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Rosalie vs. Lauren: The Epic Battle of the Blondes

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p220/GinnyGirl333/BannerForNess-1.jpg From the moment they first laid eyes on each other, it was war. Both proud, both pretty, and both demanding dominance in the same tiny high school, it was inevitable that they would eventually clash. The thing is, no one expected it to be so vicious.Please Read and Review!!! :D

Alrighty guys, this is my first multi-chaptered fan-fiction story ever submitted under the heading 'Twilight.' I hope you guys like it! It is shallow and ditzy and stupid-seeming, but hey, that's comedy right? lol, read and review por favor!

6. Fun in the Lack of Sun

Rating 0/5   Word Count 5876   Review this Chapter

Fun in the Lack of Sun

Rosalie Hale:

In March, the freshman and sophomore biology classes went to the beach to study tide pools. Individual ecosystems, thriving in perfect conditions for vibrant colors and an extraordinary amount of life . . . and a perfect opportunity to pay Lauren Mallory back for the Valentines Dance.

I had stewed for weeks, awaiting the opportunity to unleash my fury. Now, it had arrived.

Eric Yorkie’s bacteria infested saliva had scarred me for the rest of eternity. Even after scrubbing my face for six hours straight with pure bleach, I still could feel the slime. Emmett refused to touch me for three whole days, claiming I was officially soiled. I loathed myself. I despised Lauren. I detested Yorkie.

Eventually, the humiliation faded. My mouth tasted like damp toilet paper for weeks, but my pride built itself back up much more quickly.

Soon, the pit of revulsion in my stomach was replaced by the bitter taste of wrath.

I was pissed.

The day of the field trip dawned overcast and rainy. It was perfect for the master plan I had hatched. I pulled on my revealing swimsuit with a devious grin on my face. Lauren Mallory would pay.

I knew we would be outside, so I made sure to wear waterproof make up. I left my hair in tangles, knowing that the rain would turn it into bleach blonde, surfer girl sexiness.

The car ride to school was utterly silent. My siblings were terrified of me, and the rage that slithered off of me like tendrils of smoke. Only Emmett seemed at ease.

“Er, you wanted us to wear swimsuits, right?” Alice asked tentatively.

“Yes,” I growled.

It was only going to be around forty degrees, but it was imperative to my plan that all the Cullens wear swimsuits. Lauren, if I knew anything about her, would wear a bikini just to show off.

Biology met in the parking lot, and eventually the teachers ushered us onto the busses. I strutted on with a flip of my messy, tangled hair, making direct eye contact with all the stupid teenagers that dared to look at me as I passed.

Forks High School would wither with fright when it saw how absolutely enraged I was.

My siblings and I intimidated all the stupid sophomores that had tried to sit on the very back seat, and we instantly claimed the back two rows. Emmett beamed and hummed to himself while I sat with my arms crossed, glaring at the stupidity of the bus ride. Girls gossiped, boys punched each other, and Lauren Mallory’s fake blonde hair shone sickeningly from the very front of the bus.

I hated her.

Her white hair looked positively grandmotherly, and her pale skin gave her a sickly pallor. Obviously, she had run out of rub-on tanning solution. Jessica Stanley sat beside her, giggling and squealing over variously stupid topics of conversation.

Lauren maintained a cool, aloof expression, her malicious eyes betraying the triumph that danced about in her soul.

I wanted nothing more than to rip that triumph out through her nostrils and watch her bleed to death on the floor.

Rosalie,” Edward hissed.

I shot him a look that clearly told him to shut the hell up. He rolled his eyes and looked out the window at the passing forest, his body language displaying his irritation with me.

Who cared about stupid Edward?

I didn’t.

All I wanted was to watch Lauren beg and scream for mercy while I caused her physical and emotional torment.

Jasper shifted uneasily in the seat in front of me, and Alice whispered something in his ear. I realized I was probably making him uncomfortable with the fury pulsing through my veins.

I also realized I didn’t care, and that Jasper could suck it up and deal with my anger. He had been suffering through it since Valentines, and he would suffer through it a bit longer.

Lauren would be destroyed by lunchtime, and then I would be perfectly content and happy.

