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Don't Tell a Soul
Summary:
As he awaits the Volturi's decision with regards to his assisted suicide request, Edward writes to his family to say goodbye. What do they think, when they finally receive the letters, days later?
Just added: Edward's letter to Bella when he believed her to be dead.
Notes:
5. Jasper
Rating 5/5 Word Count 426 Review this Chapter
Jasper never told a soul about the letter. Alice already knew, of course, but she was discreet enough never to mention it. And anyway, he expected she was hiding a letter of her own. Certainly the unexplained surges of grief he’d felt from most of the family several days after Edward’s return seemed to indicate that almost everyone had received a letter. Everyone but Emmett, which Jasper thought was odd, considering how close he and Edward had always been. However, as no one was talking about it, he resolved not to ask. He supposed that everyone felt as he did – last letters from a dying man ought not to be shared.
Dear Jasper,
This is not your fault.
I know I was cruel to you before I left, and I regret that more than you can know, since we will never see one another again in this world. Undoubtedly, if we could, you alone would understand how thoroughly I despise myself for every aspect of this situation.
I do not blame you for what happened, nor for any of the consequences. It was I who brought you the temptation, though I knew how you struggled. How unkind of me to then condemn you for being tempted. I am so sorry – for the pain I caused you, and also for my harsh words. You have been a brother to me and I have been a monster in every possible way.
I am also sorry for the pain I’m about to cause you. I know that you will bear the brunt of everyone’s emotions during this time. I hope you can forgive me.
-Edward
Jasper was more relieved over Edward’s foiled suicide attempt than just brotherly affection could account for. Seeing him with Bella – feeling his renewed happiness – made life bearable again. He had thought, during those dark months after he’d lost control and nearly killed Bella, that he would never feel this kind of contentment again. Certainly he hadn’t felt he deserved to. And Edward had, at the time, made it clear exactly what he thought Jasper deserved. Things were still a bit stilted between them, which was only natural, considering that neither felt at liberty to mention the apologetic letter. Still, he could tell that he was forgiven, and that made all the difference. He kept the letter carefully hidden with other unacknowledged letters he’d received over the years – from Maria. From Peter. And he just enjoyed having his brother back. He spent his time making Edward feel forgiven, too, without actually saying so.
Dear Jasper,
This is not your fault.
I know I was cruel to you before I left, and I regret that more than you can know, since we will never see one another again in this world. Undoubtedly, if we could, you alone would understand how thoroughly I despise myself for every aspect of this situation.
I do not blame you for what happened, nor for any of the consequences. It was I who brought you the temptation, though I knew how you struggled. How unkind of me to then condemn you for being tempted. I am so sorry – for the pain I caused you, and also for my harsh words. You have been a brother to me and I have been a monster in every possible way.
I am also sorry for the pain I’m about to cause you. I know that you will bear the brunt of everyone’s emotions during this time. I hope you can forgive me.
-Edward
Jasper was more relieved over Edward’s foiled suicide attempt than just brotherly affection could account for. Seeing him with Bella – feeling his renewed happiness – made life bearable again. He had thought, during those dark months after he’d lost control and nearly killed Bella, that he would never feel this kind of contentment again. Certainly he hadn’t felt he deserved to. And Edward had, at the time, made it clear exactly what he thought Jasper deserved. Things were still a bit stilted between them, which was only natural, considering that neither felt at liberty to mention the apologetic letter. Still, he could tell that he was forgiven, and that made all the difference. He kept the letter carefully hidden with other unacknowledged letters he’d received over the years – from Maria. From Peter. And he just enjoyed having his brother back. He spent his time making Edward feel forgiven, too, without actually saying so.
