came up with an excuse to deliver ‘Jasper's' compliment, "Well, Alice and I were thinking of a little contest, per say, for tomorrow."

Jessica leaned closer. Lauren's eyes narrowed into slits.

"A beauty contest," I continued, forming plans at the speed of light, "whoever has the best look going into Winter Break gets the . . . satisfaction. We'll have judges and everything. Everyone will know about it."

Jessica squealed, "Oh my god, really?"

I nodded, biting my lip as though I had just divulged a life-or-death secret, "The winner will be decided based on hairstyle, make up, outfit, and accessories."

"Wait, this is going to be tomorrow?" Lauren said, disbelieving.

I rolled my eyes, "Tomorrow is the last day before Winter Break, isn't it?"

Jessica bounced up and down excitedly, "It should be Christmas themed!"

Idiot girl.


Lauren continued to look suspicious, "Who all is participating?"

"Every girl sophomore and below who wants to," I decided quickly, "the ‘show' will be at lunch, everyone who wants to be considered has to go to the judges' table."

"And who are the judges?" Lauren demanded.

I sighed, "Yet to be decided."

"Tyler's one of them!" Lauren quickly said.

"So is Edward!" Jessica shrieked.

I bit back the smart-ass retorts, "Fine, but to be fair, Jasper and Emmett have to be as well. And hell, we'll add Newton and Yorkie so that it's an even six."

Lauren considered this, "Okay. Everything is Christmas themed, the ‘show' will be at lunch at the judges' table, and winner gets the satisfaction."

"More or less," I smirked.

"Should be easy," she rolled her shoulders, "after all, I won the last fashion show we had. This one should be cake."

In your dreams.

I fake laughed, and then turned to leave, "Stanley, make sure everyone knows about it. Lauren, I wouldn't be so sure. We both know who's prettiest, correct?"

"Yeah, me," she sneered.

"If that makes you sleep better at night," I trailed off, and then strutted away. Smiling to myself, I threw over my shoulder, "Jasper likes your shirt, by the way."

With my excellent hearing, I heard her gasp. Jessica continued squealing.

Phase one, complete.


Alice and I looked each other over in the foyer, both of us with critical eyes and pursed lips.

She was wearing an emerald green silk mini dress with a high collar, long sleeves, and black trim. Her tights were black, as were her knee-high boots. A thick black belt cinched her teeny waist, making her look like a number eight.

She had lined her eyes with emerald eyeliner, and had liberally applied mascara. Her hair was spiked to perfection, and her eyes were sparkling. In my opinion she looked very nice.

But, of course, I was hotter.

Alice was beautiful, and striking with her edgy hair and preppy style, but I was the knock out. Always had been. Always will be.

"You look awesome," she squealed, throwing her arms around me, "you'll win that award for sure. And I'm getting second."

I smiled, and tucked a spiral curl behind my ear. I knew I was going to win.

My white layered tank tops, red skinny jeans, and gold heels, necklaces, and earrings made me look like a million bucks. I had carefully applied gold shimmering eye shadow to compliment my golden eyes, and slicked on the red glossy lipstick. My hair was curled and full, bouncing behind me as I sauntered towards the front door.

Emmett clapped excitedly as I slid into the passenger seat of Edward's Volvo, "I get to judge the hottest girls in school! How awesome is this?"

I shot him a death glare, "Emmett, who are you going to vote for?"

"The hottest girl," he grinned. When my eyes positively spat out death sparks of hate, he faltered and stammered, "which is, uh, you, of course. Heh."

Sometimes, my husband was a total moron. Luckily for him, his hunky-ness usually got him out of trouble.

"Why did you volunteer me as a judge, Rosalie?" Jasper groaned from the backseat. Alice giggled from her spot on his lap.

I smiled once at Emmett, and then snapped at Jasper, "So that you can both support your wife and destroy Lauren at the same time."

Alice piped up, "Can you go over the plan for today? I'm confused. Do me and Jazz still have to make out in the hallway so that Lauren can catch us?"