The biology teacher, Mr. Mackentire, or something like that, was an ugly, balding, middle aged man with a sweating problem and a love for single celled organisms. I looked at him contemptuously as he tried to quiz students on facts from his perch opposite Lauren.

Unsurprisingly, no one felt like answering his hopeful questions, and the noisy bus drove directly to the beach without learning any new scientific information.

Science was simple – revenge, not so much.

The bus pulled up to the dreary bus an annoyingly long time after it had left Forks. I wrinkled my nose at the stacks of logs and such that littered the sand. Luckily, the school had not traveled to La Push. Unfortunately, the beaches outside of La Push were simply not as attractive.

Lauren was the first to exit the bus. I was the last. I made sure to walk down the steps with confidence, my hips swaying and my eyes narrowed and focused on a point in the distance. She looked like a preppy teenager; I looked like a runway model.

The class gathered around Mr. Mackentire, but I hung back. I looked bored and haughty and utterly sexy, and I knew it.

Still, people edged away from me. I was contaminated by the ever-so-repulsive Eric Yorkie.

Frustrated, I half listened to the teacher talk and have scanned the crowd of shivering, unattractive teenagers. Lauren stood, hands on hips, her eyes firmly attached to Jasper’s chest. Her pin-straight hair was pulled into a severe ponytail. Her pink sweatshirt and tight jeans made her look exactly like every other girl her age. Even her ugly beige boots, lined with fur, reeked of stereotypes.

I frowned, knowing I was dressed so much better. My jeans vanished into real pink leather boots trimmed with black stitches, and my tight pink sweater was edged with naughty black lace. My tangles of golden hair stood out prominently against the magenta cashmere. I was beautiful – so why wasn’t everyone looking at me?

Oh, right. Eric Yorkie germs.

I slicked on a coat of pink lipstick and pouted, hoping my sex appeal would attract at least a few sidelong glances. But no one looked.

The teacher, who was beaming with excitement, finished his lecture and told us to go sketch tide pools, or something stupid like that. I scoffed scornfully and readjusted the single braid in my hair, mixed with the beach-perfect waves.

“Hey Yorkie – sketch with your girlfriend!” Lauren’s idiot boyfriend Tyler shouted as everyone dispersed, gesturing pointedly at me.

I stiffened and gave him a glare of pure death. Yorkie just looked morosely at Alice, who was happily receiving a piggyback from Jasper.

Everyone vanished to their respective tide pools, and I was left standing alone by the bus.

Many things I may be, but I was not a friendless loser.

I hurried to catch up with Emmett, who had run off to a tide pool in his excitement. Quickly and quietly, I harshly berated him for his stupidity and then sketched a rough picture of the tide pool.

My plan for Lauren’s humiliation, which all of my siblings would be forced to participate in, was set to happen during lunch. Mr. Mackentire had a longtime smoking addiction, something I would take full advantage of. Those ten minutes where he would abandon his class and slip off into the woods were designated to be my ten minutes of glory.

“You understand what I’m saying, right?” I snapped at my idiotic husband as he gleefully prodded a starfish.

“Yeah, Rosie,” he bobbed his head, “I just strip down and dive into the ocean with you – piece of cake.”

I frowned at him doubtfully, and then went off to reiterate the plan to Alice and Jasper. This could not go wrong. I refused to be associated with Eric Yorkie any longer.

“This still sounds like Baywatch, Rosalie,” Edward groaned when I cornered him at a tide pool.

I shot him a sweet smile, “Did I ask your opinion? No, I demanded you say nothing at all, and do what I tell you.”

He pursed his lips and tapped his pencil against his sketchpad, “I think you are falling apart with jealousy over this Mallory girl. She’s clearly not worth it. Perhaps you need to take a minute to step back and see what she’s doing to you.”

“Shut up Edward,” I snapped, “you have no idea what you’re talking about. Ninety year old virgin, remember? Just do what I say.”

Before he could spout off any more unfounded words of wisdom I stood up, tossed my hair, and returned to where Emmett was being a moron.

The class continued teetering around the tide pools for well over an hour. The enthusiastic nerds took water samples and compared species and recorded detailed, scientific notes. I sat on a rock and glared loftily at the scene before me. Whenever Mr. Mackentire looked my way I would pretend to be busily engaged in my sketchbook.

