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My Dream Is You

Summary:
Bella is about to jump off the cliff, but someone stops her... someone she thought had forgotten her a long time ago. “Bella,” growled a voice. It wasn't the voice in my head, not at all. My head whipped around. I was startled to see that someone had been watching me.


Notes:
Okay, so I deleted my other story. I'll put it back up later. I have to figure it out. I'm pretty sure I know where I'm going with this one though, so here ya are.


3. I Was the Zombie

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1121   Review this Chapter

I didn't dream while I slept, a very rare occurrence. When I opened my eyes, it looked like the dark gray skies of and early morning in Forks.

“Good morning,” whispered Edward. “Glad to see you're finally awake. Though, I can't say I blame you for sleeping so long. I've heard that crying takes a lot out of a person. I wouldn't know from firsthand experience, of course,” mused Edward.

I was silent. I didn't want the sound of my voice to interrupt the perfect sound of his. I'd only just begun to get to listen to his voice without putting my life in danger. It was a nice feeling.

“I suppose you have to right to be silent. I'd ignore me if I were you.”

“I'm not ignoring you,” I murmured. I didn't want him to think I was mad at him.

“Then why are you being so quiet? You wouldn't stop talking when you slept.” said Edward.

“What did I say?” I knew there were definitely some things I did not want him to hear.

“You kept saying that you didn't want the zombie to come back,” he answered. Even after all the time away from him, I could tell when he was hiding hurt. I'd grown very accustomed to his mannerisms, time wouldn't change that. “If you thought I was a zombie, why didn't you tell me?”

“You weren't here,” I said sharply. I heard his intake of breath and instantly felt terrible. He had just gotten here! I didn't want to be mean to him, not at all. “And you weren't the one I was referring to when I said zombie... I was the zombie.”

He groaned. “I'll never forgive myself, not for a hundred years, forgive myself for leaving you. What do you mean you were a zombie?”

“Lets just say I really can't remember anything for about four months after you left. I remember getting things done, but I don't remember going through the motions. I was numb. When anyone even mentioned your name... I just couldn't take it. I wasn't social, I didn't talk, I didn't read, I hardly ate. If it wasn't for Jacob....” I shuddered.

He was tense. I looked into his eyes, his dark eyes, and saw the raging emotion. He was having an internal battle with himself. I regretted telling him. I should have lied, if only to keep him from blaming himself.

“I was going to come back... it was only a matter of time. I was miserable. I was weeks, if not less, away from showing up at your door, begging you to take me back.” His eyes met mine. “I cannot live without you, Bella. I've tried.... It's just not living. You are my life. Anything without you doesn't matter to me in the slightest.”

“You wouldn't have had to beg,” I whispered.

“I would have anyway. I do not deserve the love you are giving me right now. You could kick me out if you wanted. I'd go. I want what makes you happy...”

“No, I couldn't kick you out,” I replied. “That wouldn't make for a very nice dream at all.”

He sighed. “You are not dreaming, Bella. How can I prove that to you?”

I was past not wanting him to kiss me. As long as I was crazy, I might as well enjoy it. I was only protecting my sanity when I rejected him before. If it didn't matter anymore, why not give in?

“You know how I told you I didn't want you to kiss me? I changed my mind,” I decided.

“Good,” he said, almost desperately.

Without another word, he pulled me closer. I saw the expression in his eyes soften. He grasped my face lightly, his cool hands like feathers on my cheeks. My heart beat faster and faster in my chest. A feeling I had forgotten about overcame me. I wanted this, wanted it more than anything.

He pressed his lips to mine. At first it was a sweet, cautious kiss. It quickly evolved. His hands left my face and knotted in my hair. I put my arms around him. He shifted me onto his chest. He parted his lips slightly, I breathed in his taste.

He moved away from my lips, continuing on to other parts of my body. “I. Missed. You.” He kissed my neck with every word. It sent shivers through me.

He made his way back to my lips. His hands traced their way down my spine.

When we stopped, it was abrupt. He pushed my face away softly. I put my head against his marble chest and sighed. I had learned to appreciate every second I had with him. I was happy, if not more.

“I have been craving that for months,” he breathed. I nodded, I had been too.

“Do you still think you're dreaming?” he asked, smoothing my hair against my back. He was breathing deeply.

“No,” I replied, my voice muffled by his shirt. I wasn't being entirely truthful. The only other time he had kissed me like that had been in my dreams, after all. His stone chest was a little uncomfortable, but I'd rather be right where I was than any other place in the world.

“Good,” he murmured again.

I looked into his eyes. They were bright, excited despite the lack of color. He was thirsty.

“You need to hunt,” I said dully. As much as I didn't want him to leave, his needs would go before mine . I wanted him to be happy, too.

“I'll be fine,” he sighed. He didn't want to leave.

“No, go hunt,” I insisted. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable.

“Are you sure?” he asked wearily.

“Of course.” I didn't want him to suffer because of me. If might give him more incentive to leave.

“I'll be back. Twenty minutes tops,” he promised.

I nodded.

I rolled off of him and he got up. He kissed my forehead and was gone.

For the first time in quite awhile, the hole inside me was not throbbing. There was no pain now. I'd give it ten minutes. Ten minutes, and I'd be curled up in a ball, hugging myself into one piece. Sure, having Edward there had helped immensely, but it was going to be quite some time before he could leave for anymore than a few minutes. I hoped he wouldn't think I was being too attached.

I buried deeper into the sheets, trying to find the cold spot that Edward would have left. When I found it, I pressed my face into the blanket. I waited for his return.