Edward rolled his eyes from beside me. I ignored him and ever-so-kindly began explaining my plan to ruin Lauren's life, "This morning I'll start a nasty rumor about her. Hopefully by lunch it'll have all gotten around. At exactly twelve thirty-two, as Lauren begins to make her way to the judges' table, Emmett will conveniently ‘spill' his minestrone soup all over her clothes. That will be my bitter revenge for the punch incident, and then it'll be too late to change, and I will be pronounced winner of the beauty contest. Alice, of course, will come in second."

Alice flashed a happy smile from the back seat.

"Immediately after lunch, as she storms off to the bathroom to clean herself up, she will run into Jasper and Alice being risky in the hall. But at the same time," I eyed them meaningfully, "they will be acting like they're usual soul mates, in-love-forever selves. Make it impossible for her to doubt it, okay?"

Jasper looked bored, but Alice kissed his cheek excitedly.

"When school is over she will look for her friends, but they'll all be with me," I continued, "they'll ignore her completely. She'll go home miserable, humiliated, and upset about Jasper. Then she'll spend all of Winter Break moping, wallowing in the fact that not only did I beat her, but I destroyed her."

My laugh bordered on a cackle, "She'll regret ever spilling punch on that dress."

The car was silent.

Edward drove into the Forks parking lot, his face slightly horrified.

I looked at them curiously, "What's wrong?"

Emmett rubbed the back of his neck, "Uh, remind me never to spill juice on you, okay Rosie?"

"You'd be sleeping on the couch for a year," I promised cheerfully.

He gulped.


Unsurprisingly, everyone in the school had heard about the beauty contest. Although Jessica Stanley irritated the hell out of me, I couldn't deny she had major connections in the gossip department. Like mother, like daughter. Mrs. Stanley was Forks' biggest, most irritating gossip.

I strutted confidently through the courtyard, making all the backpack toting, loser students move out the way, like the parting of the Red Sea. Sadly, no one lingered long enough for me to shoot my specialty glare-of-painful-acid-burning-miserable-death. Pity.

I passed Jasper on one of the rainy outdoor sidewalks. He looked at me, and then raised one eyebrow.

"The cafeteria is in the opposite direction," he murmured, so quiet only I could hear it.

"I'm letting everyone see my outfit," I hissed back, "the more people see me, the more they'll forget about the stupid blonde freshman."

He shot me one more disbelieving glance, but then continued onward. Jasper rarely understood my motives.

I continued walking, making sure that every single student that passed by me caught a glimpse of my goddess-like perfection. Luckily, hardly anyone could fail to notice me. Eyes loitered on my curves and lips, my body unconsciously shrieking sex appeal! Sex appeal! Sex appeal!

No, poor Lauren didn't have a chance.

When I reached the end of the sidewalk, where a small crowd of seniors was shifting around awkwardly, I flipped out my phone and pretended to check it for reception. It had a full five bars, but I rolled my eyes and tossed my hair as though it had no signal. Then I stuffed the phone back into my gold bag and began walking like a runway model back towards the cafeteria. I could feel the seniors' stares until I crisply, gracefully turned the corner.

The beauty contest judging was in ten minutes, but I had a few things to do before I watched Lauren's life fall apart.

First things first: beauty check. I ducked into the large building that housed the cafeteria, and quickly turned into the girl's bathroom. The bathroom had linoleum floors, fluorescent lights, and ugly beige stalls, but I ignored all that. It did have a mirror.

I carefully separated a few curls, and sprayed my hair with some good smelling de-frizz that I kept in my little gold purse. Of course my hair didn't need it, but I did enjoy the smell.

As I slicked on a new, bright coat of red lipstick, I head a few sophomores gossiping from the stalls.

"I know! Oh my god, did you have any idea?" Tea Otten exclaimed.

"No!" the other girl giggled, "who would have thought that Lauren Mallory made out with Eric Yorkie! That's like, beyond disgusting."

"Yeah, and its like, their secret thing! They do it all the time! Lauren must really like greasy hair . . ."