Really, all I was doing was plotting revenge.

If my siblings could pull this off – with the right attitudes – then everything else would fall into place. Lauren, if I knew anything about the conniving little bitch, would want to join in. In fact, her entire clique would probably want to jump right along with us. Stanley especially.

Unluckily for them, the Pacific Ocean was downright freezing right now.

Only a vampire could withstand the glacial temperatures for more than a few minutes.

Which meant either Lauren would jump right out and look like a weak, humiliated wretch, or she would try and act tough by sticking it out, and then get hypothermia and die.

Honestly, either option was fine with me.

“Alright, lunchtime!” Mr. Mackentire clapped his hands and pointed at the fire pit, which was surrounded by logs meant to look like benches.

The students streamed eagerly towards the lunch area. I sauntered over, exuding an air of nonchalance, and settled myself on Emmett’s lap. He grinned and wrapped his arms around me for a minute.

Alice, Jasper, and Edward reluctantly pulled their lunch bags out of Alice’s enormous purse. Unfortunately, due to the small size of the class, eating human food was going to be an unavoidable part of this miserable field trip.

I, however, had a rather devious idea.

“Wow Edward,” I exclaimed loudly, my clear voice catching everyone’s attention, “I had no idea you were so hungry today! Here, you can have my lunch. Are you going through another growth spurt again?”

Everyone covertly watched the exchange. Interactions between my family were usually considered highly fascinating. This lunch drama was no exception.

I tossed the paper sack towards him, “Eat up.”

He caught it, and gave me a look that could have incinerated a family of small rodents, “Thanks, Rosalie.”

“Don’t mention it,” I winked at him, “I had a big breakfast.”

Emmett guffawed, his heaving laughter rumbling through his entire body. I felt too smug for my own good.

“You can have mine too, Edward,” Alice offered cheerfully, tossing her sack lunch at the thoroughly pissed redheaded vampire, “I know how moody you get when you’re not well-fed.”

“Mine as well,” Jasper’s slow, southern smile made his golden eyes glint mischievously, “I wouldn’t want you to snap at Esme later for not packing you a decent lunch.”

So there Edward sat, weighed down with four paper sacks of nauseating human food. The entire class watched him, curious as to why his family had so kindly sacrificed their hunger for his enormous appetite.

He gave me a look that clearly said I would pay later on – I was so not afraid of him – and then pulled out a turkey sandwich, barely grimaced, and took a bite.

Eventually, the class lost interest. But every once in a while someone would glance over, and Edward would be forced to eat just a little bit more.

Emmett, underneath me, ate his entire lunch without batting an eye. He probably would have eaten the paper sack if I hadn’t taken it from him. Emmett’s stomach was lined with steel; he could eat anything, throw it back up, and not be bothered in the slightest.

But Edward was a baby, and hated eating human food more than almost anything. It made me so happy to see him suffer.

No one doubts my sanity, and gets away with it.

I glanced over at Lauren Mallory’s clique, who had been as fascinated by our little Cullen lunch drama as everyone else, and saw that Jessica Stanley was freaking out over something. Her hands were flying about, her mouth was moving at rapid speeds, and her hair was getting progressively frizzier.

Curious, I stared out over the ocean and tried my hardest to hear Stanley’s irritating voice over all the others.

“ . . .. so unbelievable! I mean, a growth spurt! He’s not done transforming into his most beautiful self! Lauren, you’re always saying he’s a scrawny little nothing, but he’s still growing. Jasper’s obviously done, he looks like he’s in his twenties, but Edward still can get even more perfect! Oh my god! Can you even imagine what he’ll look like as a senior? Beautiful!”

I sniggered to myself, both at Jessica Stanley’s stupidity and Edward’s upcoming humiliation. Edward wouldn’t change one bit between now and senior year. Jessica Stanley would have all her hopes and expectations dashed, and be ultimately disappointed in him.

Oh, life was sweet. Edward inherently believed he was a godlike, beautiful creature. To have someone like Jessica Stanley be disappointed in his appearance would be too much to handle.

“What’s so funny?” Emmett asked curiously.

