Have you ever wondered what Edward was thinking when he saw Bella again in Italy? Maybe he is not as innocent as we all might have thought...he is a man after all ;) CHAPTER 6 IS OUT: Making Her Understand FYI - This story is in canon *Adult rating - just in case Edward's thoughts get a little too steamy ;) ** The font used is called Edwardian Script - it just seemed perfect REVIEWS = MOTIVATION = CHAPTERS OUT FASTER
Get ready of some very silly and can we say maybe even steamy, Edward moments! Thanks to Stephenie for letting us play with Edward - we promise to return him soon - maybe ;)
6. Making Her Understand
Rating 4.5/5 Word Count 1776 Review this Chapter
“I’ll prove that you’re awake,” I caught her face securely between my hands. I needed to show her how much I loved her, show her that I was really here. She struggled, but I was not going to let her interrupt me this time. This time I would get my way. My lips were just half an inch away from her. I could almost taste her scent. I felt my mouth fill with venom, but the desire to feel her soft, warm lips, the urge to feel her body that close to mine was so much stronger than my thirst.
“Please don’t,” she whispered.
I stopped. My lips were just a few centimeters away from hers. I didn’t understand; why did she not want me to kiss her? I could feel the desperation start to fill me.
“Why not?” I demanded, immediately cursing my self for sounding much harsher than I had intended.
“When I wake up – “
How could she still believe that she was dreaming? If anything this should be a nightmare – only my Bella would think that being with me, a blood-sucking monster, could be a dream. I opened my mouth to protest, but she did not let me interrupt her.
“okay, forget that one – when you leave again, its going to be hard enough without this, too.”
I pulled back an inch. She thought I was going to leave her again. But how could she think that…when I loved here more than anything in the entire world. But maybe…
“Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so…hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I’m too late? Because I’ve hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be…quite fair. I won’t contest you decisions. So don’t try to spare my feelings, please – just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I’ve done to you. Can you?” I whispered.
“What kind of idiotic question is that?”
“Just answer it. Please”
She stared darkly at me for what seemed to be an eternity.
“The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you – and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
“That’s all I needed to hear.”
My mouth was on hers then, and it felt so much better than I could have ever imagined. Her sweet, smooth, warm lips send chills down my spine. How could I have ever thought that I could be away from my angel, my reason for continuing with this so called existence.
I was not going to kiss her like this though – to my surprise I was not being very careful. I thought of stopping this kiss sooner, but I could not bring myself to pull my lips away from hers.
My marble solid body pressed against every curve of her body, our bodies melting together, the heat of her skin radiating all around me. I wanted more, I needed more, I needed her. As if she could know what I was thinking she kissed me back. Her heart was pounding out a jagged, disjointed, rhythm. Her hands found their way to my face as mine did to hers. We were memorizing each other’s faces, when our lips pulled apart for a moment; we were both breathing heavily, looking into each other’s eyes. I could see so many things in her eyes, but love, passion, and ecstasy were the more prominent ones.
“Isabella” I whispered against her lips before kissing her again.
I could tell she was starting to get dizzy, and pulled away, laying my head against her heart. It was beating so quickly; for a moment I let myself think that it was beating for me and me alone.
“By the way, I’m not leaving you.” I said with a casual tone.
She didn’t respond. This might be a little harder than I thought. I left my head from Bella’s chest and locking her gaze in mine. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without you. I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you – keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking you life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn’t thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I’m much too selfish. Only you could be more important than what I wanted. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I’ll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay – thank heaven for that! It seems you can’t be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us.”
“Don’t promise me anything,” She whispered.
I could feel the anger rising within me. “You think I’m lying to you now?”
“No – not lying. You could mean it… now. But what about tomorrow, when you think about all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month when Jasper takes a snap at me?”
The memories of her 18th birthday flooded my head making me flinch in horror. To think that I had let her almost die in my own home.
“It isn’t as if you hadn’t thought the first decision through, is it? You’ll end up doing what you think is right.” She continued.
“I’m not as strong as you give me credit for. Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time – and not much of it – before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I’d be happy to beg now, if you’d like that.”
“Be serious, please.”
She was not listening to me at all. If she wanted me to beg I would be more than happy – to do anything she wanted me to do – as long as I was near my love.
“Oh, I am,” I said trying to dazzle her into believing me. “Will you please try to hear what I’m telling you? Will you let me attempt to explain what you mean to me?”
I waited, studying her face – making sure she was really listening to me. I felt this was my last chance to tell her how I felt about her. But there were no words. How could the moon confess his love for the sun – something he shouldn’t have even considered. But the moon was a greedy, selfish, monster, and the sun…ah the sun was unconsciously saving the moon from itself.
“Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars – points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.”
“Your yes will adjust,” she mumbled.
“That’s just the problem – they can’t.”
“What about the distractions?”
I laughed sarcastically. How could she have believed all the lies I told her…She had no idea what it is to live for so long not knowing that you have been missing your own soul. My own soul? I never thought that was possible, but Bella might be my soul. That thought brought a strange warmth to my dead heart.
“Just part of the lie, love. There was no distraction from the… agony. My heart hasn’t beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone – like I was hollow. Like I’d left everything that was inside me here with you.”
“That’s funny,” she murmured.
“Funny?” How could my Bella think that the way I suffered all these dreadful months be funny?
“I meant strange – I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven’t been able to really breathe in so long. And my heart was definitely lost”
She inhaled deeply. Her chest rose in the most enchanting way – but it didn’t compare to how her scent hit me when she exhaled. My mouth automatically filled with venom, which I forced the monster to swallow.
I closed my eyes and laid my ear over her heart again, allowing the beating of her heart to soothe me. Allowing the beast in me to compose itself. But the man in me could not help to take notice of how Bella’s breasts surrounded my face every time she inhaled.
Too soon - I told myself. I didn’t even know if she forgave me entirely yet, and there I was thinking of making her mine in every way possible. Now I wish I would have – maybe it would have prevented or at least postponed the events that followed.
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