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One Pepperoni With Extra Dazzle

Summary:
What happens when the Cullen brothers get a job at a pizza parlor? Props to Alice Clone for the hilarious idea! Aaaaaaand for the sake of hilarity, let’s just say they don’t have their super-human speed and absolute perfection anymore! Oooooh yeah, how d’you like THAT crusty marinara sauce? Mmmmmmmm goooood!


Notes:
Props to Alice Clone for the hilarious idea! Aaaaaaand for the sake of hilarity, let’s just say they don’t have their super-human speed and absolute perfection anymore! Oooooh yeah, how d’you like THAT crusty marinara sauce? Mmmmmmmm goooood!


1. Chapter 1; Challenge Extended

Rating 5/5   Word Count 754   Review this Chapter

I pulled into the hidden driveway of the Cullen residence, slightly irritable and smelling of onions. I’d been at my job at the Pizza Palace for almost three months, and I still couldn’t get over the nasty feeling of grease on my hands, and I was sure that somewhere in my hair, there was a large colony of cheese, dodging my fingers during the three shampooings, because I could always smell the awkward scent of mozzarella.

As my old red truck came to a growling halt, Edward was already there, and all thoughts of rampant, hair-dwelling cheese colonies slipped away unnoticed. He opened my door and pulled me quickly into his arms, bringing his face close to mine

“I missed you,” he murmured, rubbing his nose against mine. I closed my eyes and I could feel his long lashes brushing my cheeks.

“I missed you too.” He pulled back so we could walk up to the house. His face was confused, as though there was a complication. “What? What is it?” He turned his eyes to me. They were getting darker. He’d have to leave me to go hunting soon.

“I still just don’t understand why you need to get a job…and at the Pizza Palace at that. We can easily pay for any expenses you would have and more.” I pulled my eyebrows together.

“I don’t like taking money from you. It just doesn’t feel right.”

“You’re one of the family. What’s ours is yours.”

“It’s just not fair. You give me everything and anything, and I can’t give you anything in return.” He pulled me to him, catching my chin in his cold perfect fingers.

“You’ve given me your heart. That’s all I could ever want and more.” He let his lips lightly press against mine, and I momentarily forgot what I was so aggravated about. But when he pulled away I remembered once again.

“Well I also like the feeling of accomplishment I get when I come home from work without tripping and beheading a decorative plant. Of course you wouldn’t know what I was talking about…” I trailed my voice off as we walked into the living room. Alice and Jasper sat on one of the couches, watching some old film, but they looked up as we came in the door.

“What do you mean I wouldn’t know what you were talking about?” He narrowed his eyes, his mouth lifting ever so slightly.

“Well, being as rich and pampered as you are…You probably haven’t had a job in what…fifty years? And even then it was probably a nice office job, huh?”

“Ooooh, Bella,” Alice was at my side in a flash, her eyes glittering with excitement. “I like where you’re going with this.” I grinned back. I liked where this was going too.

“I don’t think you’d make it in a low-down job like the Pizza Palace,” I challenged. He cocked his head to the side.

“I accept your challenge, but on what grounds?”

“Well…” I hadn’t thought of an actual deal, but Alice piped up.
“From what I can see, Edward won’t be the only one knee-deep in pizza sauce.” She grinned wickedly at Jasper who was standing slowly and giving her a arrogant grin.
“I suppose I can take time out of my busy schedule to whip your butts,” he said, yawning.

“Oh, but it won’t be just you two,” continued Alice.

“YESSS! I ACCEPT! I ACCEPT!” Emmett was already tumbling down the stairs. Eavesdrop much?

“So now what is the full deal?” asked Jasper, looking at his nails, keeping up the ‘I couldn’t care less’ façade.

“You three are going to apply for jobs at the Pizza Palace. If you can work there for one week without quitting, I’ll…,” I turned to Alice for help.
“We’ll let you decide what you want…to a certain extent,” she said, waving her hand in the air as though it meant nothing. “However. If you loose, which I can see is pretty likely.” She winked at me. “You’ll have to give us a day to do whatever we want with you.”

“And you can’t bug me about having my job anymore!” I added quickly. They stared blankly at us for a moment before Emmett spoke.
“So…you’re saying that we can’t win?”

“Hmmmm…Yeah…I think that’s what I was going for.” Alice smiled sweetly. Edward and Jasper scoffed.
“Ha, I highly doubt three fully grown vampires could be out done by a bunch of fast-food industry employees.” Jasper rolled his eyes.

“Well, then, is it a deal?” Alice and I extended our hands, and Jasper, Emmett and Edward each shook both our hands quickly, their faces smug.