"And acne and Dungeons and Dragons," the other girl, who I knew was Ashley Taylor, snickered, "Eric Yorkie is like, the most disgusting, creepiest nerd ever. What a weird fetish."

"I will never look at her the same again," Tea giggled, "Lauren the creepy geek lover."

Ashley snorted, "There went her reputation."

I smirked, fluffed my hair one last time, and then turned on my five-inch gold heels and sauntered out the door.

Of course Ashley, Tea, and all the other kids at this school would never know that I was the source of this rumor. I had sent six different anonymous text messages to some of the loudest mouths in school, complete with a digitally created picture of Lauren and Eric slobbering on each other. It hadn't taken long to spread.

Unless Lauren could whip up some reputation-fixer fast, then she would be moping into Winter Break with everyone thinking over as a girl who sucks face with nerds. And there wasn't anything much worse than Eric Yorkie in this school. Not anything.

I headed directly towards my usual table with my siblings. All of them were sitting there, waiting for me expectantly. Alice and Emmett were bouncing excitedly, and Jasper and Edward were glaring at me. Of course they were. Jasper and Edward, especially Edward, didn't believe in fun.

"Hello family," I stood there cockily with a hand on my hip, "are we ready for the games to begin?"

Emmett rubbed his hands together, "When do I spill the soup?"

I checked my solid gold designer watch, "Six minutes. The judging is in six and a half. We can't give her the opportunity to change."

"Do I have to do this?" Edward asked, his tone both bored and hopeless.

"Yes," I snapped, "now, see where Tyler, Newton, and Yorkie are sitting? That's where you are going. You are going to sit in that chair, evaluate every girl that lines up in front of you, and then you're going to vote for me. Do you understand?"

He sighed, "You will owe me, Rosalie."

"I'll do some work on the Volvo," I promised.

"That was a good rumor by the way," Emmett waggled his eyebrows, "Lauren - the geek lover."

"Yeah, that was pure evil Rosalie," Alice agreed.

I smiled and flipped my curls, "I know."

Jasper looked pained, "You know, don't you think this isn't the slightest bit cruel? Ruining a girl's life just because she spilled punch on your dress?"

Of course this wasn't morally right. I was being a bitch. But who cared - she deserved it. She thought she was better than me, she was stalking Jasper, and she had utterly no respect for those above her.

"Just do what I tell you, Jasper," I growled, and then I saw Lauren enter the cafeteria from my peripheral vision, "and here we go. Edward, Jasper, take your places. Emmett, get ready."

Emmett grabbed the cup of inedible, cafeteria-made soup with both hands. He had a look of complete concentration on his boyish features.

Edward and Jasper stood fluidly, and walked towards the judging table. Both of them looked bored and irritated.

I smirked, and ordered to Emmett, "When I give you the signal, you dump. Got it?"

"Ma'am, yes ma'am," he saluted me, and then quickly grabbed the cup with both hands again.

"Here I go," I turned towards were Lauren was whispering with Jessica, "Alice, come with me."

"This is going to be good," she promised. That raised my confidence even higher - if Alice said it would be good, then it would be.

"Hey Lauren," I gracefully stepped in front of Jessica and sneered, "When you lose, don't worry. I'm sure Yorkie will comfort you."

She tensed; her lashes coated with so much mascara that it was a struggle to keep her eyes open. I kept my eyes wide and innocent, but my mouth twisted up in a rather evil smirk. I could almost see the quick thinking that was going on beneath her flaxen hair.

Then, she gasped, "Did you start that rumor?"

Jessica giggled from behind me, "Lauren the greasy nerd lover."

Lauren shot her a scalding look. Jessica tried, and failed, to mute her laughter. Lauren sighed, and resumed glaring at me.

"A rumor? Why, I thought it was true . . ." I trailed off meaningfully.

"Ew," Lauren spat, "Eric? That's so nasty!"

"Aw, you're on first-name basis now?" I clasped my hands together mockingly, "that's so cute."

She positively gnashed her teeth in anger, "I think he is one of the most disgusting, creepiest people at this school. There are far cuter guys here."