“Edward is an idiot,” I replied happily, wrapping my arms around his neck, “and Stanley is too.”

“And Mallory,” he added helpfully.

“And Mallory,” I agreed, “speaking of, my plan will start soon. Look – Mackentire is already fidgeting around. When he leaves, we’ll begin.”

Emmett rubbed his ands together, “This will be so awesome.”

“Of course,” I rolled my eyes, “all of my evil schemes are awesome.”

Alice leaned over, her golden eyes sparkling beneath her carefully arranged, tangled black bangs, “Who’s going to begin?”

“You are,” I decided, “you’re the most bubbly – it only makes sense. But Alice, remember, you have to act clingy around Jasper. Lauren’s going to lose her brain when she sees Jasper shirtless. You need to counteract that.”

“Psh,” Alice waved the idea off, “are you kidding? I’ve got this one covered. I know how to stake my claim.”

Jasper raised his eyebrows, “Has anyone ever considered the idea that I am not interested in her, and I’m fairly clear about it?”

“Your chest speaks more than your obvious hatred,” I said dismissively, “so just let Alice manhandle you, please. Lauren needs to be more focused on us, as a whole, rather than just you.”

Jasper shuddered. Alice intertwined her fingers in his, squeezing his hand with understanding.

I looked away. I always hated how unbelievably deep their connection was. I felt intrusive, awkward, and inexperienced around such levels of love and trust.

My relationship was about passion, attractiveness, and blatant honesty. Alice and Jasper had something far deeper, something almost beyond love. They found wholeness in each other.

I was complete in myself, and I was complete with Emmett. We functioned as separate individuals and as a pair. Alice and Jasper could not be separated, and would not even consider acting, speaking, or even breathing without the other’s approval and understanding. So really, maybe they had the unhealthy relationship of the family . . .

Edward tossed a sack at me, “Get over yourself, Rosalie.”

I threw it right back at him, “Shut up and eat the lunch you begged for, Edward.”

He glared murderously at me.

Suddenly Mr. Mackentire stood up, twisting his hands together and sweating slightly, “Er – hey kids!”

Everybody turned to look at him. He smiled uncomfortably, “You guys eat your lunch, I’m going to go back to the parking lot to speak to the bus driver. Can you all handle ten, fifteen minutes by yourselves?”

Most students shrugged and nodded.

He beamed, “Great! I’ll be right back.”

“He’s not fooling anybody,” I muttered under my breath.

He disappeared down the little trail that led to the parking lot. I highly doubted the bus driver would be seeing him at all.

The second his ugly orange rain jacket faded into the trees, I shot Alice a look. “Now.”

My tiny, pseudo-sister took a breath, and then stood up on the log and stretched her arms out, “Thank goodness he’s gone. Now we can finally have some fun!”

Her high pitched, chiming voice caught everyone’s attention. Lauren Mallory watched her out of the corner of her eye.

“C’mon you guys – let’s go swimming!” Alice clapped.

“Swimming?” Tyler Crowley dropped his jaw in disbelief, “it’s like, negative sixty degrees in there!”

“So?” Alice put a hand on her hip, “afraid of a little cold, are we?”

He just stared at her, shocked. Jessica Stanley stood up excitedly, “I’ll go swimming! I even brought my bathing suit!”

Promptly, she took off her sweatshirt and threw it in the sand. Her ugly, shiny, yellow halter-top bikini brought back memories of her big bird dress.

I wrinkled my nose. What an unfortunate person.

Alice slipped off her soft, slouchy turquoise sweater and dark jeans, revealing her little black one-piece swimsuit with intricate, swirling cut-outs. Black ribbons tied the garment together at her waist, neck, and back.

“C’mon!” Alice gestured at everyone else to join her.

I stood up, grabbed Emmett’s hand, and pulled him up with me. “I’ll go,” I announced, and began slowly, seductively taking off my boots.

“Edward!” I hissed out of the corner of my mouth.

He heaved a great sigh, and then stood up and pulled off his jacket. “I’ll go too,” he muttered.

Alice and Jessica ran together towards the ocean. Jessica splashed in immediately, her flailing body causing great arcs of water to fly into the air. When she surfaced her hair, usually giant and poufy, was plastered to her head.

