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The Difference of Death and Life

Summary:
Originally called Love and Death or Hate and Life What happens when Edward is faced with a decission he has to make? A past love comes back for Edward, but he doesn't share the same feelings with her as he does with Bella. Will he leave her again, for her safety? Or will he stay with her and risk her life?


Notes:


14. Red Eyes

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1872   Review this Chapter

Charlie sat there for 5 minutes, he sobbed into my shirt, while I just watched every little speck of dust through blurry vision.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

Alice it read.

"Charlie, its Alice, I will be right back." I opened the phone as I walked for the stairs, and up into Bella's room.

I sat on her bed, "Hello?"

"Edward... you didn't let me finish-"

"Alice, I know. I'm at her house. Charlie is falling apart. I don't know if I can stand all this much longer. I don't know why I even left her in the first place. It's like I just remembered what Victoria and I had the first time, and that was immediately what I wanted, but I wanted it with Bella. I still do."

"EDWARD!" I didn't realize she was trying to get my attention, until she nearly screamed it.

"Yes?" I sighed.

"SHE IS ALIVE!" she cried.

"What?"

"Yes."

"How, do mean. NO!" I yelled.

"Are you okay, Edward?" Charlie called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just dealing..." I said loud enough for him.

"Alice! She- she- go changed?"

"Yes, but Edward, don't you see, now you don't have to do it, and there is no turning back for her. Her soul is already gone."

I couldn't help but fall to the ground.

I was on my knees and hands. This was the happiest moment and the worst. Confusion washed through out my body. What should I be? My eyes clouded, and my heart felt like it was beating again.

"Alice, where is she?"

"Italy."

"WHAT?!" First I leave her, and nearly kill MYSELF, and then she saves me. Now I leave her, she ‘dies', but doesn't, then is changed, and now she is in ITALY.

"It's not what you think. She was changed by Ryan, he works for them. And they were going to get her into the guard, just to get to us."

"Ugh!" I groaned. Why did I have to be wanted so much? I mean, like seriously... just because I can read everyone's (minus one) minds don't mean that there isn't another vampire out there that can't, right?

"Edward. I can't really see who she is with, but I know she is in a car traveling West with someone."

"You mean... she could be with someone else?" I asked fear showing its ugly face.

"Edward, I don't really know. But either way, if I were her, I wouldn't take you back. You don't deserve her. She doesn't deserve what you've put her through. Find some one else."

Alice is right.

I hung up and walked to Bella's window.

I could still smell her in the room, but it was stale. Like dead flowers. And that what she was. That's what I needed to convince myself. Bella is dead. Bella is gone. She's not coming back, ever!

I took an exaggerated, useless breath and walked down the stairs.

"How is Alice dealing?" I had totally forgotten about Charlie.

"She is still crying. But she won't stop looking."

Charlie nodded.

"I have to go. This is all too much for me to just be sitting in here. I'm going to go look for her."

"That's good...

"Yes sir?"

"I know I never showed it, but I like you. You're a good kid. You always could make her smile, when only one other person could-" Jacob Black "- She loved you. And I just want to thank you, for giving her what you did."

He got up and hugged me.

And I hugged him back, careful not to break him an half.

I slowly walked out to my car after that.

I drove it to the meadow in less than a minute.

I got out and ran.

I don't know where was running, but I just ran. Following the trees until there was no more trees to follow, then I just ran at a human pace. But I picked up speed when I saw no humans around.

I ran day through night.

I ran rain through shine.

I ran snow through mud.

I just, ran.

Like Forrest Gump. I don't know why I did it, I just did.

I ran for 14 days and 13 nights.

Hunting: occasionally. Stopping: never. Thinking: always.

So, my life is just screwed up now.

At times I actually regret ever meeting Bella. If I never met her, Victoria wouldn't have made me break her heart, not only once but twice. She wouldn't be a vampire, not to mention already WITH someone else. She wouldn't have to leave her whole if behind, her soul behind. But then again, I couldn't regret it. She taught me so much. Like how to love, when I have no heart. Or how to feel warmth, when I was freezing.

I soon ended up in going through western Canada, up to Alaska.

I didn't want to go to Denali; Tanya would have tried to have fun with me, especially when I am most vulnerable.

So instead I went to the snowy mountains of Healy. It was 11 miles north of Denali, so if needed I could go to the Denali Clan.

