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A New Life

Summary:
My version of Breaking Dawn, attempting to stay very close to what the REAL Breaking Dawn will be like. No crazy random plots and made up characters!!!!!! :] UPDATE- the chapters have titles!


Notes:


5. Chapter 5- Control

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 397   Review this Chapter

Bella's POV

I wanted to be with him, once and for all. Could he not see that? Could he not understand that? I felt horrible, begging him, playing with him, knowing that he would be viciously torn between his desire to satisfy me in every way and his desire to do the right thing. Alice had lectured him, Carlisle had lectured him, but most of all he had lectured himself. They all said the same thing; control yourself, give Bella every chance to change her mind, and at the very least say goodbye. But I had seen the look in his eye that night, before we went to tell Charlie, when he told me he was wrong, that we should just do everything my way and give me exactly what I wanted. And now I was manipulating it.

How could I? After forcing him to stay with me, to not fight the newborns… Here I was, doing the exact same thing. But I ignored the voice in my head telling me these things, and I begged.

“Change me…now,” I panted. “Please, please Edward."

I regretted the words the moment they escaped from my mouth. The war being fought in his mind was excruciatingly painful to watch in his eyes. I saw every option flash in those golden abysses, the thought of each outcome, connections and flashes of anger, love, and pain. He opened his mouth several times to speak, closing it suddenly, fighting and resisting the craving, then giving over to it, then pulling it back. It came and went and came and went, and I simply watched him suffer, until it became simply too much to bear.

Why did I say that? How could I?

“Edward?”

I saw the animal in his eyes, and I had to stop it. This wasn’t what he wanted, wasn’t what I wanted! My eyes opened wide with realization, and the animal disappeared. His eyes were guarded, aware, and almost angry.

“You know that’s not what you want."

We spoke so little now that we were married; words were replaced by actions tonight. He kissed me tenderly, following a trail from my lips down my neck until he reached my throat. There he stayed, kissing slowly and softly, breathing deeper than I had ever seen him. The frigid air danced across my neck, and I shivered. This was enough. I wasn’t going to make a mistake. This, right here, was perfect.