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Distractions

Summary:


Edward and Bella's love will last forever. No matter what he's done. Even when there is one last secret. She'll still love him when it comes to light. Right? Image Hosted by ImageShack.us IRIS MADE THE BANNER. SHE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!


Notes:
Self-insertion. Just so you know. Edward/Bella, though. Read and review! I have eight chapters written, but I'm overscheduled and easily distracted, so you'll have to bear with me. Thanks to my beta, Katherine!


4. Agonized Confession

Rating 5/5   Word Count 700   Review this Chapter

“Edward, look, do I need to tell you this? It’s hurting me to hurt you. I don’t want to keep saying what happened. You don’t… It’s not that important.”

“Anything that makes you happy is important.”

“This isn’t making me happy.”

“Please, Bella. I want to feel like… I need to feel like I can at least comprehend what I’ve done wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong! You were trying to save me. That’s all. I understand.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.”

This final exchange made me smile.

It was familiar, yet somehow needful.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

These words, too, were not new, yet they still made my heart leap.

“So… where was I? Jake told me that I knew what was going on, and I did. I guessed eventually. Well, a few weeks later… Jake and the pack were off hunting Victoria. Jake had promised me we’d go cliff diving when he got back. I was waiting on the beach, and the water looked… I wanted to hear you. So I jumped.”

His perfect face twisted. “Bella…”

“If you keep interrupting, I’m not going to tell you the rest! Anyway, I’m getting ready to jump. It’s just like having you beside me. I hurtled through the air and you’re there the whole way down. Then I’m drowning… and I don’t care. I can see you so perfectly, and I don’t want to try anymore. But Jake pulled me out. Well… I guess you know what happens from here.”

He appeared to be choking to death on a lemon. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. Well, it sucks that we had to be in so much pain. But it made me a stronger person, and it taught me something.”

“What is that?”

“Who I can’t live without.” I took his hand, feeling the coldness chill me, and I smile. “I love you. Your turn.”

“Right.” He winces. “Bella… I have a confession to make.”

“Which is?”

“I was in Brazil, right? Curled up in a ball, rocking back in forth, seeing your beautiful face, dreaming of holding you, so, so alone. I didn’t have Charlie to live for or Jacob to help me live. So I just sort of died. And then… she walked in.”

Wait… what? “Who?”

“I don’t know her name.” He was rigid, his voice a lovely whisper. “She’s a vampire, but she drinks human blood. She has quite a gift. She can sense people’s needs and give them what they require most. Apparently, she could feel my need ten miles away, and she was curious. She walked in and explained who she was. Then she told me I’d better return to you. I refused, fool that I am! I said you were better off, that… that you couldn’t really have loved me, monstrous me. She scoffed at me, but she stayed. Trying to cheer me up… I asked why, and she confessed that she was in love with me.”

I couldn’t muster the appropriate indignation. How could I blame anyone for loving him? He was perfect.

“I asked her something then. I asked her if… Bella, I’m so ashamed. I’m so sorry. I asked her if she could change her appearance. She became you, because I needed you. It still hurt, because part of me knew it wasn’t you, but I pretended it was the same Bella, you who I love and will always love. I stayed until Rosalie called… and then I couldn’t lie to myself. There is only one person in the world for me, no matter what is right, and that is you. I took leave of her politely. I apologized for my lack of manners and respect towards her, and then I went to Italy.”

As he spoke, a horrible idea began to blossom in my mind. I loathed myself for even doubting him, but I still needed to voice it. “Edward, did you… did you and she…?”

He understood my awkwardly half-phrased question. “Bella, I’m so sorry.”

And the world went black.