So Healy, here I come.

Ironic, huh? I go to Healy to try and heal my wounds.

Anyways, I crossed the welcome to Healy sign.

It said 1000 residents. Good thing I hunted just on the other side of the mountains.

I checked to make sure I had my wallet and then I ran up to the nearest hotel. It was a nice, obviously expensive (not that that was a problem) but I'll get a house as soon as I get a job.

I got to my room, just to check it out. It was nice, big... on the top floor.

It had a big bathroom, and the first thing I did was strip from my clothes and turned on the hot water. I timidly jumped into the shower and stood under the water. Letting the droplets cover my eye lashes and swivel in rivers down my stomach.

My neck hung gently and my arms limp. I inhaled the water and tried to choke, but no use. I couldn't die. Not matter how hard I tried, it didn't work, it would never work.

BPOV

I easily jumped back into the front of the car after I changed. I have to admit. Karmen did have a sense of style. She grabbed me a blood red quarter sleeve V-neck, and black skinny jeans, with red heels. And I wasn't afraid to wear them anymore because of my new grace.

I pulled down the mirror out of habit, and screamed.

"WHAT?" yelled Karmen, slamming on the brakes.

"My eyes! They're red."

"Yes. I forgot that you haven't seen yourself yet. It's from the remained of your human blood. It's still circulating through your body. I have some blue contacts in the bag they will make your eyes purple, but its better than red." I took this in as I regulated my breathing.

"Oh. Okay. I was scared for a moment." I said as I put the contacts in. Then I grabbed the hair brush from the bag in the back seat. I brushed through my already untangled hair. It was a little darker than before, but I liked it better this way. And I also noticed I lost all the extra fat around my hips and stomach.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as I watched our surrounding pass by us. It was late. I could tell by the midnight sky and the moon smiling down at us.

"Well we are in Pisa right now, but we are heading for Viareggio. We have about 15 miles left."

I nodded, acting like I knew where we were.

"You have no clue where we are, do you?" she asked me with a teasing smile.

"No. I have only been to Volterra once, and it was a while ago. I don't remember much." She nodded.

It was quiet after that. But we reached our destination a few minutes later.

"Alright. It's dark now, so we don't have to worry, but tomorrow it will be bright, and sunny, so we have to move quickly." She ordered. "And I have an idea of where we could work. We will only need to work long enough to get into the States."

"Alrighty then. Where will we work?"

"Waitresses." She said quickly.

"Good thing I'm not human, cause if I were this would suck!"

She laughed and walked into a small restaurant.

"Hello, I'm Karmen May and this is my sister Isabella. And we were wondering if we could get a job application." The man at the waiters podium just stood open mouthed.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. I'm sorry about that. Here are the applications and you can either go to the managers office or fill them out of mail them in."

"Managers office." Karmen said without a second thought.

"Alright. Come with me."

We went through the hallway and up some stairs. The architecture of the building was amazing. Cobbled floors and stone walls made it look so mysterious. I liked it. But once you fit the eating area there was red and cream walls.

We turned into a room at the left.

He opened the door and told the man in there, manager, that they had some applicants.

"Send them in." he said in a bubbly voice.

We walked in and sat down in the designated chairs. They we too squishy for my taste; you kind of just sunk into them.

"Hello girls. I am to believe that you two are aspiring waitresses. Am I right?" we nodded. "Good. So fill out those papers and tell me when you are done." We nodded again.

Name was easy, but address...

"Karmen." I said too quickly and quietly for the manager. "Address, number?"

"Put the hotel. And my cell phone number."

I did as she said and finished the rest quickly.

We both finished in a matter of moments.

And handed the papers to the dumbstruck manager.

"That was fast." We giggled. "I will look this over and then call you when you can have a test run."

"Can't we do it tonight?"

"I- uh..." he stuttered as we smiled pleadingly and gazed into his eyes.

"Alright. There are some uniforms in that closet right there."

We slowly, for us, got up and opened the doors. It was a walk in closet so it was a few steps until we saw the clothes.

The uniforms were like any other restaurant. The black nylons, with black shirt and vest over a white button up and red tie.

We quickly changed and Karmen got out of the closet. I slipped my heels back on and looked in the mirror. I sighed and took one last look at myself before exiting.