Alice dove in far more gracefully. When she appeared above the water her face was stretched into an enormous, irresistibly happy grin.

I slipped off my jeans and pink sweater. My bikini, which was red, of course, was hardly a few square inches of fabric held together by scarlet and black braided cords. My perfect, sculpted body was hardly concealed at all. I felt eight different pairs of eyes zero in on my chest the minute I pulled my sweater over my head.

“Hot damn,” Emmett whistled.

I helped him take his shirt off. His red board shorts matched my bikini perfectly. More importantly, his dark curls and playful grin made him look just like the male model I knew he could be.

He picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, and ran towards the ocean. I shrieked with laughter, and for one second, felt actually happy as we both vanished underneath the surface of the water together.

When I popped up, three other Forks high school students had stripped down to their swimsuits and were tentatively getting ready to step in. Jessica Stanley, whose entire face was turning blue, was pretending to have beachy fun. Her eyes were on Edward the entire time.

My moody, prepubescent brother dove into the ocean with a resigned expression on his face. When he resurfaced, Emmett promptly dunked him.

“Got you!” Emmett bellowed excitedly.

Edward sputtered indignantly, and then tried to do the same to Emmett. To my relief they began a dunking war. Mike and Tyler, who had to get in the water for my plan to work, would want to join in.

Just as I expected, Mike and Tyler shrugged and hurried to the ocean’s edge. Wincing at the coming cold, they jumped in together.

Lauren was standing, arms crossed, watching the spectacle with narrowed eyes. I could tell she wanted to join in, wanted to show off her tacky bikini and boyish body. However, I also knew she didn’t want to look like a follower. I had done it first, so she couldn’t mimic me.

Which was why I needed Jasper.

“Alice!” I called. When she looked at me, I tilted my head towards Jasper.

She beamed, and then hurried out of the ocean and up towards where my ‘twin’ was sitting on the log, his hands in his pockets and a wry smile on his face.

“Come on, come on, come on!” Alice chirped excitedly, grabbing his hand and tugging at it.

Lauren watched the entire thing with suspicious, beady eyes. Jasper chuckled and shook his head no, pretending to decline Alice’s request.

It was strange, almost. Even though I knew he was only acting, I had never seen Jasper refuse Alice anything.

Of course, she won the mock battle. With a peck on the lips and a few bats of her eyelashes, she managed to get him standing and shirtless. Then she clasped his hand and pulled him toward the ocean with her.

When Lauren saw Jasper’s body – which was nothing compared to Emmett’s – she gasped and her cheeks turned red. Then, with a determined expression on her peaky face, she took off her sweatshirt and pulled off her boots.


Lauren’s bikini was nothing compared to mine, of course. Hers was meant to look like denim, although the end result was tacky and polyester looking. The bottoms included a little ruffled fake denim mini skirt. I could just see her wearing cowboy boots and a cowboy hat with the little ensemble, and looking like a skank of a cowgirl hick.

Pathetic, really. I was the sultry, sexy seductress while she was a little preteen country bumpkin.

I laughed and splashed Edward, pretending to have all sorts of beachy, Miami fun. Lauren strutted towards the water’s edge as if everyone was staring at her.

Tyler and Mike whistled for her, which made me grit my teeth with rage, but she just tossed her hair and placed her hands on her hips.

What a bimbo.

Jessica Stanley, Mike, and Tyler all looked appropriately freezing and miserable, but determined to stay in and look as carefree and happy as my family. Lauren took a deep breath, ran her hand through her pin straight ponytail, and then dove in.

Her entrance was more graceful than Jessica’s, but not nearly as flawless as Alice’s or as playful and flirty as mine. She popped up and gasped, her lips blue and her mascara running in streaks down her face.

I waited exactly thirty seconds. If she could stay in for thirty seconds and attempt to outshine me, then everything would work out.

But Lauren did better than that. She grabbed Tyler’s hand and swam out much further than we had, her body shaking and her teeth chattering. Tyler looked miserable. They went out so far that really, my life got one hundred times easer.

I whistled, one short little whistle, and my family got the message. We all, as one happy, laughing troupe, got out, toweled off, redressed, and sat on our log again.

