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Sometimes, I Just Go For It.

Summary:
Possibilities for Breaking Dawn Bella and Edward's wedding, Bella's transformation, how Bella deals with her change, etc. CHAPTER THREE IN VALIDATION


Notes:
All the chapter titles are titles of songs. The actual song may not fit into the mood of the chapter, but I choose the chapter titles from the song titles, not the song itself... if that makes any sense whatsoever.


3. Rollercoaster

Rating 5/5   Word Count 567   Review this Chapter

Jacob’s POV

Watching Sam and Emily was unbearable. I could feel their love for one another seething into the atmosphere of Emily’s home. Every look, every touch, every kiss made my whole body ache. It was hard enough hearing Sam’s thoughts about her, but seeing them together… insufferable.

Every day that went by made it harder. The clock was ticking down the days. Only four more days until they were married. Who knew how soon after she’d be changed? No, changed wasn’t the right word. More like willingly murdered. That’s what it felt like to me. Like he would be killing her. She would no longer be the Bella I knew and loved. How could she give up everything for him? She didn’t have to change anything for me. I could always be there for her. Not only was I losing the girl I loved, I was losing my best friend.

It was no use dwelling on it. I felt pain ripping at my insides. I wrapped my arms around abdomen. A flash in my memory reminded me of how Bella had been during those months that the bloodsucker had been gone. I was just like how she had been. Lost. Broken. A zombie. But unlike Bella, I didn’t make an effort to fake being alive inside. I was as dead she soon would be.

Even though I’d told her I would lay off and just be her friend, I knew I could never do that. I had to restrain myself from being in her presence. As appealing the thought of going to their wedding, tearing all those bloodsuckers to pieces, and whisking Bella away from the crazy world we had stumbled upon sounded, I knew I couldn’t. She wanted it too much and for reasons I did not want to think about.

I wish I could have been able to promise her forever. To try to persuade her away from those damned leeches. As I looked around, I caught Sam’s eye. The thoughts I heard every time I phased played over in my head. Sam had promised Leah before he knew what we were. Now he was bound to Emily. There was no telling if that could happen to me. Deep down, I didn’t think I could ever love anyone other than Bella. The others in the pack craved for me to imprint so that this “silly” fascination with her would just go away. Fascination. Huh. If that’s all this was, then my fascination was an obsession. I wonder what a fascination with baseball cards could turn into.

A giggle from the kitchen. This was too much. I couldn’t be around these two. “Hey Sam, I think I’m gonna get going. Billy needs me home early these days. It’s been hard on him getting around the house. See ya later. And thanks for the snack, Emily. Nice seeing you again.” With that I was out the door. I thought I made out them saying goodbye but I was already down the street.

I headed home so I could get my Rabbit. When I got home, I was surprised to see Charlie’s cruiser in the driveway. No. I could not stomach another reminder of her. I popped my head into the kitchen. “Hey Charlie, Dad,” I nodded at them. “I think I’m gonna head up to Newton’s. I suddenly have a fascination with camping.”