Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

I'm Sorry.

Summary:
Bella has just come to Forks after a breakup with her boyfriend from Phoenix. But how long will she actually last? Warning: I have the ending in mind, and it is a MAJOR twist. Muahaha. * not done, and i don't use deadlines. i write when i am in the mood. :] *


Notes:


6. Chapter 6

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1067   Review this Chapter

I sat on Edward’s couch, staring out of his wall-sized window. He had returned downstairs to his family, but I needed time to think about this. After a horrible sob fest, I found that vampires apparently couldn’t cry. I really wished they could, because without the release, it felt like a had a million problems bottled up inside me. It felt something like my brain was going to explode.

What refused to stay out of my thoughts, though, was Edward. Just thinking about him took my breath away. When I first saw him, it was like something had awakened, but I didn’t know if that was bad or good.

I laid there for hours on end, according the clock that hung on Edward’s wall. With my new vampire-enhanced senses I was able to hear what they were saying downstairs, but I tried my best to tune it out. I mostly just heard Jasper’s sobs. After what he made me, I should probably have hated him, but I didn’t. I actually felt sort of sorry for him. Like Edward said, the bloodlust was horrible.

As I sat there, I tried not to think about what would happen if I should come across a human… if I ever came across Charlie.

The thought sent a shiver up my spine. Sick of wallowing, I went down the two flights of stairs to the bottom floor. Esme was sitting at the kitchen table, a book in her hand.

She looked at me nervously as I entered the room. I found that it was hard to look her in the eye.

“Oh, dear,” she said, gathering me in her arms. I started to sob as I was reminded that never again would I be able to hug my own mother.

“Here, here, shhhh.” She walked me over the couch in the other room and sat me down. I had to admit, I calmed down greatly as she smoothed down my hair and whispered condolences in my ear.

Alice suddenly appeared in the room, gracefully walking towards me and grabbing one of my hands. “Carlisle would like to see you,” she said quietly. I nodded, and she led me up a flight of stairs and into his office.

“Hello, Bella.” He gave me a warm smile that I couldn’t seem to return. He didn’t look offended. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

I sat down in the chair across from his desk and he cleared away some papers.

“Now,” he began. “You obviously have not expected this. The first thing I need you to know is that Jasper is extremely… regretful of what happened. You see, he is the newest of all of us, now excluding you, to become a vampire.” I looked down at my fingers. “I don’t want you to hate him. I suppose it is partially my fault. Perhaps he should have been more adapted to the smell of blood before we sent him to school with the others.”

I shook my head. “I don’t hate him.”

Carlisle raised an eyebrow but continued. “As Edward has told you, we are unable to send you to school until you are fully adapted. We don’t want to risk any suspicions. Also, we need to teach you how to hunt.”
I grimaced. “I hate blood. It makes me sick.”

“Don’t worry,” he chuckled, “I’m sure you won’t mind it now. Alice?”

Alice appeared at my side in an instant. “Yes, Carlisle?”

“Please take Bella to hunt. Be very careful, though. Make sure there are no humans anywhere.”

She nodded and pulled my up from my seat. I followed without a word, sure that I wouldn’t want the blood at all. Not even from animals. She led me outside and we walked about a mile into the murky forest.

“Now,” she whispered, “just let your sense of smell guide you.”

“Huh?”

“Find an animal you like and point it out to me. But don’t approach it.”

Just then, my stomach let out a grumble. Alice laughed.

I had to walk another mile until I found a fox. I quickly pointed it to Alice and she nodded. “Okay, good you have one picked out, now you need to concentrate on it. Do you smell the blood?”

“Ugh, yes,” I moaned. “It smells horrible. Am I really supposed to drink that?”

She looked at me like I was crazy, and maybe I was. Wasn’t the bloodlust supposed to be terrible? Wasn’t I supposed to not even think and just attack the poor animal because I yearned for it? I didn’t feel anything but sick right now.

“Well, you’re gonna have to drink it anyways. Pretty soon your stomach growls will scare it away.” She laughed at me, and I was mesmerized by the sound. I probably shouldn’t have been since I was a vampire and my laugh would sound mesmerizing, too. “Try not to let it know you’re coming for it. Just wait, and when the time’s right, you have to run full speed. Now once you’ve done that you snap it’s neck. Better not to let it suffer.

I stared at her in horror, and she patted my shoulder encouragingly. “I can’t do it Alice!” I moaned. “I want to throw up just thinking about it.”

“You’ve got to try, Bella.” By looking in her eyes, I could tell she was truly confused. No doubt she’d never seen a vampire refuse blood.

I concentrated on the fox, telling myself to make Alice proud. It seemed like I would really like her. If the fox had any idea I was about to kill it, it didn’t have a clue. In my head I counted and ten, and then I pounced.

The fox was obviously not quick enough to outrun a vampire, and I had it in my arms in three long, super-fast strides. I snapped it’s neck, following Alice’s direction, but I hesitated before drinking.

I looked over at her and she gave me a big smile. I’m sure is was meant to comfort me, but it made me feel like an even bigger monster.

Finally, I sunk my new, razor-sharp teeth into the fox’s warm throat, and it’s blood filled my mouth. It didn’t taste satisfying as I knew it probably should. The smell invaded my senses, making me lightheaded. I continued drinking, though I had no clue why. When I was done, I quickly wiped my mouth and turned towards Alice.

She was frowning at me. “You really didn’t enjoy it?”

I shook my head fiercely, disgusted with myself. Was it always going to be like this?