Mike and Jessica followed, both positively purple with cold, and tried to get dressed. All Jessica could manage was her sweatshirt, and poor Mike was unable to do anything but stick one arm in his jacket.

My sensitive ears detected footsteps up the trail. Lauren, who realized we were all out and dressed, frowned with rage. Now she looked like a loser for being in the freezing ocean in March.

Being the scheming bitch that I am, I strolled casually around the back of the fire pit. When no one was looking I seized Lauren’s clothes – my hands almost burned from the cheap feeling of the fabric – and threw them into the woods. Her boots vanished into the foliage with satisfying thumps.

Nonchalantly, I returned to my seat on Emmett’s lap.

Her and Tyler swam slowly back to the beach. They were both so cold that neither could move very quickly.

Just as they reached the beach, and began stepping out of the water, Mr. Mackentire reappeared at the trailhead. I got a strong whiff of cigarette smoke. He clapped his hands together and beamed, ready to address the class, when he saw Lauren and Tyler clambering clumsily out of the ocean, both nearly naked and dripping wet.


His face turned red, then purple. “Mallory and Crowley!” he roared.

They jerked their heads up, fear etched in their eyes.

Mr. Mackentire began stomping towards them, “What on earth do you think you’re doing? Going swimming? Without adult supervision and in this weather?”

The class tittered slightly, giggling at Mackentire’s rage. He passed the fire pit and stormed towards the pair of drenched teenagers.

As soon as his back was towards them, Mike and Jessica got fully dressed. Luckily for all of us it had begun to rain, so our wet hair would not give us away.

“How imbecilic are you?” he shouted, “you could have died! I get that you’re both teenagers with invincibility syndrome, but honestly? This is ridiculous!”

“Sorry sir,” Tyler mumbled, his voice shaking.

“Go put your clothes on!” Mr. Mackentire pulled his cell phone out of the pocket of his jacket, “I’m calling the principal. We’re leaving now.”

Lauren and Tyler, both shaking too hard to move very quickly, moved slowly up towards the fire pit. Lauren’s head was bent with shame.

It was one thing for a group of kids to do something idiotic. It was another to get caught for it. I would be cool because I did something dangerous and fun, and didn’t get in trouble. Lauren was a moron for being caught.

She looked absolutely wretched. Her skin was pale, with her bluish veins sticking out unattractively. Her hair was pasted to her head, her face smeared with mascara and orange foundation. Even her swimsuit, which had been ugly before, had taken a turn for the worst. Obviously she’d never worn the tacky thing before. Blue dye seeped down her white stomach.

Tyler pulled his jeans and jacket on, and sat down on the log with shame. Lauren shuffled slowly after him, and then glanced around for her clothes.

Poor girl – didn’t I accidentally misplace her clothes?

“Jessica,” I heard her hiss, “where’s my clothes?”

Jessica just shrugged, wide eyed, and bundled her wet curls into a bun.

Mackentire snapped his phone shut, and then stamped back up the beach. “Mallory! This isn’t a fashion party! Get your clothes on!”

“Uh,” Lauren froze.

Now,” he demanded, “we’re all leaving, this instant. The principal is very much looking forward to having a word with the pair of you.”

Alice’s soft giggle made me grin. I was so fantastically awful.

Lauren wrapped her arms around herself and tried to adopt a tragic expression, “Sir – I can’t find them.”

Mr. Mackentire pinched the bridge of his nose and made an enormously irritated noise. Then he just glared at her, “Then I suppose you’ll have to speak to the principal in what you are currently wearing. Or should I say, not wearing. All of you – get to the bus.”

Lauren, who was half naked, covered in smeared, unnatural colors, and looking absolutely pathetic, reached forward and grabbed Jessica’s arm. “Lend me your coat,” she growled.

Jessica frowned, “But then I’ll be cold. I only have a t-shirt on under this.”

“Do you think I care?” Lauren snapped, “I’ll give you that skirt of mine you like so much – the orange leather one.”

Jessica beamed, “Okay!” She slipped off her fluffy yellow jacket and handed it to Lauren.