And she made the terrible mistake of glancing, intentionally or not, at Jasper.

"Eyes off my boyfriend," Alice snapped.

Lauren turned faint pink, and shot back, "He probably likes me better!"

I stared in amazement at the mentally unstable girl in front of me. Was she blind? Alice and Jasper were so nauseatingly meant for each other that it made me want to wretch. Sure, they were careful about PDA and all, but their emotional connection was sickening enough. How did Lauren not see that?

Alice made a tiny snarl, one only I could hear, and then said clearly, "Touch him, and you are dead."

And then she turned on her heel, and walked away with all the dignity her four foot, ten inch frame could muster.

Lauren tossed her hair, "She's bluffing. She's probably insecure because their relationship is so falling apart. He's totally into me."

I chose not to comment. I couldn't crush her hopes now - I needed Jasper and Alice's hallway stunt to do that later. Instead I checked my watch, "Oh, look. Judging starts in a minute - guess its time for me to win!"

"Lose," she corrected me snottily, "I'm winning."

"In your dreams," I scoffed, "now if you'll excuse me, I have some judges to impress."

"I'm going first," she said quickly, and started speed walking towards the judges table.

I smiled, made eye contact with Emmett, and winked. He beamed at me and stood up, the cup of Minestrone balanced carefully in his huge hands.

Lauren, prepare to be destroyed.

Mike Newton, who had taken charge of the whole judging thing, stood up and clapped his hands, "Hey, people! Its time for this beauty contest!"

The lunchroom quieted. The large gaggle of sluts - all of which were wearing too much make up and too little red, green, and white clothing - gasped and squealed. Mike called again for silence.

"Alright, so line up," Mike was clearly enjoying his job too much, "and when we've seen you all turn or whatever, we'll talk, and announce the winner of the Christmas beauty contest!"

A few people cheered. Most people just watched, mildly interested.

Mike sat back down to wait for Emmett, the sixth judge, to join them. Emmett walked towards the judges table, a big goofy smile on his face and the steaming minestrone sitting innocently in his hands.

Lauren slicked on a coat of fifty-cent lip-gloss, and shoved the tube back into the pocket of her red pleather mini-skirt. She was a walking advertisement for cheap, knockoff products.

Emmett got closer.

"Dude, hurry up!" Mike called, impatient to judge all the girls in the grade. Emmett sped up slightly.

Alice danced to my side, "He'll do excellently."

"He better," I replied, scrutinizing his every step.

My husband strolled forward and then, with all the grace of an uncoordinated human, theatrically tripped over his own foot and sent a tidal wave of minestrone soup towards Lauren's white polyester blouse.


Lauren paused in mid-sentence, her eyes widened in shock. Jessica, watching, gasped.

And then, as the brown broth of the soup formed a giant stain all over the front of her blouse, her left arm, and the front of her skirt, she began turning red. Chunks of vegetables and noodles slid down the front of her ensemble, a few skidding down her legs. Her teeth snapped shut.

Emmett chuckled, "Oops."

Exactly as I had told him too, he didn't bother to help her clean up. He just casually tossed the empty cup aside, vaulted himself over the judges' table, and sat in his seat between Edward and Mike.

The girls surrounding her giggled in embarrassment, all of them shuffling conspicuously away from her soupy clothes. A bit of broth had even managed to hit the tips of her pale hair. She held her arms out from her sides and pressed her lips angrily shut.

Like a psychic villain, she turned slowly and unleashed a look of pure hatred at me.

I winked.

"Kay, first up is Tea Otten!" Mike called, predictably oblivious to the fashion disaster that had just happened directly in front of him.

"Hey, you got to move!" Eric Yorkie hissed at Lauren, "you're dripping where the girls are supposed to turn."

"Shut up, you creepy geek," she retorted angrily. And then she stomped over to me, "I know you did this!

"Actually, I believe that was my boyfriend's doing," I said sweetly, pointing at where Emmett was carefully scrutinizing the girl who had been gossiping in the bathroom earlier, "he can be so clumsy sometimes." Only when he tries very hard to be.

