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Distractions

Summary:


Edward and Bella's love will last forever. No matter what he's done. Even when there is one last secret. She'll still love him when it comes to light. Right? Image Hosted by ImageShack.us IRIS MADE THE BANNER. SHE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!


Notes:
Self-insertion. Just so you know. Edward/Bella, though. Read and review! I have eight chapters written, but I'm overscheduled and easily distracted, so you'll have to bear with me. Thanks to my beta, Katherine!


2. Awakening

Rating 5/5   Word Count 800   Review this Chapter

I awoke with his timeless eyes woeful on my face. It was the same glance as he’d had under Jane’s torture, when I’d cried over Jacob the last time. The same as whenever the memory of his absence was brought up. What had I said to put that look on his face?

“Edward, what’s wrong?”

He seemed shocked, stiffening suddenly as though breaking out from a trance. Then he softened, though the pain was still there.

“Nothing, love. Don’t worry.”

I moved my hands to my hips and sat up.

“I’m not falling for it. How stupid do you really think I am? What did I say?”

He kissed me softly, never taking his eyes from mine. As our lips met, the agony changed to love, melting my heart, but not my fury.

“You’re not going to distract me, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Was it about Jacob?” I asked, almost hopefully. Jake was one thing. Not so bad.

He shook his head so slightly it could have been mistaken for a twitch, if vampires had involuntary reactions. With that slight movement, my hope was dashed.

“I’m not jealous, Bella. Really, I’m not. The choice is all yours.”

I chose to ignore the ridiculous second half of his statement. “You have no reason to be.”

We sat there for a second, in silence.

“It was about when you left.”

I knew I was right, but I looked at his face for confirmation. That was a mistake.

“Of course,” I whispered, and he took my head between his hands. “I’m sorry.” I hated hurting him. It hurt me.

“You’re sorry. You’re sorry. You’re sorry I broke your heart and lied to you and hurt you and left you and almost let you be killed!”

“No. I’m sorry that what I said pained you. What did I say, Edward.”

He glared at me. I glared back.

“Fine. ‘Don’t.’ That was all at first. Again and again, quieter each time. And then you sat bolt upright and screamed it. “DON’T!’ You started to cry, and I took you in my arms. Through the tears, you were talking. Begging, with such pain in your voice. “Please, no. Don’t. Don’t leave me. I love you. I need you. I’ll die without you. I’d rather die than be without you. Please.’ You kept begging me, through sobs, tears streaming down your face, not to go. I couldn’t do anything.

“ ‘You won’t be happy with me, though. I understand I’m not good enough. I wish you’d change me so I could be, but I’m not. If it makes you happy, go. I’d do anything for you, even this. I just want you to know, Edward. I love you. Please, don’t’”

His perfect memory had retained every word.

“I couldn’t understand much of anything after that. You were crying too hard. I held you, as tightly as I could without hurting you, but you cried all night long. Once in a while, you would mutter something that sounded like “Please. I love you. Don’t go.” You screamed, too. Maybe every half hour. I could feel your whole body tense up in my arms, and then you would howl. Such a sound! It felt like you were ripping apart.”

Funny. I had thought the pain was gone. He was here, after all.

“Bella, I love you. I will always love you. I swear to whatever God there is that I am yours. I have never loved anyone else. I am so sorry, Bella. So sorry. I don’t think I ever realized, not seeing your face in memories, not in the little mentions you gave, how much pain I put you through. I thought you were at least a little better off than I was, but I may have been wrong. Will you ever forgive me?”

I sighed, and kissed him.

“I love you. Forever, no matter what. I will always, always forgive you.”

The agony in his eyes faded, followed by a fierce love.

“But… Edward, I think we need to talk about it.”

“What?”

“About when you left.”

My resolve wavered as the pain swelled in his eyes.

“Why?”

“Because… I’m going to be a vampire soon, and I’m afraid I won’t remember anything but the pain.”

“Of transforming?”

“No.”

In a brief instant, his clever mind realized what I meant. A silent “O.” rang on his lips, and he bowed his glorious head.

“Forget it.” Nothing could be worth his pain.

“No, Bella. We should.”

“Do you want me to start?”

He nodded.