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Distractions

Summary:


Edward and Bella's love will last forever. No matter what he's done. Even when there is one last secret. She'll still love him when it comes to light. Right? Image Hosted by ImageShack.us IRIS MADE THE BANNER. SHE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!


Notes:
Self-insertion. Just so you know. Edward/Bella, though. Read and review! I have eight chapters written, but I'm overscheduled and easily distracted, so you'll have to bear with me. Thanks to my beta, Katherine!


7. Suffering Symphony

Rating 0/5   Word Count 544   Review this Chapter

“Because I’m not enough, Edward. I’m not enough. Not good enough or strong enough or beautiful enough for you and I don’t have the will and the decency to do what I ought to.”

“While you’re being ludicrous, I may as well enquire as to what that is.”

“I ought to tell you right now to leave and never come back. I don’t deserve you. I know that very well, and I should have the strength to let you go find someone who does. She did, I bet. She never loved anyone else. She gave you everything and never asked for anything in return.”

“Barring the fact that I love you, what have you ever asked me for?”

“You. I asked for love. Expected it, accepted it, when I know that it shouldn’t be mine.”

“Ridiculous. I am yours, Bella. Yours forever. You know that.”

“But I don’t deserve it!”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do! And I’ll prove it. Here I am, hysterically weeping like a baby all over you, when I know it’s just going to hurt you! Can’t even hold in a few tears to save you so much pain!”

A silence stretched between us. I took opportunity of it to stare at him. His perfection- cool pale skin, eyes gleaming like sun through amber, perfect sculpted lips—I didn’t blame her. I would do anything even for his false attentions. No matter who he loved, I would love him.

He broke the silence almost angrily.

“You hide your tears from me?”

“Sometimes.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

I groaned. I thought we’d gone over this. “I trust you enough that I’m going to let you drink my blood in order to change me into a vampire. I think that qualifies as trust.”

“But you don’t trust me to comfort you.”

“You’d only blame yourself. I don’t want you to hate yourself. No one should hate you.”

“Why not? I’m a killer and a monster. You are an angel. I did not ever deserve your love, and deserve it even less now! I have betrayed you twice. First, by discarding and discounting your love. Second, in the most crude and vile way. Everyone should hate me.”

I felt the tears bristle in my eyes. “You must think highly of my judgment, then, since I love you.” I can’t help it, Edward. No matter who you want me to love, no matter what is and isn’t right… I am eternally yours.

He sighed and embraced me. “Why do you keep blaming yourself? I am a failure as a man and as a lover. I can’t even be a good monster, for God’s sake.”

“You are the best man I know, and you love me more than I deserve.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You deserve everything, and I- only hate and scorn.”

“Stop it! Please stop it. You don’t know how much this hurts me, seeing you hate yourself like this! I love you and I never ever want to see you miserable. Please don’t.”

He changed the subject abruptly. “Bella, do you want me to leave?”