"Look what you did to my outfit!" she shrieked, gesturing at her ruined blouse, mini-skirt, and sadly intact red shiny hooker boots, "it's ruined!"

I rolled my eyes, "Thank god. Its so cheap you were probably getting hives."

"Is this about the Charity Ball?" she demanded, her voice high-pitched, "because that was Tyler! That wasn't me!"

"Just like this was Emmett, not me?" I smirked.

She gaped, too angry and shocked to speak.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a beauty contest to win." I winked and left Lauren standing there like a soup-covered idiot.

"You need to do something to capture Tyler and Mike's attention," Alice murmured when I came to stand by her, "they're undecided."

I heard Lauren sputter from where I'd left her.

"No problem," I said nonchalantly.

Mike looked up from his list, and called up some other name. A shy redhead stepped forward.

"We're at the bottom of the list?" Alice asked.

I nodded, "Yes. You, then me. I want us to be the freshest in their minds."

We waited for the remaining girls to twirl, and move out of the way. Using my peripheral vision, I watched Lauren stubbornly use napkins to try and get rid of the minestrone. She was too curious as to the outcome of the beauty contest to actually leave.

"Uh, Lauren Mallory?" Mike looked up, perplexed.

"She forfeited," I called helpfully.

Lauren clenched her teeth, and crumpled one of her many napkins into a tiny ball.

Three girls later and things finally got interesting. "Alice Cullen!"

My sister smiled brilliantly, and danced towards the table. Jasper finally began paying attention. She twirled like a seasoned dancer, and blew each judge a kiss, to which Eric Yorkie appeared thrilled. Ew. He'd had a nasty crush on her since Halloween.

"Alright, and last but not least, Rosalie Hale," Mike looked up eagerly.

I took my time making my way towards the empty space in front of the judges' table. I shot Lauren a victorious grin, and then put my hand on my hip and slowly sauntered towards the judges.

Like a model on a catwalk I turned, struck a pose, and then turned again. I put today's supermodels to shame. Then, before Tyler and Mike could even think about who else to consider, I placed two slender hands on the table.

"Uh," Mike stuttered.

I leaned forward, giving them a purposeful glance at my cleavage, "You'll vote for me, right boys?" I asked, my voice soft and seductive.

Emmett made a noise in the back of his throat, but I ignored him. I'd make it up to him later.

"Uh," Mike and Tyler stuttered together, spastically nodding.

I straightened up, and gave each of them one heavy lidded, come-hither look, "Good boys."

They gulped in unison.

I turned and walked away, allowing my hips to swing and giving them a nice view of my ass. These red pants made it look perkier than usual.

It took Mike a minute to compose himself. When he did, he stood up and began speaking to the lunchroom again. Everyone fell quiet, "Okay, so now we're all going to cast our votes. Um, we'll go down the table, so Eric, you're first."

"Alice Cullen," Eric said immediately.

I watched, amused, as Jasper frowned at him and Alice smiled.

"Tyler?" Mike turned to the guy on his left.

"Rosalie Hale," Tyler mumbled. His eyes were dazed, unfocused. Ha, the idiot couldn't handle any girl attention.

"Okay, I vote for Rosalie too," Mike agreed, glancing longingly at my boobs, "Cullen?"

Emmett luckily hadn't noticed Mike's staring, and beamed at me, "Rose, of course!"

I raised my eyebrows naughtily at him. He noticed the look, and quickly beamed. He'd be getting lucky tonight.

"Cullen?" Mike asked Edward.

"Rosalie," Edward said in his musical voice. Only I could tell the hint of a grumble that existed in his tone.

Mike tallied in his head, "That's four votes for Rosalie, and one for Alice. But, um, what's your vote Hale?"

Jasper looked at him as though he was psychotic, "Alice."

Lauren sputtered again.

"So . . ." Mike struggled with the numbers, "That's four votes Rosalie, and two for Alice. So that means that the winner of the Christmas beauty contest is . . . Rosalie Hale!"

Of course. I earned that title. Even a blind person could see that I was the most beautiful person here.

