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Distractions

Summary:


Edward and Bella's love will last forever. No matter what he's done. Even when there is one last secret. She'll still love him when it comes to light. Right? Image Hosted by ImageShack.us IRIS MADE THE BANNER. SHE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!


Notes:
Self-insertion. Just so you know. Edward/Bella, though. Read and review! I have eight chapters written, but I'm overscheduled and easily distracted, so you'll have to bear with me. Thanks to my beta, Katherine!


5. Emotional Control

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 530   Review this Chapter

He was sobbing when I woke, his shoulders heaving. I tried to touch his face in comfort, and he glared at me.

“Don’t. Don’t you touch me.”

Hurt and confused, I pulled my hand away and stood. “I’m sorry.” He doesn’t want you, Bella. You’re not good enough. Never good enough for him…

He sighs. “Oh, Bella. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… Don’t leave, Bella. I just… I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and you keep giving it to me.”

I laughed, more than half in relief. “I don’t deserve you, Edward. You’re perfect.”

“Hardly,” he whispered, and his voice was as hard and cold and brittle as ice.

“Yes, you are. You love me so much, too much. Almost as much as I love you.”

“I love you, but that’s not a good thing, Bella. I’m a monster. I’m not just a killer, I’m also a liar and a traitor and… a cheater.

I caught the implication. “It’s not cheating.”

“Yes it is, Bella. I betrayed you. Why won’t you understand that? I had just finished breaking your heart and I turned around and found someone else!”

The way he phrased that stung. I choked back the pain. “You found someone else. Do you still… have feelings for her?”

His eyes popped wider as if he were being choked. “Of course not! I never did. Only you. Only, always you.”

“Then how did you betray me?”

“Do I have to say it?”

“No. I know what you mean. Actually, that was a rhetorical question. It was supposed to finish off my argument.”

“What argument?’

“The argument we’re having right now.”

“Bella, I’m so sorry…”

I hate it when he does this. “Will you STOP apologizing?” I’m not going to lie, this idea doesn’t delight me, but I’ve got to stop him from wallowing in remorse.

“Bella, why aren’t you mad?”

“Why should I be?”

He attempted to interrupt, but I continued. “If I recall correctly, you had, in effect, broken up with me. Ergo, it would be impossible for you to cheat on me. In addition, you maintain that both you and she knew you still loved me. Case closed.”

“You’re looking at this very unemotionally.”

And I was. The minute I got him safely calmed down, I would probably sneak off somewhere to cry like a baby. But I had to stay sane until he felt better. “Look at it this way. I’m disappointed. I’m slightly unhappy. I feel a little self-conscious. But I’m not mad. You had every right to…”

He smiles. It is an empty smile.

“Just promise me something.”

“Anything,” he vows.

“Promise you’ll never leave me. I need to hear that again right now.”

“Never. Not in a hundred million billion years. I will be with you forever. My angel, my wife, the light in the darkness of my existence. The beautiful one who forgives every transgression…”

He is perfect. Every feature of him… My heart swells.

And his next words, suddenly serious, ruin it.