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I'm Sorry.

Summary:
Bella has just come to Forks after a breakup with her boyfriend from Phoenix. But how long will she actually last? Warning: I have the ending in mind, and it is a MAJOR twist. Muahaha. * not done, and i don't use deadlines. i write when i am in the mood. :] *


Notes:


9. Chapter 9

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 598   Review this Chapter

That night was something I would always remember.

Edward and I sat face to face on the newly acquired bed. I swear, the Cullen’s spend their money on the most trivial things. Why did we need a bed if we didn’t sleep?! I blushed as my thoughts went somewhere they shouldn’t. He noticed and bugged me about it, but I wouldn’t tell him. Not in a million years, since I would probably live that long.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, sympathy swelling in his eyes. “About… everything?” He played with a corner of the thick, dark blue satin comforter that was laid neatly beneath us.

“Fine,” I sighed. “As fine as I can be. I miss Charlie. And Renee.” He nodded. “And my heartbeat.”

“May I show you something?” A smile played along the edge of his lips as he gently pulled me off the bed and folded up the comforter.

We ran outside, full speed, and all the way to Wyoming. He picked a deserted field, quite random if you asked me. There didn’t seem to be anything special about it. The night was crisp, since it was December, and I surely would’ve gotten pneumonia if I was human, but I didn’t feel anything on my ever frigid skin.

Edward laid the blanket down and sat, patting the spot next to him. I obeyed in an instant. It seemed like there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him, if he ever asked me. I curled up in a ball out of habit - it was my favorite way of sitting.

“Do you believe in God?” I whispered. I’d been debating with myself about this since I was ten.

He thought about it before giving me an answer. “For me, it’s hard not to. It’s disgusting of me to think that my parents just died. That they aren’t up there watching me right now, while I’m sitting here with you. I think they can hear me. Sometimes I think they might despise me, though. They wouldn’t want a son like this.”

I stared at him in shock. “What are you talking about? Like what?”

“I am a monster,” he murmured, laying down flat on his back. I followed his move. “I am a killer - a murderer. I imagine I’d hate myself even more if it wasn’t for Carlisle’s feeding habits. There isn’t one day that goes by that I don’t want to be up there with them. Where ever they are… if they are anywhere besides six feet under.”

I took his hand, disbelieving. “Edward, you’re not a monster.”

“You don’t know what it’s like, Bella. You’ll never know. I mean, I’ve killed before. Believing it was for justice, but that doesn’t make it any better. That’s no excuse for what I’ve done.”

I had to admit, I was a bit surprised when he said that he’d killed, but nothing could probably change the feelings I’d been having for him. “You all say that it’s so hard to keep control of your thirst…”

When I didn’t continue he nodded. “Well, you obviously can’t expect to be perfect. We all make mistakes.”

He seemed to take that into consideration. “I don’t know what you could possibly see in me. Why you would ever want to be friends with someone like that.”

I suddenly blushed and it wasn’t hard to figure out why - our hands were still intertwined. I tried to pull away, but he held on, and I smiled. After a few minutes, I curled up into his side and listened to his breathing. And so we laid there, our hands connected, under the starriest night I’d seen in a while.