People cheered and clapped. Even kids who were sitting at tables, hardly paying attention, stared at me and applauded. I curtsied, and blew kisses to the crowd.

"We really liked her pants," Mike added, "and the shoes."

Of course my skintight red pants and strappy gold stilettos would gain male approval. I was practically illegal the way I was dressed.

"Whoo! Go Rosalie!" a few guys in the back shouted. I turned and winked at them, and their cheers grew louder.

Throughout all of the applause, I had been carefully keeping tabs as Lauren first turned red, then white, and then red again. Her thin lips were pressed together, her napkins were all over the floor, and her shirt still looked like somebody had puked on it. Utterly unattractive.

The applause continued as I sashayed towards the judges' table, and then bent over and muttered to Jasper, "You and Alice need to be in position when the bell rings. I'll keep Lauren occupied until everyone leaves, and then as she goes to the girls bathroom, she'll run into you two."

He shot me a scathing, but agreeing look. He'd follow through with it because Alice had made him promise.

I straightened back up, and smiled again at the cheers. To prolong it even further I wrapped a curl around my finger, flashed a blinding grin, and sucked in my permanently flat stomach.

Two minutes until the bell rang.

In a move clearly meant to make the crowd shut up, I smiled one last time, and then walked purposefully away from the little cluster of people. Lauren was my target.

"This contest was mine," she spat, "you cheating bitch!"

I raised my eyebrows, "Bitter much?"

The last of the applause died off. Students began moving to pick up their trays, a few still casting envious looks at my gorgeous physique.

"My outfit and reputation are destroyed, thanks to you," she hissed, "who do you think you are? You know I'll ruin you for this!"

I snorted. Lauren, ruin me? Not a chance.

"I will!" she insisted venomously, "just you watch."

I rolled my eyes, "Please. You're style is tacky and cheap, you're stupid boyfriend likes me better than you, and as far as everyone else knows, you suck face with Eric Yorkie. What can you do to even touch me?"

"I can spread rumors too, you know," she snapped, "I already beat you once at the Charity Ball - and it wasn't that hard. I'm sure I can do it again."

"Au contraire," I smirked, "I'm the new Queen here Lauren, face it."

Her back stiffened, "You are not!"

Students began leaving the cafeteria, preparing to go to class. I smiled condescendingly at Lauren; "I just won a beauty contest, while you're covered in soup and everyone thinks you're in love with Eric Yorkie. What does that say?"

"That you're a cheating jealous cow!" she shrieked.

Wow. She was getting hysterical. I wondered absently if she would be able to handle the rest of the awful day I had planned for her.

A few nasty insults later, and the bell rang. The cafeteria emptied, and I shot her a cold look, "Go clean yourself up. No one wants to be a food-covered loser."

She shot me a nasty look, and then spun around and stomped through the tables, finally reaching the doors that led to the empty hallway.

Ghostlike and silent, I followed.

The girls bathroom was located right outside the door to the cafeteria. Hopefully, Jasper and Alice would be there, impossible to miss.

Sure enough, Lauren gasped and stuttered to a halt.

I blurred towards the door, and then grinned satisfactorily. Alice had Jasper pressed up against some lockers, standing on her tiptoes on his shoes, her lips pressed against his and her arms around his neck. His hands were carefully wrapped around her waist in an impossibly sweet, protective gesture. They looked perfect together.

Soup-covered Lauren stood there, shocked and angry, her fists trembling with fury.

"Ah-hem," I coughed. They pulled apart and glanced at me..

Alice giggled and spun around, catching Jasper by his hand, "Hey, Rose."

"Ditching class?" I asked, winking.

Alice shrugged, "Maybe. I don't know, you want to ditch, Jazz?"

Lauren's nostrils flared when Alice said ‘Jazz.'

He lightly pulled her back into his arms, his eyes smoldering, "English lit isn't that important."

It was like I could hear the sound of Lauren's heart shattering. Music to my ears.

"Well, don't let me stop you," I smirked, "I have a beauty contest award to flaunt."

