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Don't Tell a Soul

Summary:
As he awaits the Volturi's decision with regards to his assisted suicide request, Edward writes to his family to say goodbye. What do they think, when they finally receive the letters, days later? Just added: Edward's letter to Bella when he believed her to be dead.


Notes:


2. Esme

Rating 5/5   Word Count 397   Review this Chapter

Esme never told a soul about the letter. She read it quickly, standing amid her flower bed, and then hurried into the house, casting about for a place to put it. It only took her an instant to decide.

Mother,

I am so sorry to put you through this. I hope you will let Carlisle comfort you, and that you won’t dwell on what I’ve done. Unlike you, I’ve been led here by my own mistakes - my own failings. You taught me where the line is: the absolute most pain anyone can endure. I watched you fight your way back from that line, but I lack the strength to do it, myself. I can’t seem to stop thinking about her. If I stayed, I would always torment myself over what I put her through – over being the cause of her death in every meaningful way. Difficult enough to imagine living without her, but the prospect of accusing myself (justly) of her death every day – every minute – for the rest of eternity? I can’t. And I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

Your son,

Edward


Esme passed Edward and Bella, who were sitting together on the couch, chatting with Alice, but she didn’t spare them a glance, though she knew Edward could hear her mind whirling with averted pain. Thank God he had come home safe. She could only imagine the agony his letter would have brought if he’d succeeded in his quest for oblivion.

She let herself into her room and opened the closet. Inside the hope chest that had gone missing from her husband’s home shortly after her death was a small album filled with the documents that were all that was left of her life. Her baby’s birth and death certificates, and her own death certificate were affixed to the final pages. She slipped Edward’s letter to her in between those pages and put the book away quickly. Then, for several long minutes, she knelt there, thankful that her son had come home, and that he and Bella seemed to have found happiness again. She worried over whether he would attempt to take his life every time Bella was in danger, and vowed to keep a very, very close eye on her eldest son from that moment forward. And then she went downstairs to try and take comfort in his happiness, knowing just how fleeting it could be.