Now, she looked like a molting chicken, with two skinny blue legs sticking out from underneath the feathery monstrosity. Bent with shame and misery, she hurried to the bus, barefoot.

I stood and stretched, then linked my arm with Emmett’s and strolled casually towards the bus.

As I walked down the aisle towards the seats in the back, I bent over and whispered in Jessica’s ear, “Did you see Yorkie looking at her? Oh my god, he’s totally into her.”

Jessica gasped, and whipped around to find where Yorkie was. In a moment of perfect, unforeseen luck, he was staring at Lauren. Or, more like, glaring at the blinding yellow of her borrowed hairy jacket.

No way,” she muttered, and then whipped around in her seat, “Angela – guess what!”

I settled in my seat and smiled with pride.

When we arrived back at the school Mr. Mackentire grabbed Lauren and Tyler by the elbows and escorted them out of the bus. Not bothering to tell us where to go or what to do, he simply led the two juvenile delinquents to the Principal’s office.

The class gathered on the pavement, and Jessica Stanley began leading the gossip fest.

“Can you believe Lauren?” she exclaimed.

The class muttered mutinously. Jessica threw her hands in the air, “She was only trying to show off for Eric Yorkie!”

The boy in question shrank inside himself and became even paler, his acne standing out horribly against his oily pallor.

“Is that true?” Mike demanded, going to stand in front of Eric.

He stuttered, too overwhelmed to defend himself. I slicked on another coat of pink lipstick and watched Lauren’s social life fall to pieces with sick glee.

“This has got to stop,” Jessica said shrilly, “Lauren tried to lead the popular group of this school, but her obsession with Yorkie has gone too far! Today was just another example of how just . . . awful she is! I mean, like, how can we trust her to set standards anymore? She totally humiliated herself today!”

Mike nodded, “Hate to say it, but I don’t really want to be around her much anymore. Today was really weird.”

“Really weird,” some freshman agreed. Her eyes were wide with fright.

“Like – who would go swimming in this weather?” a boy asked snottily.

I tossed him a scathing look, “I went swimming and it was fine. Don’t be imbecilic. She got caught because, like an idiot, she chose to ignore me when I told her Mackentire was coming back.”

“Wow, that was really stupid of her,” the boy said thoughtfully.

Obviously,” I rolled my eyes.

The chatter continued in such a way until Mackentire returned.

Lauren and Tyler followed him morosely. Lauren looked worse than ever. Her patchy hair had begun to frizz in places, and her mascara streaks had permanently stained her pale skin. Her eyes were dull with embarrassment.

“Class, these two have something to say to you before their parents come to pick them up,” Mr. Mackentire announced.

Tyler and Lauren looked stubbornly at the pavement. Mackentire cleared his throat ominously.

“Uh,” Tyler glanced furtively up at the crowd of students, “we just wanted to say sorry for being bad examples. And that it was really stupid and embarrassing what we did, and you guys are all smart for not following along.”

Mike clapped his shoulder comfortingly, and a few other kids murmured reassurances.

Lauren huddled inside herself, her eyes glued to the sidewalk and her mouth firmly closed. Mackentire glared at her.

She bit her lip, “Um, yeah, what he said.”

“Mallory,” Mackentire said warningly.

She dragged in a pitiful breath, “Fine. Um, I’m sorry for making you guys see me without uh, proper school attire, and you guys are really smart for not following along with us. We try to be “trend setters” and you all are really good for avoiding that.”

“And?” Mackentire tapped his foot.

“We’re bad influences, and, um, not cool at all,” she barely whispered.

Ah, revenge is glorious.

The shining moment came when Mrs. Mallory pulled up in front of the sidewalk, her face set in a scowl and her crappy car spewing black smoke.

Lauren clambered awkwardly into the vehicle, her bare, stick-thin legs struggling to lift her up. Jessica’s borrowed coat, which was shedding yellow fuzzies, looked like the pelt of an infected grizzly bear.

“Young lady, you are grounded,” Mrs. Mallory snapped.

The class tittered, and Lauren buried her head in her hands. Her ears tinged pink.

The car pulled away, leaving a thoroughly smug class, and I gave myself a congratulatory pat on the back.

I was good at ruining lives.

Enjoy your misery, Lauren Mallory.