Lauren choked.


My day of destroying Lauren's life was nearly complete. All that was left on my to-do list was to steal her friends and gloat as she moped on home to celebrate Christmas as a friendless dork. Piece of cake.

When the final bell rang I hurried out to the front of the school, and waited.

Lauren's friends - Tyler, Mike, and Jessica - were shallow enough that drawing their attention and keeping it shouldn't be too hard. I had a plan for each of them.

Jessica came out first. In honor of the Christmas beauty contest she had worn a green, shiny-looking long sleeved shirt, a red denim mini, and strange green rain boots. She looked awful.

But, I had to associate myself with her in order to ruin Lauren's life.

"Hey, Jessica!" I called out, waving to her.

She saw me, beamed wildly, and hurried over, "Hi Rosalie! What's up?"

"My brother was talking about you the other day," I said nonchalantly, "I was just wondering, what did you do to get him to notice you?"

Her eyes grew round as hubcaps, "Edward?"

I nodded slowly.

"Oh my god, what did he say? Does he like me? Does he think I'm pretty?" she shrieked, "tell me everything!"

God, this girl was desperate.

"Oh, nothing too much," I shrugged, "he liked your dress at the Charity Ball last month."

‘Liked' was a rather loose interpretation. His actual statement had been, ‘she looks like the spawn of a disturbing union between Big Bird and a banana.' But, I would stretch the truth in order to gain Jessica's worthless approval.

She gasped, "He did? Oh, I'll have to wear that to the Valentine's dance in February too! Maybe he'll ask me out!"

"Maybe," I lied, "hey, there's Tyler."

She was too busy rattling off the various reasons Edward must like her to notice that I had waved Tyler over. He slouched towards us.

"Uh, hey Rosalie," he said awkwardly.

"Hey Tyler," I looked deep into his eyes, "how did you like the beauty contest? I saw at least six girls staring at you up at that judges table . . ."

He turned bright red, "Uh - wait, no - I mean . . . really?"

"Yeah," I maintained the intense eye contact, "you're so popular with the ladies. How do you do it?"

His hands flew up to rub his neck, and then back down, and then he shoved one in his pocket and used the other to nervously muss his hair, "Um . . . uh, heh no idea."

I smiled seductively, "You looked so sexy up there."

And that was all it took. He went slack-jawed, and his eyes faded slightly. He'd follow me anywhere now.

Ah, the delightful power I had over boys.

Mike was next. He spotted Tyler standing with a babbling Jessica and myself, and nervously joined us.

"Hi Mike," I acted thrilled to see him, "you were the best judge today! It was incredible!"

Mike was even more pathetic than Tyler.

"Wha - what?" he stammered.

I leaned slightly closer, "I was so impressed. You are amazing."

And his brain function ceased, his mouth opened, and he stared at me like I was a goddess. Easy as pie.

" - but I mean, do you think he likes brunettes? Cause I saw him looking at that stupid red-head senior the other day, which was so annoying. I mean, its obvious he's in love with me, why can't he just admit it and ask me out? Maybe I should wear that dress to school. He probably wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me," Jessica blathered.

I tuned her out, pretended Mike and Tyler weren't gawking at me, and scanned the area for my stupid freshman nemesis.


Lauren stood by the bike rack, her outfit still covered in that unfortunate brown soup stain. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks were red, and her body was so tense I was surprised she hadn't hurt herself.

I waved to her sarcastically.

Her mouth opened in fury, her eyes taking in the fact that I was standing with all three of her friends, who were visibly worshipping me. Then she straightened up slightly, glared at me with all the hate she could muster, and turned to leave.

"Have a good winter break, Lauren!" I called.

She didn't turn around, but her hands twisted into fists and I heard her mutter, "Now, its war."

She climbed into the passenger seat of her mother's car, and glowered at me. Her rage-filled, fishy eyes were fixed on me until the car turned out of the parking lot.

I walked away from Tyler, Mike, and Jessica, and slid easily into the front passenger seat of the Volvo.

My siblings were waiting.

"I won," I tossed out casually.